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Not Your Usual Affair	By : PhebStur Category: Twilight Series > Slash Views: 4799 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or make any money from this story.

Chapter List
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"Get Him!" Emmett ranted at Jasper as he wrapped the robe closed…throwing on the towel.

Emmett went to leap after Edward who took off up the stairs faster than light locking the door of his room as he remained inside hiding from his older brothers.

“Dang it!” Emmett tried to budge the door as he reached the top a few seconds after Edward.
“The door has a security system on it after what happened last year when I messed up his room.” “You pansy!” He screamed through the door ragingly banging on it. “Come out or we’re coming in!”

“Wait!” Jasper touched Emmett’s shoulder “Shouldn’t we like…dress first?”

“Why?”

“Well…” replied Jasper with distinctive alertness in his voice. “We may want to you know like “ compromise with him……run after him…should we brake the door down I would like to feel a little more in my realm if you know what I mean?”

Emmett sat there for a second scratching his head in thought to that statement.

“Ugh fine never mind then.” Jasper trotted to his room where the door had been left opened. “I will be here…changing” I will be a few minutes maybe two then I will help you catch little Eddie!” Jasper spoke quickly shutting his bedroom door to remove his racy outfit.
Emmett did not like this one bit.

“Ugh ruin the excitement will you…..um yes!” He wined.

Emmett returned to his and Rosie’s room to do the exactly same thing because running in a women’s tight dress wasn’t going to do anything for you when you needed to catch the fastest vampire in the house.

A moment later they were both dressed in comfortable clothes and sat by the door with one ear against its surface.

"Emmett...you stay cover here; ill go around the back...”

"Why do I have to stay here?"

"Because..." Jasper threw him a walk talkie "If he ran out the back window I’ll be able to catch him faster...I might not be as fast as Edward but im surely faster than you."

Jasper was about to dart out of sight until Emmett threw his arm around Jasper's frame wheeling him in for a goodbye kiss.

Jasper frowned. "Not now Emmett...I am sorry to inform you this isn’t the best time."

"It never is with you!"

"You want to catch him as much as I do."

"I know." Emmett's puppy dog face irritated Jasper.

"Fine one kiss!" Jasper kissed Emmett gently placing his hand on his cheek.

The Jasper was gone and out the front door in a flash.
He made his way to the back of the house right outside the window of Edward's room.

Climbing was the next challenge.....that a human would fail at though it took Jasper a good 10 seconds to climb a tree and leer into the room of his younger brother. Nothing.

The room was vacant; and unless Edward had been hiding in his closet (which wasn’t likely due to Edward being afraid of the dark) he had escaped.

"Only two minutes and counting; he's escaped! Jasper spoke in the walk -talkie. "We both have a chance; we don’t leave now...we'll never catch him!"

"I recognize that little fucker's scent...we'll find him sooner or later." Emmett replied.

"Be gentle Emmett...we might be able to crack him a deal.

There was no reply. Ten seconds later Emmett was at Jasper's side...an answer already formed.

"Well?"

..."Fine!" But only because Carlisle would decapitate me if I ever hurt his Eddie Weddie!"

"You take North I'll take East. “Jasper directed. "The scent is still potent we'll catch him faster if he stopped and hid...keep your voices low and follow the scents." Jasper ran out of sight leaving Emmett to take his position of the Northern trail that lead past the rivers.

Jasper was left for the Eastern Mountains knowing he would have a better chance of keeping up with Edward's pace.

A few moments later the two brothers met up at the base of an old oak...its wide truck was large enough for a car to pass through though it hadn’t been used for that.

"This is a waste of time..."

"Shah Wait I smell something."

Jasper threw a look toward the tree then at his lover. "He's inside the tree trunk."

"How the hell did he get in there?"

A bolt of lighting flew from the trunk and far into the forest like a speeding light.

"Shit!" Emmett stated. “Your right; the little fucker took off; he's headed back to the house!"

"Go now!" Jasper spoke strictly. "If you want to keep your nuts..."

Jasper frowned. "Put those away Emmett."

Emmett hung his head down while he threw the peanuts back in his pocket. "Ugh every fucking time I try to eat!"

The two brothers made it back to the house in a short five minutes....Circling the perimeter of the house they knew Edward hadn't fled from the house. He was there inside....hiding. How pointless.

They searched the house top to bottom for ten minutes finding nothing. Three times searching they got pissed off.

"We'll never find that little squealer!" He probably took off to Spain to tell Carlisle!"

"Oh he wouldn’t go that far!" Smiled Jasper. "Be patient!"

“Patient! Patient! God! I haven’t done it with you for over a day and a half I want our time back without having to worry about chasing Edward....."

.."It's been twenty minutes...."

"Oh who's counting?" Emmett relaxed on the sofa his arms crossed his eyes piercing into a wine glass on the glass coffee table.

"Wait till I get him....."

"Hmmm he may be closer than you think!" Jasper grinned again.

"What?" asked Emmett?

Jasper ran to the window spotting a yellow convertible pulling up beside Emmett's land rover.

"Ooh look who's home... it's my sweetie pie Alice!"

Emmett glowered. "Whoop de do!"

"Well look....there’s someone beside her."OOOh and its Edward....and he seems to be "tied up?"

Emmett's eyes scanned Jasper's. "No way!"

"Oh...yes way!"

Emmett was at the window in half a second and he witnessed Alice jumping out of the front seat and Edward out of the passenger's with his hands tied behind him.

"Handy little thing she is!" Emmett's wide grin returned.

"Yes she is!" Jasper waved. "I taught her how to do that..."

"Catch Edward?"

"Catch her pray." He replied eyes still glowing at his teeny wife who had Edward by the back guiding him toward the house; almost as if he couldn’t see his way.

"She must have caught him near the highway!"

Alice entered the house. A piercing smile sent shivers in Jasper's spine as he walked over to his wife and embraced her.

"Hello sweetheart." Jasper's lip turned up in the side.

"Hay Honey!" She stood on her tip toes to reach his lips. I'm so sorry boys....Eddie here got me distracted and I was in another realm of thought when he decided to return to the house." "And I completely got distracted by another vision!" "But since I failed on you ...all I could do was return him rightfully to you!"

Edward's face was numb. He looked like he was in total shock.

"He won’t talk....he's a bit "shook up" he was just "sitting" in the forest rocking back and forth under a spruce tree just two hundred feet off the highway."

"You'll be okay Edward." Alice kissed his defined cheek. "The boys are just going to have a *TALK* with you and then I’ll take you out to distract your mind elsewhere." She promised.

"Be gentle with him boys....I can see EVERYTHING. Remember that!"

Bye Emmett...bye Honey!" She blew a kiss to Emmett and Jasper before departing the house. "Ill be back later."

Alice shut the door behind her. The two vampires turned their head from the door where Alice departed from to stare them back at Edward who was obviously going through some mental stress.....................

But did the boys listen to Alice...not very well.

Edward found no release. He was captured and bound with boat rope around his upper chest and arms and legs attached to one of the giant pillars of the house.
Jasper had also fashioned him with his Green bunny pajama’s (since they were closer to each other’s size) while wearing duct tape across his mouth that Emmett provided.

Edward’s eyes were furious as his two older brothers’ held him captive in fears of what information he might release to Rosalie.
He squinted at Emmett and Jasper; already planning a hex against them.

“Bro…Eddie… we have to talk…” Emmett replied to his little brother with an attempted sympathetic gesture.

Edwards’s lips were pressed tightly together.

“Come on…SPEAK!” We REALLY need to TALK!”

Edward refused to speak.

“Okay…look…we have to do one thing or the other…we have to simply take this into perspective” Jasper spoke over Emmett knowing he would be able to explain this better. “We need to have you keep what you just seen a SECRET.”

“For how long?” He finally spoke with a massive frown.

“As long as we need.”

“Which is…?” Edward eyed them.

“About …let’s try …eternity.”

“Eternity.” Edward chuckled. “Your going to try and withstand Rosalie for eternity you do know that’s not going to work…she may not be psychic or read minds but she does has a strong sense in another type of way…you know…I don’t have to spill her anything…she’ll find out on her own.”

Edward was still very upset for being made to wear Jasper‘s green bunny PJ‘s.

“Besides…as she finds out I’ll loose my mind when you both are playing mind sex…how am I going to forget about that? Just ignore it when *Emmett* he eyed Emmett OR *Jasper* he threw his eyes on Jasper strong and fierce “are humping each other in my head! “I am not going to be the monkey in the middle of this!”

Emmett took a hold of Edward’s shoulder’s blazing his eyes on Edward’s.

“Oh you are Edward….and to make it perfectly sure that you will keep this quiet…”

“We will make you a deal.” Jasper quickly spoke throwing his light honey eyes at Emmett then back to Edward. He had settled down; having a compromise in preparation.

“We will keep our promise of trying to keep this completely out of your head…we will do Our Best to clear our minds when your around…we wont disturb your mind or throw anything unnecessary.” “And Alice will behave to…as she knows now what’s going down with you.”

Edward didn’t like this much.

“Also,” Emmett added. “You screw up on the deal…..ill get Philippe hereto seduce you…” “And I’m not kidding….one phone call and your Spanish “icing on the cake.” he threw a wink at Edward whose eyes resembled a deer in headlights.

“You wouldn’t!”

“You want to bet?” he tilted his head gazing into Eddie’s eyes.

“No.” Because I don’t want my man hood feudalized.”

“Someday you might…” “Gee you need to get laid…”

“Emmett…you don’t let me go now …I’ll eat your face!”

He stopped to collect his thoughts. He had no choice though he wasn’t really interested in their sex life or getting involved.

“I won’t break any promises if you idiots keep your dirty thoughts to yourselves…”

“Well why you don’t keep your head to yourself…”

“If I could I would,” he continued, the hard face returning.

“But unfortunately I can hear things uncalled for, things I wish I could take back all the time.”

“Fine.” Ranted Emmett. “Enough said.” “Deal is a deal…let’s shake on it.”

Emmett’s hand reached out for Edward’s who pulled back and hesitated at that statement.

Emmett frowned. “What’s wrong now…?”

Edward made a face. “Did you… “Wash” your hands?”

“What?”

“He didn’t get that far Edward don’t worry.” Jasper’s calming voice and words put Edward’s inner anxiety at a rest for the thought of Emmett not washing off his lover’s “evidence” but like Jasper had confirmed…nothing like that happened.

“Ok just making sure…”

Emmett shook Edward’s hand. The brother’s untied the boat rope and released him letting their conformity take position.

“Okay so we all know what to do in the instant future…but just to let you know now…” Edward spoke with each word velvety, in a slow pace like he was trying to get a straight message across.

“The more time you waste holding back the truth, the more you’re going to get stuck in this deep hole which you’ll find it impeccably impossible to climb out of.”

“Shut up Edward!” Emmett grabbed an abandoned Twinkie off the counter.

“Aw Emmett!” Eating again…”

… “At least its food he’s eating this time.” Edward’s eyes held on Emmett’s in a disgusting manner.

“Don’t you start with me!”

“…Shouldn’t you be hunting anyway?”

“That’s what Jasper said.” Emmett continued to enjoy his hotdog.

"But the "baby" wanted to go hunting by himself for some "alone time...!" "What the hell is alone" time anyway..."

"It means “Edward began. "Time he wants to spend away from you."

"That's not true...he doesn’t need alone time; I know all his secrets...he keeps nothing from me!"

"...That's what you think..."

Emmett bit another piece of hotdog throwing Edward a suspicious look.

“Carlisle wants you to hunt!” Edward ranted. "Throw that stinking wiener out!"

“Carlisle also said I was his favorite son!” replied Emmett not chewing his food as he spoke.

Edward’s face was expressionless. “Carlisle didn’t say that.”

“Oh…” He didn’t, did he? Well…then you ask him that when he comes back. He said I was less annoying because I don’t complain or wine as much as you do…”

Edward frowned breathing harshly through his nostrils like he could have strangled him right there…instead he fled from the kitchen holding his head down his hands in his pockets.

“Aw Eddie…”

“…I…I’m not talking to you right now Emmett…” Edward’s voice was soft but filled with pain from Emmett’s sharp words.

“…..Can’t take a joke buddy?”

“…That‘s not a joke you hollow headed ape! “ Spat Edward. “I was with him the longest. Then you go and saying things!”

“Aw fine…come let me make it up to you with a friendly bear hug!” Emmett’s deviant smile threw Edward off.

“I …don’t think that’s a very good idea Emmett…” Edward backed up against the chair holding it with anxiety his strong grasp broke a piece into his palms.

"Shit! Esme is going to be pissed..."

“Dude…your avoiding me now?!” complained Emmett.

For a moment there were no words…until Edward’s eyes spoke for him.

“Aw what we‘re still bro‘s!” Emmett threw him his loveable puppy dog expression.

“Huff!”

“Aw…wait a minute…..you don’t think I’m after you…..”

Emmett’s eye brows rose at that thought. Then he started to laugh.

“Oh Edward…your so not my type!” Smiling gently, confirming the truth.

“Good!” Edward crossed his arms around his chest leaning against the stair banister avoiding his brother. “I don’t want to be the main ingredient between an Emmett and Jasper sandwich.

“Now there’s a thought!” Emmett’s mind trailed off into forbidden territory when Edward’s following words cut off his brother’s.

“No…there’s no thought about it!” Edward’s frown continued.

“Honestly…don’t be offended but …you have nothing to worry about Eddie…..I am not that “interested in you.” Emmett tried to make his words truthful but understanding.

He rolled his eyes sarcasm obvious. “Oh Emmett…my god…what will I ever do if I am not part of your genital pleasure!” His eyes squinted. Emmett busted out laughing then wore a grin for Edward.

“Oh I love your sarcasm!”

He nodded. “Thank You for recognizing it.”

Edward‘s arms still locked tightly like stone across his chest analyzing Emmett’s mind.

Your pretty …don’t get me wrong…”

“Oh here we go…” Edward’s teeth gritted.

“Your pretty…but …I’m more into “blondes”.

Edward’s eyes widened at the statement. The honey colored eyes turned into a deep fierce gold.

“Oh no; NOT CARLISLE TOO!” Edward sunk to the floor burying his head into his arms that were now wrapped around his legs trying to forget that mental image.

“Everyone in this household is going to turn gay aren’t they?”
“What?” Emmett presumed.

“You have a thing…….for Carlisle?!”

Emmett quickly replied. “NO!” But he is pretty and when his hair touches the wind it does smell like sugar candy.” Emmett sighed.

The fierce look Edward gave Emmett never changed by an inch.

“I didn’t need to know that!”

“What?” “Yours smells like apple blossom.”

“I didn’t need to know that either!”

“Oh Eddie…don’t be jealous!”

…“Oh…you don’t have to worry about that.” His emotions calmed as Jasper re entered the room finished from hunting.

“Why not…I don’t turn you on?”

“Um….I’m afraid not.”

“Dang!” Oh well…are we still brothers?”

Edward breathed through his nostrils lifted himself from the floor in a swift fast movement. “Fine…but you can’t call Phillip over…”

“Deal!” Emmett’s teeth glittered a pearl white.

“I mean it Emmett…you will die mark my words!”

“Fine!” He spat again.

The two vampires eyed each other and nodded.

Edward was vacating the room.

"Gee your hard to please…no wonder we’d never make it as a couple…you’ d have way more tasks to put me on before we’d hit the sack!

Edward walked away hearing Emmett’s last thoughts…..he cringed.
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Not Your Usual Affair