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Things Change	By : kaguyahime Category: A through F > Ender's Game Views: 3255 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own these characters or have anything to do with the Ender's Game series or its author, no profit is being made from this

Chapter List
- 5
- 6
- 7
"Well?"
"Well what?"
"Did you talk to the boy?"
"To a degree. He didn't say much."
"Well persist, the time is approaching and we need his full attention, understand?"
Rackham understood. Only too well, as long as the job was done the effect of the soldier never mattered. If they wanted something they got and then you were a problem for someone else to sort out.

It was why he had tried not to form any attachments; people had been dismissed for just that. God knew what they'd do with him.
He had avoided Ender for a few days, when questioned he had said he wanted to see how well he performed before moving on. Colonel Graff had frowned at this, making things easier was something very uncharacteristic of Mazer Rackham.
"Fine, he's all yours anyway"
He flinched at the term Graff used
"But get him back on schedule quickly, and get his head sorted."
So it was later that day he forwarded a note informing Ender that his training resumed the following morning at ten sharp. Under no circumstances was he to be late.
"How are you doing?" Bean asked with a smile as Ender sat down with him at lunch, the food looked lumpy and unappetising but he was too hungry to care. He tried to remember the last time he had had candy or something that hadn't been processed into mush. It felt like years...maybe it had been, he'd stopped trying to make sense of the days ages ago.
"Not too bad"
"You seem better than you were, at least I don't feel like I'm walking on glass around you...maybe that's why Rackham's not seen you for few days!"
'Unlikely' Ender thought then adjusted the reply "I don't think my bad moods would faze him somehow."
"True" Bean sipped his water "well whatever is helping, keep it up! You're a lot easier to work with at the moment."
Ender smiled to himself, as much as he would like to keep it up he had a feeling he would have a job convincing Rackham to.

Out of the corner of his eyes he saw Petra exiting, he excused himself and followed after her
"Petra, wait!"
She turned and it seemed to take her a few moments to register who he was
"Oh, hey..."
"What's the matter?"
"Nothing to do with you" she scowled and started to walk away, Ender jogged after her; she stopped with a sigh and looked at him. Her lips were set in a grim line and her eyes her fed up.
"Sorry, I'm just not in a great mood today; I've got a lot on my mind at the moment"
"I just wanted to ask you something but if you want to be alone..."
"No, it's fine, I would like to be left alone but if you keep it short..." Petra tailed off for a second "just ask" she said shaking her head.
"Let's just say I followed your advice and told the person...in a way, I was interesting and now I have a feeling they are avoiding me."
"Sounds normal, I think I would until I'd sorted out in my own mind how I felt and how to respond" she smiled half heartedly "deal with it, things normally work out...they did with my parents!"
Ender nodded, his eyes filled with concern, not just for her but for the effect it could have...although when pitched against her it could be an advantage.

But thinking as a friend it was never pleasant knowing she was depressed.
"Thanks...and if you want..."
"If you're worried just ask him" Petra interrupted, her tone dismissive "can't do any harm..." With that she walked away.
'Easier said than done' Ender thought 'he's impossible to get hold of...'
Ender's chance came after the last class of the day, his first since it was the only one he was expected to attend.

By chance Rackham had been stopped by Colonel Graff and both were talking in low tones in the corridor.

Ender paused for a minute, trying to see if he could catch what they were saying but they kept their voices too quiet.
Upon hearing his approach Graff glanced round, muttered something else and moved away, giving no acknowledgement towards Ender as he walked past.
"Sir?"
Rackham had started away himself but turned at the request
"What is it, Wiggin?"
"Can I talk with you?"
"As long as it is a talk and not some illegitimate excuse to get me on my own" Ender tried not to smile and coughed instead.
"It is..."
Rackham nodded and led him back to his office; he pushed Ender in ahead of him and closed the door quietly.
"Sir..."
Rackham held up a hand
"Don't say anything..." He leant against his desk; regarding Ender coolly "I have a good idea of what you want to say and I don't want to hear it."
Ender met his gaze; he didn't like what he read and knew he would hate what he was going to say even more.
"You know full well what happened was completely inappropriate and I am determined it will never happen again. Whatever your...our reasons there is no excuse for disregarding rules, I have ever tolerated misconduct and I don't intend to start now...especially if my own in slipping."
Ender fumed, a heated flush tarnishing his cheeks, he clenched his fists behind his back and although he remained silent his frustration was clear.
"If you do try to instigate anything again I have no choice but to report you"
"Wait a..."
"Quiet! I know full well I gave in but I could easily forget to mention that and I am more likely to be believed than you, and I'm also old enough to supposedly know better...now go."
He turned away, not wanting to see any reaction. He didn't actually miss much, Ender's eyes narrowed dangerously before he stormed over to the door.
"Bastard!" He spat and slammed it hard behind him.
Rackham stood motionless for a few minutes before sitting shakily and burying his head in his hands.
Furiously Ender stormed back to his quarters and threw himself onto the bed, had there been a battle that evening he would have destroyed the enemy single handed.

Instead his already limp pillow took the brunt of his anger before he covered his head with it. From beneath the thin material he heard a click that he was very familiar with but one he hadn't heard for some time.
'Lock me in all you want' he thought, peering from under the corner 'see if I care! I'd rather be here than out with the others anyway!'
Would you? A voice deep within him questioned, were you ever alone at home when you were unhappy?
'No...' Ender closed his eyes 'I always had support, I always had Valentine or at least one of my parents...'
And that's why you're angry! The voice continued chidingly. You aren't here because you really want to be and you know they don't want you to have anyone. You work it out yourself...and now you're facing something you struggle to solve when everything used to come so easy!
'I'm not struggling with anything...' Ender thought with a scowl 'things may be messed up at the moment but I'm not!'
He fell into a sleep brought on by frustrated emotions, his mind still in a fog of mixed thoughts and moods.

It was a dark dreamless sleep, but not one that cured tiredness.
Rackham remained where he was for some time, he felt as if a new Formic War had started within him.

He hadn't been this stressed for some time and part of him wished Colonel Graff still drank on the job, he could've finished a bottle of Vodka.

Not that getting drunk ever helped, not when it came to the next day anyway.
Being in denial of his feeling had become natural now and when they did try and make an appearance they hit hard.

He got up, sitting around wasn't doing anything except leading him to dwell on things.
It was the danger of working with the young, sooner or later they ask more than you can give...
- 5
- 6
- 7
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Things Change