Adult-FanFiction.org : Books

Cellulose & Steel	By : Not-Taylor Category: Misc Books > FemmeSlash Views: 1028 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I don't own HDG or its characters and I don't make money from this work.

Chapter List
- 59
- 60
- 61
“Are you ready to discuss what you learned, darling?”
“No. I didn’t learn anything.”
“Then that’s what we ought to discuss.” It should’ve known that wouldn’t work. Discussing what it “learned” is a terrible idea and sure to lead to yet another argument in which xenodrugs end the debate.
“Ember, summarize. We’re going to sit here until you do.”
As Verda says that her vines close on her helpless prisoner, stopping it from moving without actually touching it. It could move if it didn’t mind rubbing against her, but she knows it does, and Ember knows she could easily inject it if it came close to escaping. The rest of the affini woman sinks onto the nearby chair. She stares at it, menacingly. It senses it isn’t in trouble… yet. Provided it talks about those ridiculous fake pronouns. It doesn’t want to think about that.
“What was the sixty third video about?”
“A floret was talking about transition,” Ember replies, hoping that’s all that needs to be said.
“Good. What did you think?”
“That that floret’s brain must be completely scrambled in order to be happy about not having been listened to. Something about religion. I had trouble understanding the chain of thought. And the affini picked her name. I didn’t like that.”
“Have I picked your name, or did I wait for you to choose one for yourself?”
“...”
“That’s right! When you were refusing to use your old name, after I had tried to get you to respond to it, I decided that you knew what you really wanted to be called and gave you quite a while to find a new one. My confidence was rewarded because I wouldn’t have been able to find one that suited you as well, tdaiyn.”
Ember remembers something about that. Why did it leave its old name, again?
“Does that have something to do with Evlen calling me Song?”
“It does. You told him that that was your name.”
“Oh. You mentioned that.”
“If you asked me to, I would be glad to call you Olivia again. But since you’ve started introducing yourself by something else, you’d have to ask me explicitly. I know you’re up to the challenge if you want to be, Ember.” That’s not happening.
“I still don’t like how intoxicated that floret was.”
“And yet, you’re not that way, are you? I wouldn’t want you to be, and that’s why you aren’t.”
“I don’t understand that.”
“Because I believe you’re willing to be cooperative. Or, less diplomatically,” Verda says. Ember isn’t sure that her being less diplomatic is possible. “I think that you’re much more interesting than an intoxicated floret cooing over everything I say.”
“I’ll accept the compliment.”
Verda smiles. She looks relieved, probably because she expected a harsher reply. She’s lucky Ember doesn’t feel like making things worse right now.
“Anything else?”
“There wasn’t anything useful in the entire video.”
“Not for you, perhaps. A lot of florets are repressing their gender identity when they come to us, and not only terrans. That’s one of the strongest indicators that an individual would benefit from domestication.”
“So you’re groomers, preying on the weak and insecure.”
She laughs as though she found that funny. Wait, did she?
“You could say that, darling. You could also say we find those who aren’t doing very well and help them become somebody they can feel confident and happy as.”
“Most florets look terrified when they’re alone. I can tell that their ‘owners’ are just offscreen in most of these videos based on how their eyes move, and how there’s occasionally a random vine visible.”
“But with their owners, or saviors as we’re often called,” she says very pointedly. “They can be very confident, and feel safe for once.”
“They shouldn’t need another person to feel safe. That’s a very toxic relationship dynamic.”
“Wards rarely choose not to become florets.”
“We both know why that is, and it has nothing to do with- Actually, the term love bombing comes to mind.”
Verda frowns and then sighs. “It’s very difficult for a lot of us to restrain our affection when an adorable seed comes into our care.-”
“What’s a seed?”
“Oh… It’s… a sort of slang term. It means… I suppose one could say a seed is somebody who grows into a floret.”
“Wouldn’t that be a bud? Or a budlet?”
“‘Budlet?’ I suppose that would make sense. However, the term was in use long before I would’ve had a chance to propose another. Seed is more elegant as a term, don’t you think?”
“It’s less accurate. A seed grows into an entire plant, not just one flower out of many. And why do you say floret and not flower? That’s really weird.”
“There’s a very good historical reason behind that, but I’m not superstitious enough to take the explanation seriously. Sometimes language doesn’t make perfect sense.”
“Just because that other weed called you that doesn’t mean you are. You don’t have to be scared of old stories.”
“You’re very right, Ember. I’m still not going to go into detail about Affini legends. Today, anyway.” What a shame, that’s something it would’ve enjoyed hearing about. It should ask about Sfpl’fth’s legends too at some point.
“Hm.”
“If you’ve nothing else to add, we should proceed to the second video you watched. Tell me about it.”
“You’ve clearly seen them as well.”
“Of course. But your input is what I care about.”
The Free Terran pilot sighs. “It was about not insulting xenos by accidentally misgendering them and about nonbinary stuff.”
“What did you think about the first part?”
“It made sense. It didn’t contradict what you said before.”
“Does that mean you’re going to try harder not to misgender people in the future?”
It doesn’t want to answer that. “Maybe.”
“We’ll work on that. What about the rest?”
“Being nonbinary isn’t real in humans.”
“How would you address the arguments made in the video?”
“It’s a bunch of fallacies. Genders don’t just come from nothing. There’s biology involved. That’s what makes it real.”
“Am I a woman, Ember?”
“You said you weren’t.”
“Do you believe that?”
“I wouldn’t know. Probably.”
“Then what gender am I?”
“I don’t know.”
“Do you intend to start using nonbinary pronouns for me?”
“No.”
“Isn’t that strange? You’re treating me as a woman even though you know I’m not one.”
“Do you want me to stop?”
“This isn’t about what I want right now. You criticized me for using gender as a fashion statement when that’s just what it is. To others, that might be a painful experience, but I don’t mind at all.”
“I don’t know what you’re trying to tell me.”
“Do you consider yourself a woman, Ember?”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“You’ve recently shown some resistance to gendering yourself as well as refusing to offer your pronouns when asked for them. That’s symptomatic of being uncomfortable with them. You already know that’s true. So. Do you think you would be happier being seen as something other than a man or a woman?”
“Humans only come in two genders.”
“I wasn’t asking about abstract humans, I was asking about you, pet. Would you be happier as something else?”
“You’re not going to steal my gender. I have no idea why you’re obsessed with this stupid shit but I don’t care. I don’t want to talk about it!”
“That’s an interesting reaction. Most people would have said ‘of course not.’ Or am I giving you new information?”
It just wants to be left alone.“Does it matter?”
“It matters to me. I care a great deal whether you’re being made unhappy, and even more about whether I’m participating in that unhappiness.”
“Can I go now?”
“Not yet. I’d still like you to tell me what you think you would feel if I were to use alternate pronouns for you. You don’t have to commit to anything.”
“No.”
“Then…”
“I’m not a thing. I’m a person.”
“I’ve never said otherwise.”
“But I’m not a thing. Verda, I’m a real person, with real feelings. I’m not a thing. I deserve better.” Ember was starting to cry even before the bullying began..She doesn’t know why this was so upsetting to her.
“Your feelings are real and you aren’t a thing, Ember. That’s very clear to me.”
“But it doesn’t matter. You don’t care if I’m a thing. I’m just property, barely a pet. I’m a possession to kick when it doesn’t work right. And I don’t work right, I’m useless!”
“This is why we should have had the other conversation first,” Verda thinks. “If my pet had been able to process that specific event, perhaps this particular issue wouldn’t have needed resolution now. It’s another block to progress.” She needs to find a way to make her floret see that this isn’t a “gender stealing plot,” but other things need tending to first.
“You’re far from useless, but I thought you didn’t like when I complimented you.” That’s enough to make Ember pause. “I’ve never seen you as a thing, and I’ve said many times over the past few days that you’re something unusual and special. You probably don’t want a hug, but it’s here if you’d like one.”
Ember seriously considers the offer and then scolds herself for being so stupid. The weed is trying to corrupt her and take away who she is. Touching is how they get you. They’re attacking her through touch deprivation now. Verda believes that domestication is an inherent good, and Ember has no choice but to fight against it.
“I… am useless. I… can’t…” It’s starting again. It hasn’t shaken this way since it was in that hospital. Something happened. The weeds touched it somehow. Pain… It’s starting to remember-
“Ember?”
The pathetic and worthless excuse for a boat can’t even remember why it’s suffering. Worse than the weeds. Maybe they’re right and it really is a thing. Song’s error tone is quiet because it can’t even muster enough energy to form it properly. It should be scrapped. It knows it had broken off communications with the weed inside it and they were approaching Ruby Trunk-
“I don’t want to hear about how useless you are right now. If you still feel that way later, we can talk about it then. For now, I want to hear more about the video. How did you feel about unequivocal nonbinary representation?”
This is a distraction. If we weed actually cared it wouldn’t try to hide what they’d done to it before it-
“Ember Edok, look at me. Please. Focus.” A slender vine drags the ship’s chin (ships shouldn’t have chins) to force its sensors to take her in. She looks concerned rather than angry. “Ember, please tell me about the video and the nonbinary individuals in it. I need your analysis.”
“I saw an affini go by it/its. I thought that was stupid.”
Verda does her best not to show her relief. That was far closer than she would’ve liked, but her floret should be stable for the time being. Perhaps noting the trigger for this episode will be useful in helping her adorable terran overcome the associated trauma. For now, it’s most important to ensure there isn’t a relapse.
“How come? I think it’s entirely sensible not to attempt to fit into either of humanity’s genders as a nonhuman.”
“So you admit there are only two Terran genders.”
Verda scowls. That means Ember trapped her into admitting something awkward. This is an argument Ember can win.
“You didn’t like fae/faer either,” the affini prompts.
“Because that isn’t a gender.”
“And you’d say it/its is an acceptable set of gender neutral pronouns?”
“But I’m not a thing!”
“We weren’t talking about you, darling. We were talking about the affini in the video you just watched.” She’s correct. Why did Ember make that assumption?
“I’m not a thing…” It’s a real person, not a thing. It can’t not be a woman. That would be-
“I know you aren’t, Ember.” She sighs. “What about they/them?”
“That’s plural, unless the person uses ‘they is’, which sounds ugly but at least it’s kind of correct.”
“Very interesting. So all of the options of pronouns you’re aware of can be described as grammatically incorrect, ‘thing,’ and ‘fake?’”
“I guess so.”
“Then how would you address the floret’s insect friend?”
“I don’t know. It?”
“But what if it had a somewhat different perspective on life? Suppose, like you, the insect didn’t want to be seen as an object?”
“...”
“Well?”
“I don’t know.”
“Would you go along with the xeno’s chosen pronouns? That would be simple, wouldn’t it?” A few of her vines seem to pool on the floor as she speaks.
“It would, I guess.”
“What if a terran made the same introduction, and didn’t want to be a man, a woman, or a thing?”
“I don’t know. That’s not real.”
“Why not?”
“It just isn’t.”
“Then you’d give an insect consideration you wouldn’t show a member of your species? That’s strange, given how highly you regard them.”
“Hm.” Ember shudders. She still doesn’t feel well. She still does need to know what happened back then…
“I’m just bringing up something I found interesting, Ember. What did you think about the thought experiment at the end of the video?”
“You didn’t make me talk about the others.”
“No, but I felt like talking about these two. Your opinions are interesting, darling.”
“I don’t believe you.”
“They really are! Being able to hear from somebody with as little filtering as you have is rare. Did you follow along?”
“I guess.”
“And?”
“I don’t want to talk about it.”
“Very well. You’ve already talked a lot for today. We have somewhere to go, actually. We should start to get ready to leave anyway..”
“You planned the entire conversation out.”
“I planned how long we had to talk, yes. We just happened to reach a decent stopping point before we had to leave. You aren’t going to like it very much, but this particular outing is very important. You’d like a cookie, wouldn’t you?”
“You’re bribing me.”
“Is it a bribe to tell you that there will be cookies at our destination whether you come willingly or not? You don’t have to eat them if you don’t feel hungry.”
“What if I still don’t want to go?”
Verda sighs, shoulders sagging. “We’re seeing somebody who might be able to understand your condition better than some of the other affini we’ve spoken to about it.”
“Why will this one be able to help?”
“Because she’s an expert in terrans and your neurology in particular.”
“Oh. In that case I think that’s a good idea. She probably won’t do much for me but we may as well try before my symptoms start to get bad again.”
“I’m glad we’re in agreement. As soon as you’re ready we can leave.”
Ember has enough self awareness to realize that she’s only temporarily stable. With how difficult last time was and how long she was interfaced after, the next time is certain to be worse. She hopes that being in VR helped a little. It was kind of fun. The weeds have probably mapped out other galaxies. She and Verda- No, Ember by herself could explore one. Maybe. For some reason that sounds like a terrible idea. Shaking off the low priority concern, she prepares to go see the Affini neurologist.
- 59
- 60
- 61
You need to be logged in to leave a review for this story.You need to be logged in to leave a review for this story.
Report Story

Cellulose & Steel