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Reckless Abandonment	By : bsoffia Category: Anita Blake > Slash Views: 3414 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own the Anita Blake series, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
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Richard sighed. Jean-Claude had been talking for hours and showed no signs of stopping. The Ulfric needed a brief respite, but the Master of the City was relentless. The Voice was all business tonight and the only thing Richard could do was sit, listen and try to keep his hands to himself. He couldn’t concentrate; all he could think about was being with Jean-Claude… touching him. Loving him.

They were seated across from each other in Jean-Claude's private office at the Circus of the Damned. It was smaller and less extravagant than the office the vampire maintained at Guilty Pleasures, but it was warm and comfortable and more than adequate for his personal needs.

Richard had been in this room more than a dozen times in the past, but he had never paid any attention to his surroundings. He remembered the huge fights they had here; but he couldn’t recall the cream-colored walls or the bookshelves that held hundreds of ancient but pristine volumes. The wolf had no doubt Jean-Claude had read every single book, and it depressed him that his new lover was versed in many subjects he didn’t even know existed.

He glanced at the clock and closed his eyes. They had been discussing pack business for a little more than three hours, and his head swam with all the information Jean-Claude fed him. So many things had happened while he was gone, and he wasn’t sure if he could fix any of them. It would take time and a lot of political maneuvering to get his pack to trust him again.

He thanked God he had Jean-Claude to guide him. Richard knew he couldn’t do it alone; he didn’t even know where to start. He hated politics, but that was one area the vampire excelled at.

Richard opened his eyes when the room went quiet, and found Jean-Claude staring at him.

“Richard? Is everything all right?” Jean-Claude stretched languidly and the wolf gaped at the rippling muscles beneath his shirt.

“No… I mean sure. I’m fine. It’s just a lot to take in at one sitting.” The wolf admitted tiredly.

“Oui. But you have no more time…” Jean-Claude smiled apologetically, reached across the table and stroked his arm.

“I know, I know. Just get on with it so we can move on to more pleasant activities!” Richard growled. His to-do list was impossible and it was getting longer.

He listened as Jean-Claude recounted the minor disagreements within the pack that had escalated to serious problems, but the vampire was quick to assure him that his lieutenants had taken care of it. However, there were several things that required his immediate attention.

Since his disappearance, pack discipline had disintegrated, and several members had gotten into trouble with the law. Most were petty problems like brawling and disturbing the peace, but one young wolf had lost control, transformed in a bar and attacked several humans. He fled the scene and was currently being hunted by St Louis’ finest.

The human community was up in arms over that incident, and every known shape-shifter had been taken in and interrogated by the Regional Preternatural Investigation Team. Pack morale was at an all time low. The culprit had to be found as soon as possible and handed over to the authorities, and only the Ulfric had that kind of power.

And then there were the challengers. Alphas from other packs had come to town and were planning to fight the Ulfric for leadership at the next Lupanar, which was three weeks away. Richard had to regain the pack’s trust and support by then or he didn’t stand a chance.

Jean-Claude paused and allowed the information to sink in. Richard gulped and shook his head. Three weeks wasn’t enough time. It was impossible.

"I had no idea it was this bad," Richard gripped the edge of the table and the wood crumbled in his hands. "I will set this right Jean-Claude, that’s a promise. I just don’t think there’s enough time…"

"We will do it together." Jean-Claude smiled, and it meant the world to the other man. He reached across the table for the vampire’s hand and gave it a soft squeeze. He felt like he could do anything with the Master of the City by his side.

"There is one more thing we need to discuss, mon loup," Jean-Claude pulled his hand back and refused to meet Richard’s eyes. It was obvious the vampire was unhappy about this subject and it filled Richard with dread. He’d thought the challenges to his leadership were the worst thing he’d have to deal with.

"What is it?" He asked warily.

"You must choose a Lupa.” Jean-Claude raised his eyes and looked solemnly at Richard. “Your pack expects you to join with someone soon." The vampire leaned back into his chair and waited for the tirade. It didn’t take long. Once the words sunk in, Richard freaked out.

"I will not now, or ever, replace Anita," He hissed angrily. “How can you, of all people, ask me to do this? What the hell is wrong with you? You lost Anita too. Or have you forgotten her already?" A pained expression crossed Jean-Claude’s face for a second, but Richard saw it. He zipped his mouth and bit his tongue before more hateful words tumbled out.

"I am not asking you to replace ma petite.” Jean-Claude sounded calm and reasonable, but his eyes were stormy. “The fact you can even think this insults me greatly." The vampire’s voice cracked and he took a deep breath. His hands shook.

Richard felt terrible. He hated himself for what he said; he didn’t think and he went too far. His relationship with the Master of the City was fragile enough without his temper getting in the way. He groaned and buried his head in his hands. He didn’t notice when Jean-Claude slid out from behind his desk and glided towards him.

"It is imperative for the future of your pack that you do this. If you want to continue leading them, you have little choice." Jean-Claude rested a hand on his lover’s shoulder, and that one light touch made Richard’s anger melt away. He was left empty inside, and all the pain and regret over Anita’s death returned and consumed him.

"None of them are good enough, Jean-Claude.” He rubbed his burning eyes. “None of them are her." Richard sobbed and slumped forward. He knew Jean-Claude was right, but the thought of a new Lupa made him sick to the stomach. He had barely dealt with Anita’s demise, how the hell was he supposed to find someone else?

Jean-Claude's hands fell on Richard’s shoulders and worked on his tense muscles while he tried to calm his agitated wolf with his voice. "I understand how you feel. I know this will be uncomfortable, but I see no other way.” The vampire wrapped his arms around the wolf and pulled him close.

“You do not have to love your new Lupa; you do not even have to sleep with her, but you have to name her soon. She can help you by taking over some of the responsibilities within the pack. That way you can spend more time with me.” Jean-Claude bent down and nuzzled Richard's neck.

The Ulfric was somewhat placated by those words. Jean-Claude made a lot of sense. A new Lupa did not mean he was replacing Anita, or finding another mate. It could be a purely business arrangement. The new Lupa would be like his assistant. He could handle that. He swiveled his chair around so he could look at Jean-Claude.

"I'll do it because I have to, not because I want to," Richard said grudgingly. He was drained and there was no fight left in him.

"That is all that I ask, mon loup." Jean-Claude lowered his head and kissed the wolf affectionately. Richard’s worries vanished the moment their lips met. The kiss deepened, and before long, they were eating at each other’s mouths.

Richard tugged at Jean-Claude’s shirt and whimpered when the vampire disengaged and grabbed his wrists. "How come your kiss does that to me every time?" He struggled playfully with his lover. He broke free and hugged Jean-Claude. "It’s like we’re inside each other. It feels so good, it’s almost frightening.”

"We are bound very closely, mon loup, and any contact between us will have a profound effect." Jean-Claude whispered as his lips moved sensuously against Richard’s ear. "We are destined to be together, you and I, but you could never see that… or you refused to see it. Truth be told, I never dreamed you would come to me, but I am glad you did."

Richard accepted that explanation; it sounded so right. He had felt connected to Jean-Claude from the very beginning, but fear, jealousy and squeamishness made him shy away from the other man. In doing so, he had weakened them both.

“I’ve been blind for so long," Richard murmured as he planted a light kiss on the vampire’s neck. "I’ve loved you forever, but I couldn’t accept it. I mean, being with another man was unthinkable. I was raised believing it was sick and depraved. So I rejected you and treated you horribly every chance I got. The things I’ve said… Can you ever forgive me?" He buried his head in the vampire’s chest, glad Jean-Claude couldn’t see his face.

Jean-Claude caressed his hair, smiled and stepped back. "You do not need to ask my forgiveness, mon loup. That is all in the past. Let us be grateful we have finally found one other. I am very pleased you returned to me in one piece. I was concerned you would hurt yourself."

The Ulfric snorted. Hurt himself? That was an understatement. He would be dead if Jean-Claude hadn’t taken him in and given him a reason to live. Even then, Richard wasn’t sure he was in one piece, but he was where he wanted to be and he had no intention of leaving again anytime soon. He tried to pull Jean-Claude closer and frowned when the vampire didn’t budge.

"You must be hungry, mon loup.” The Master of the City was distracted by the clock on the wall. “When was the last time you had something to eat?"

"It’s been a while," Richard admitted sheepishly. He hadn’t had anything since his late breakfast and he was starving.

"There is food in the kitchen, or would you prefer take out?" The vampire took his hand and led him to the door.

"I’ll be fine." Richard frowned again. He was being dismissed. And then he remembered Jean-Claude had other plans for tonight. Jason and the private striptease, followed by lots and lots of sex. He cringed inside and his heart clenched painfully. The thought of Jason alone with his Jean-Claude made him both angry and depressed.

Richard was working furiously on a plan to keep the Master of the City with him when Jason and Nathaniel bounded into the room. They were laughing and talking to each other. He fumed silently when Jason and Jean-Claude gazed into each other’s eyes and shared a private moment.

"Did we interrupt?" The young wolf asked. Richard resisted the urge to shove the young men out of the room and lock the door behind them; he knew Jean-Claude wouldn’t approve. He would have to be tactful in front of his vampire. Jason would be dealt with in the morning, when Jean-Claude wasn’t there to protect him.

"Await me in my chambers, mon pomme. I shall be with you shortly," Jean-Claude gave the young wolf a smile that broke Richard’s heart. Jason grabbed Nathaniel’s hand and dragged him out the door.

“I was hoping we could be alone tonight,” Richard smiled shyly as he moved to Jean-Claude’s side and curled his arm around the vampire’s slender waist.

“I need you… I don’t want to be alone.” It was a calculated risk on Richard’s part; his confession rendered him so vulnerable, and he prayed it would be enough to make his lover stay. But Jean-Claude’s next words crushed him.

“We will have many nights together, mon loup.” Jean-Claude chuckled; he didn’t appear to notice Richard’s distress. “For now, you require nourishment and plenty of rest. You have to be at full strength when you meet your pack tomorrow. They will accept nothing less from their rightful Ulfric.”

Richard sighed. His appetite was gone and he felt like throwing up. He tortured himself with images of Jean-Claude and Jason naked together; he knew what would happen after the striptease. He wished he had a clue what to do to keep the Master of the City with him.

Jean-Claude glided gracefully to the door. Richard grabbed his hand before he exited the room.

“Wait. Please. I don’t want you to leave me…” he whispered.

“I made a promise to Jason, Richard, and I do not break my promises. I will see you this evening. Je taime.” Jean-Claude gave him a quick kiss and vanished before he could protest.
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Reckless Abandonment