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Demon Song	By : TheBlindQueen Category: Twilight Series > AU/AR > Het > Het Views: 1989 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or make any money from this story.

Chapter List
- 6
- 7
**************Chapter 7: Dream Weaver*****************

I sat on a rock overlooking the river. It was just after midnight and the moon lent its silvery grace to the gentle swells of water. I remembered sitting on this same rock seventy years ago, thinking. Always thinking, as Emmet would say. My thoughts had been more tranquil then, and of course there had been no Bella Swan to make my throat burn and my hands ache with the need to touch her. Alice’s thoughts were subdued as she came to sit down beside me. She took one of my hands in hers and we sat there in companionable silence for a while.

“Edward,” she finally said. “I think you should…try…to be near Bella.” She shook her head. “You won’t be happy without her.”

My head whipped around and I stared at her, my mouth hanging open. She had said the words without thinking them first, so she caught me off guard. Alice was good at that. She smirked at the expression on my face, finding amusement in her ability to surprise me. Even now. Even when my world seemed about to shatter.

“I can’t allow myself to be happy with her either.” My voice was strained with longing, because her words seemed to give me permission to do what I wanted most. “You know I can’t. It’s too dangerous.” Both of my desires for Bella could only end up hurting her, killing her. I wanted what I should not want, what I could not have. Surely I could find enough human remnants inside of me to do what was right, what was decent.

Alice sighed and leaned her head on my shoulder. “Listen to me, big brother,” she said softly. “I’ve gotten a peek at the future.”

“Yes, I saw,” I reminded her. I had seen where my desire for Bella would lead. Did she think I had forgotten how dangerous I was to Bella, more perilous to her than any other human walking the earth?

Shaking her head, Alice moved so that our eyes met. “No, not just that,” she said, her voice turning hard as she recalled the visions too. Bella, lifeless in my arms. God. Please. No. Don’t let me destroy her. Alice frowned, her dark brows drawing together and her mouth tightening. “I think…I think it’s too late to NOT be in Bella’s life, Edward.”

“No, it’s not,” I assured her. Then I recalled that I had already asked Bella to show me around Port Angeles. So much for avoiding her. I seemed to be doing everything I could to push myself into her life.

“You can fight it, Edward,” Alice said skeptically. “But it’s going to happen. You’re going to be a part of Bella’s future.”

I hated the joy that surged within me at Alice’s words. “I…I can’t do that to her, Alice.” I could not take away her life, either by drinking her blood or by condemning her to this strange existence I led. I would not take away her soul.

Alice was silent for a moment. “You know, when Jasper finally showed up in that diner, when he finally touched me for the first time, putting his hand in mine, I felt…” She stopped and smiled, giving a half-smile. “I felt as if I’d finally found myself, finally put the two halves of me together.”

“I can’t feel that way for Bella,” I said in a low voice. “She’s not one of us. I can’t…I can’t be with her that way. It’s not fair – or safe for her.”

Alice continued as if he had not spoken. “In all the years I’ve known you, I’ve never seen you give a female a second glance.” She leaned against him and squeezed his arm. “Not once. Even when they’ve practically thrown themselves at you. Vampire or human, they didn’t even make a blip on the radar as far as you were concerned.” Alice laughed softly then. “Emmett even asked me once if you were gay.”

I had known that, of course. I had heard the curious speculations in his head. And others. My refusal of feminine companionship from my own kind had generated some gossip over the years. Esme had once tried to let me know that they would support my choice, even if I preferred the company of males. She hated to see me alone, and my solitude had worried her as only a mother could worry. But I knew the real reason I had walked away from those offers.

They simply didn’t touch me, did not make me yearn for what they could give me. I could look at them and admire their beauty objectively; I could appreciate it, but I did not want to possess it in any way. I might have felt the same looking at a sculpture or a beautiful painting. I had finally come to the conclusion that those things would be forever beyond my desire. I simply did not care enough to make the effort. I had no need to feel close to someone like that, and if I was sometimes struck by a yearning to be more than alone, I buried it beneath pursuits that satisfied me in another way.

Then I had seen Bella Swan. Her blood had called to me; her quiet beauty had intrigued me. And suddenly, for the first time in a hundred years, I WANTED.

I yearned for her, and I burned. Not just the terrible thirst that raged through my body, but this nameless new hunger that tugged at my body. Very human appetites had been roused to life. I felt the ancient male urge to claim, to possess the female who had inspired such hunger within me. Never before had I felt this strange urge to touch, to caress, to kiss and –

“It won’t work, Alice,” I said, cutting off the image.

“Edward, if anyone can be close to a human, it’s you,” Alice said with too much certainty in her voice.

“She’s smart, Alice,” I hissed. “Don’t you think she’d figure out that I was…different?”

“Don’t underestimate her,” Alice warned. “She looks delicate and fragile, but she’s not. Not really.”

“I can’t,” I repeated.

Alice sighed and got to her feet. “Sulk if you want, Edward. Resist and brood and pout, but it won’t change a thing.” She sounded impatient now.

“It doesn’t have to be like that.”

She leaned down and kissed the top of my head, all compassion now. “All right,” she soothed. “Fight it, Edward. Fight it until you’re exhausted and worn out, and then you’ll see that I’m right.”

“Go away,” I snapped.

Her trilling laugh filled the air. “Bella isn’t going anywhere, Edward.” She ran from me then, but over her shoulder I heard her call out, “She’s waiting for you!”

And my body stiffened at that thought.

~~~~~~~~~~

It was not difficult to find Chief Swan’s house. Bella’s scent led the way like a beacon, illuminating the path. Should it worry me that already her scent was the most dominant olfactory memory in my head? Probably, but as I scaled the wall of her house I could not bemoan that fact.

It did not surprise me when I looked in the window and saw Bella sleeping. Her scent was strongest here, a siren song that could only be denied so long. Even as I told myself I was a fool, I slid the window open, cringing at the sound it made.

But Bella slept on, peaceful and unaware.

I sat down in an old rocker, letting my eyes drink their fill as I could not usually do. She seemed to get more beautiful as I watched her. Her lips were gently parted, seeming to invite me closer, to invite me IN. I shuddered, feeling that strange yearning tension fill my body.

I wanted Bella Swan.

I wanted her in every way. I fought the urge to slide beneath the covers that sheltered her, to draw her into my embrace. I struggled against the desire to let my lips explore hers, to press our bodies together. Those long-unfelt yearnings gathered in the pit of my belly, and then coiled lower. I was not immune to such longings after all.

My hips jolted as that desire surged and welled up.

I groaned, knowing that the images which now danced in my mind would not be easily banished. I closed my eyes and surrendered to the fantasies, if only in my head.

Bella’s dark hair spread out on a pillow, her arms pulling me close, her slim body rocking against mine, the incredible warmth that awaited me when I finally thrust inside of her. I waited for the thirst to make itself known.

And waited, my body still humming with unrequited need.

The hours passed and I did not take my eyes from her. I endured the discomfort of my desire, fanned it with impossible fantasies.

And still the thirst was kept at bay.

By what, I was not sure.

My throat still burned. The venom still flowed. But I could no longer imagine the velvet spill of her blood rushing down my throat. Instead, I thought of the soft, warm weight of her breasts in my hands, the points of her peaked nipples digging into my palms, the scent of her arousal slamming into my senses as I parted her pale thighs and worshipped her with my mouth.

Useless. Impossible. But I still reveled in them, knowing that I would never get any closer to making them a reality.

Fantasies that tortured and intrigued me, I willingly embraced the pain.

If this was all I would have of Bella Swan, then I would take that. As long as she was safe, my own suffering meant nothing.

I watched. I dreamed. I hungered.

And Bella slept on.
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Demon Song