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Kin and Kindred	By : fusedtwilight Category: Twilight Series > General Views: 4036 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
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Kin and Kindred

Chapter 7

Fusedtwilight: Thanks to animegirlkiki for betaing, thanks to miko and uchiha mikomi, I am glad u liked last chapter. I was in a real dark mood when I wrote it. Good thing, I think I captured that scene great!

Jack P.O.V

We arrived back to the house.

Everyone was there. Waiting for us. I didn’t bother trying to answer any questions; I went straight to my room. I could hear raised voices but I ignored them.

Alice followed me up to my room. She sat down and kept an eye on me. I kept my back turned towards her not caring what she was doing.

I sat in my bed and curled into a ball. I felt…nothing. I felt no sorrow, no guilt, no anger, nor nothing. I just felt like I was…numb I guess. It was like my head was full of static. I was getting a great big nothing. Was it a vampire thing? Was this what a vampire feels when they kill someone? A great big nothing where most people will feel something?I don’t think it is. When I hunt animals I feel a savage anticipation, I wild joy at the violence, the blood shed. There was no void, no black hole. Just a sense of self satisfaction at the successful hunt.

And when I…did what I did. There was a joy there. A desire to feed, to keep on feeding until there is nothing left to feed on. The same desire I felt for blood. Once you dig your teeth into flesh, once that first drop of blood hits your tongue you keep on going. There is no stopping. All pretenses of humanity and civilization evaporate and the beast takes control and you keep on going. No matter what.

I remember who her skin wrinkled and dried, how her hair became brittle and straw like. How her eyes became white like milk. The entire time she screamed but no sound came out. Soon her eyes disappeared, melted into her head; her hair was brittle and broke easily, her skin hung tight to her bones.

Then she just turned to dust.

It was still so clear in my mind. Vampires have a better memory then humans. The image of her dying would haunt me for the rest of my eternal life. It would be there when I watched TV; it would be there when I played my games or when I was with the last memory of my mother would not be one of joy or happiness but one of something from a nightmare. It would be the last reminder I had of her. That and the thrill I had sucking the life from her.-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Jasper P.O.V

Jack went straight up to his room. I let him go. We shooed Seth and his friends out saying everything was fine that it was a new born thing.

Of course we weren’t going to say he killed his mother. That would open a whole new can of worms. The treaty says if we drink human blood all bets are off. Does draining a person of their life force count?

We all sat down and I explained what happened. By the time I was done a stunned silence filled the air.

“I thought he was a healer,” Rose said. “Since when are healers capable of killing someone?”

“Obviously he is capable of more then just healing.” Carlisle said running his hand through his hair.

“But what did he do? I mean how does he turn someone to dust?” Emmett asked.

“There was some kind of energy transference,” Edward said. “He was healing her but it made him hungry. Then his anger got the best of him and the energy reversed and he sucked it out of her until she was turned to dust.”

“What was it like for him?” Bella asked.

“Thrilling, a rush, better then blood.”

“I meant emotionally.”

“He is in shock right now. He won’t let anyone touch him right now. He freaks out if you get too close,” I said.

“The poor thing,” Esme said. “Bad enough he had to get dragged into all of this, then right when things were looking good for him then this happens.”

I felt guilt hit me like a sludge hammer. All this misery Jack was going through is my fault. I tried my best to keep him safe, to keep him happy. But yet it seems like God or fate or some higher power is hell bent on giving him load after load of angst.

Even his power which once seemed benign was showing a dark side. A side that could cause more complications then can be counted. What if he throws one of his fits and accidentally kills one of us?

What if this power causes him to become addicted to peoples life energy? The thought of him running around leeching off of people until they are reduced to dust made me sick.“What are we going to tell the wolves?” Rose asked. “If they catch wind of her house burning down they will know. Jack runs off and in the same day his mom dies? You know they will be suspicious…”

“Maybe we should tell Jake,” Bella said. “He might now how to handle this.”

“If Sam finds out Jack killed his mother he might see it as a breech of the treaty,” I said.

“But the treaty says we can’t drink human blood or enter their territory.” Esme said.

“That didn’t stop him when Bella was having Nessie.” Rose said.

“Maybe we should just move him out of here,” Emmett said. “Get him away from the wolves, I mean we are going to be leaving soon anyway. We can take him up to Alaska where he can be isolated from humans and be trained how to control this power of his.”

“That does sound like a good idea,” Esme said.

“Eleazar is already on his way,” Carlisle said. “We can run it by him first. Before we move him we should give him time to mourn. We can also use it to study his power, find out exactly what we are dealing with.”

I got up and decided to check up on Jack. The others didn’t stop me; they knew where I was going. I walked up to his room. The door was open and I walked in. Jack sat on his bed, curled into a ball.

It was so sad to see him like this. I was so used to see him as the tough little guy with his sharp tongue and sharp wit. Now to see him huddled up on the bed, so vulnerable, so child like. All I was getting from his was that cloud of nothing. You’d think vampires wouldn’t be able to go into shock, but it happens. Rarely, but still it does.

I walked over to Alice who was sitting down. “How is he?” I asked.

“Catatonic. He doesn’t respond to anything I say. I don’t like his mind set right now Jazz. One minute he’s thinking about running away and becoming a wild vampire the next he is thinking about going to La Push and provoking the wolves.”

I didn’t like that. The fact he was considering suicide and I was still getting nothing from him was not good at all.

I walked over and sat down next to him. He shied away from me. “Did I ever tell you how I became a vampire?” I asked. He did not respond, he just continued to stare at nothing.I told him my story. Of when I joined the army, of when I met Maria, of becoming a vampire, helping Maria fight in the wars, training new borns, killing new borns, Peter and Charlotte, living with them, my depression, meeting Alice, then the Cullens.

“I know what you’re going through,” I said. “Every day I live with what I did. I didn’t just kill people, I turned them into monsters, and I treated them like they were just items, trash to be tossed away once they had out lasted their use. I killed a lot of people. Humans and vampires. I know what it feels like, how it changes you.”

He didn’t say anything. I felt that white out that was his emotions begin to falter. “How do you do it?” he asked. “How do you live knowing what you did?”

“I have Alice, I have my family. I keep going because I have to. I can’t change the past. Maybe I can never atone for what I did. But I keep going because I want to change, because I don’t want to be a monster anymore. Maybe then I can find some peace to what I have done...”

“It doesn’t get easy does it? They lie when they say time heals all wounds.”

“Yeah they lie,” I said.

“I don’t know if I can this Jasper. I don’t know if I can live after this.”

“You have to live Jack, you don’t have a choice.”

“You always have a choice Jasper.” he said.

“Killing yourself won’t solve the problem,” I said.

“No but it will make the pain stop.”

What was I supposed to say to that? His shock was starting to fade. The heavy emotions were beginning to leak through.

“You can’t give up Jack, what happened was an unfortunate accident, it shouldn’t have happened but it did. We need to move forward, giving up is not an option I will let you take.”

He looked at me and there was no anger in his eyes. They were blank empty. Apathy and indifference were coming off him. “You won’t let me? That’s rich. You couldn’t even stop me from killing my mother, how can you stop me from offing myself.”

“I can stay with you every second of every day; I can watch you, make sure you don’t do something stupid, like go to La Push and provoke the wolves.”

He rolled over on his other side ignoring me. I put my hand on his head and he jumped like I had hit him.

“Do you have a death wish!” he demanded glaring at me.

“You’re not going to kill me with one touch Jack.” I said.

“Tell that to my mom!”

“Your power is double sided; you can kill and heal as well. Think of all the people you can save with your power.”

“Shut up! I know what you’re trying to do! You’re trying to guilt trip me into wanting to live! Well it isn’t going to work!”

“I’m only trying to make you see reason, killing yourself wont bring her back, it wont make things right. All you can do is live and try to find peace.”

“Death is pretty fucking peaceful.” he said.

“I’m not going to let you die Jack,” I said.

“What do you care? You regret turning me, why not just say fuck it and put me out of my misery?”

“Because I don’t want you to die. I want you to be happy.”

“Don’t you get it? I can’t be happy like this. I am stuck as a twelve year old for the rest of my life! I can’t go to clubs with you and the others, I can’t drive a car of any kind, I can’t do any of the things you and the others can! Now I have to live with the memory that I killed my mother! I killed her and I loved it Jasper! I’m a fucking monster!”

“You’re not the first vampire to enjoy killing someone. You think I didn’t love drinking people’s blood? Even when I felt their fear and terror I pushed that aside because the love I felt for that blood over rode my feelings of guilt or remorse.”

I grabbed his arms, just below his wrists so I didn’t touch his skin. He fought me. Before he could throw me off I poured my emotions into him. I remembered all the lives I took; I remembered the guilt, the frustration, the hopelessness.

“What are you doing?” he asked.

“This is what I deal with every day. I killed hundreds Jack. Hundreds. I have to deal with that every day. If I can do it, you can do it.”

He shook me off. “You bastard, I killed my mother! That’s worse then killing a million people!”

“But you regret it! Don’t you see! Monsters don’t feel guilt, monsters don’t feel remorse, monsters don’t feel regret! You feel all those things! You are not a monster!”

His face bawled up. “Then why do I feel like one?”

“Because you’re a good person, and good people always feel bad when they do something bad,” I said.

He leaned forward and I wrapped him in a hug. I remembered simpler times when all I had to do was train a vampire then kill them when they were no longer vampires was easy; raising them was the hard part.-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“He needs to be destroyed!” Sam said.

Rosalie’s prediction had come true. Sam had quickly put two and two together when he saw the news. He quickly called Jake and we told Jake what happened and Jake told Sam the situation.

Sam was feeling no sympathy for Jack. He returned with Jared and Paul, this time Jake was here with Quil and Embry as we argued over the situation.

“He is only twelve Sam,” Jake said.

“He’s a vampire Jake. He killed his own mother!” Sam said.

“That was an accident,” I said. “We had no idea he was capable of doing that, we thought he was just a healer.”

“He shouldn’t have been there in the first place!”

“He’s a kid he missed his mom!” Emmett said.

“Yeah missed her to death,” Paul said.

“Shut up Paul!” Jake said.

“I don’t care if it was an accident or not, this just proves you are all obviously unable to look after him. First he runs into our territory and hurts Brady, now he kills his mother; he needs to be put down now before he kills again.” Sam said.

“He’s a person, not a dog!” I argued.

“He is a wild animal and a danger to those around him,” Sam said.

“That’s the kettle calling the pot black.” We turned and saw Jack leaning against the door. Alice was right behind him.

“I tried to stop him but he was insistent.” she said.

“Well if there is going to be a discussion on whether I am going to be killed or not shouldn’t I be present?” he asked.

He walked in and sat down next to me. His mood was completely different now. No longer was he numb but some of his old self had come back. There was a greater sense of guilt and shame now.

“Now I believe you were saying I should be killed?”

“You killed a human,” Sam said.

“I killed my mother, I didn’t do it on purpose but I still did it. Believe me I thought about pissing you guys off and ending it all.” his eyes were sad. Then he looked at Sam and there was a stern look in them. “Then I realized I’m glad the bitch is dead.”

“Jack!” I said shocked.

“Its true, my entire life she made it hell. All the moving around, all the drinking, all the fucking mental and physical abuse. She got what she deserved.”

The wolves were looking at him with narrowed eyes.

“I admit I wad really torn up at first about the whole thing at first, and then I realized I am free! I mean she was already dying when I called her; she drank so much her liver was failing her. She would have died any way so why cry about it?”

“She was your mother you inhuman freak!” Paul growled.

“In name only.”

“That doesn’t change the fact you murdered an innocent human!” Sam said.

“Not on purpose, I was trying to heal her when my power got dark and creepy,” he said.

“That still doesn’t change the fact you killed a human and have no remorse for it.”

“I’ve shed enough tears over that woman in my human life. Why should I shed one more tear for her?”

“She was your mother,” Jared said scowling at him. “She raised you, she took care of you.”

“She abused me, she beat me, she put me down, she moved me around all over the place, and she drank enough alcohol to put down an elephant.” he said looking at his finger nails.

“What’s wrong with you? Where’s you sense of compassion?” Sam asked.

“No where you can get at it,” he said.

“You’re a soulless, blood sucking monster!” Paul growled.

“Am I bothered?”

“What?”

“Do I look bothered?”

“What?”

“Does my face look bothered?” he asked pointing his finger at his face which looked bored.

“Don’t you start again you lit-”

“Do you wax your chest?”

“What?”

“Do you wax your chest? You look like a reject from 300.”

“You little-”

“Face.”

“Stop-”

“Bothered.”

“I will-”

“Face.”

“Stop th-”

“Bothered.”

“Don’t you-”

“I aint! BOTHERED!” he shouted.

Paul was shaking now. I worked my magic and began to try and temper the mood. Once again I was amazed by Jack and his power to enrage others.

“You’re fucking dead!”

Jack stood up. Not in anger but all calm like. “Go ahead, try and kill me.” he spread his hands and smiled. “Let’s see what happens when you touch me. See how long it takes for me to turn you into dust as well.”

His smile was both vicious and antagonizing. “Enough!” I said grabbing his arm.

“Okay.” he sat back down without a fuss.

“I will call a meeting with the elders Jake. This can’t go unpunished,” Sam said.

“I am not thrilled by what happened either Sam. But I can not approve of killing him. I believe it was an accident and I believe…..despite what he says he does feel bad about what happened.”

“Whatever.” I nudged his shoulder.

“I will go to the elders too, we will have a meeting and work something out.”

“Whatever Jake.” Sam turned to leave.

“Bye, don’t let the door hit your ass on the way out,” Jack said.--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Jack P.O.V

I was in my room. I was putting dead butterflies in a case. Most people put pins in them but I can’t do that. I prefer to put tape around the wings. Call me weird but I don’t like impaling them with needles, it seems wrong.

Alice came walking in. “Hey Jack.”

“Hey,” I said. “Where is Jasper?” I asked.

“Seeing off Peter and Charlotte. Listen Jack…I’m sorry. If it wasn’t for me none of this would have happened.”

“Don’t,” I said.

“If I had been paying more attention Jasper would have never bit you, if I had never lied to you, you wouldn’t have went to go see your mom.”

“Shut up!” I growled at her. “I’m glad she’s dead! I meant every word I said, she got what she had coming! My only regret is that she didn’t die sooner. Maybe then I would be with a nice happy family right now and have a real life.”

I got up and went past her. I walked away and stepped outside. I took a deep breath in then out. I looked around checking to make sure I was alone. Then in private, where no one could see I cried.

I was a fucking liar. Edward and Jasper knew. How could they not. Jasper was right about one thing. I had to move forward. I had to keep on going. There was no other choice. I had killed my mother, it would haunt me for the rest of my days. But I would not die. I would not let her drag me into death with her.

So I would take my shame, take my guilt and all those other negative ass emotions and I would bury them. Bury them so deep not even Jasper would sense them. Because my only other option would be to be over whelmed by those emotions.

If Jasper can go on after all these years dealing with killing so many people why can’t I live with killing one?

I needed to get out of the house. I went back to the garden and found Esme there. She was humming softly to herself as she worked in her garden. “Hello Jack,” she said as she saw me.

“Hey. Mind if I join you?” I asked.

“Of course not.” she scooted over and I sat beside her.

“What are you doing?” I asked.

“Making room for some new plants. My old ones died.”

A small patch of flowers sat together. They were withering and losing their color. I touched them and when I did my power activated. I could since them. They were so sick. Dying. I could feel them fading.

I closed my eyes and imagined them as they should be. Vibrant, healthy, bursting with life. I felt the warmth gather in my hands. I felt the energy transfer into the plants. I didn’t get hungry this time.

I opened my eyes and watched as the plants regained their color, watched as the leaves uncurled and blossomed again.

“Jack, this is amazing!” Esme said. She kissed me on my head. I felt a warm sensation flow through me. It wasn’t me sucking on her life it was the warmth you get when you do something good and someone congratulates you for it.

“I don’t feel hungry. Why don’t I feel hungry?” I asked her.

“What do you mean?”

“When I killed my mom, I was healing her, the more I healed her the hungrier I got. Then my anger and hunger took over and…and I killed her.”

Esme took my face and brought it to her bosom. She ran her hands through my hair. “You poor thing. You have been through so much. But you’re not alone. You have us, what ever you’re going through we’ll be here for you.”

I wrapped my arms around her and hugged her. Normally I am cynical as hell. But right now I felt loved and safe.

“It will be okay,” she said. “Eleazar will be here soon and we will know how your power works.”

“It’s not just my power. How am I supposed to go on Esme? I can’t her out of my head,” I said.

“Were here for you Jack, if ever you want to talk come to us. We’ll listen to you, all we want is for you to be happy,” she said gently. “Don’t hold it in Jack. I had abusive parents and an abusive husband. I know what its like to keep it all bottled in. That’s not good, you need to find a way to let it all out.”

“I’m afraid, if I let it out someone will get hurt.”

“Don’t be, just let it all out. We all have a story Jack, we all know what its like to lose someone. Don’t be afraid to talk to us.”

She kissed me on my head again and I hugged her tightly. I was being a baby I know. But some part of me craved this kind of love, the love of a mother.

I kissed her on the cheek and she smiled. I quickly ran back inside the house. I found Alice in her room. She was with Jasper. They looked at me surprised. I ran up to Alice and hugged her.

“I’m sorry for being such a dick,” I said.

She hugged me back. “Its okay, I’m sorry I messed up your life.”

“You didn’t ruin my life…Jasper did.” I heard Jasper move behind me uncomfortably. “Kidding Jasper.” I said.

He laughed and I felt him move closer and soon I was sandwiched between him and Alice in a hug. “That wasn’t an invitation,” I said

He quickly let go. “Sorry.”

Fusedtwilight: Next chap Eleazar pops up and we learn how his power works. Please review.
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Kin and Kindred