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.Vaudevilliput: Story in 10 acts (& Intermission)	By : keithcompany Category: Titles in the Public Domain > Gulliver's Travels Views: 1437 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: This is a work fiction,based on Gullivers Travels by Jonathan Swift.

Chapter List
- 7
- 8
- 9
Aleeta the Amazing opened Act 8 on a stage with a simple arch on the floor. The arch was about 7 feet tall.
Aleeta walked out from behind it, dressed as a magician rather than a stage hand this time, dragging two parakeet ladders. She set one down and stood the other up. It leaned upon nothing and stayed. She nonchalantly lifted the second one and climbed the first. Then she hung the second ladder, apparently from thin air. She alternated between the two ladders, climbing one, lifting the other, like Baron Munchausen in the old tale. She just made it to the top of the arch, reaching to the wooden frame, when she paused.
“Oh, wait. This is impossible!” Like a spell broken, the two ladders dropped to the floor with a clatter. Aleeta hung from the arch, stockinged legs pumping slightly.
She reached up to kick a foot at the bottom of the arch and a string fell down. She grabbed it. It was connected to a rolled up sheet of plastic that came down with her weight like a movie screen in a classroom. It was as wide as the arch and when she reached the floor, it was as tall.
It was clear, but she gave the bottom bar a shake and it turned opaque blue. The pigment or tint seemed to follow the wave of her shake upwards to the top.
Another shake and it was clear again. One more for pink, then the final shake for clear. This time, when it went clear, the assistant Dorothy was standing behind it.
Aleeta let go of the plastic, which retracted to the top, and Dorothy wheeled the arch off stage.
While she was gone, the Amazing took up the two ladders, stood them against each other in an A-shape. A napkin from inside her shirt pocket unfolded a dozen times or so to become a tarp big enough to cover the frame. A few mystical words later, she yanked it back to reveal a pair of parakeets under the ladders.
By this time, Dorothy returned, pushing a cart with a blender atop it. Next to the blender was a large, red button with an ominous bullseye painted on it. She took the parakeets on her fingers and removed them.
The magician from the earlier act came out, dressed to match Dorothy. She held French Fries in a cardboard box from a popular local fast food. Aleeta was lifted to the top of the cart, where she selected a fry.
Her little top hat was upended and she lowered the fry into it. It went about halfway, then popped out.
She did it again. Got it three quarters of the way in and it popped halfway out.
One more attempt fully secured the fry inside the top hat. She waved the wand once, twice, three times…and the hat exploded. A full Idaho baking potato burst out of the thing, knocking Aleeta on her ass.
With a smile, the assistant lifted the potato and poked, prodded and pierced it to show it was real. Then she put it in the blender, which was half filled with water.
Dorothy had just reached the cart, pushing another cart that had a pendulum on it. They moved the red button and its stand to the other cart, centered under the pivot arm of the pendulum.
Dorothy started the pendulum swinging in a circle with a tiny shove. When it slowed down and returned to center, it tapped the red button, which turned on the blender. It went into a frenzy, and in seconds had reduced the spud to a very thin potato soup.
Dorothy poured the glop out, and refilled the blender with water, to the top this time. Aleeta jumped between the carts to stand by the switch. The other assistant produced a roll of duct tape.
Aleeta shouted out to the theatre: “And now, I would like an assistant from the audience, please.” Everyone was looking at me.
Well, in for a penny…
I stepped quickly to the stage and up to the cart. Dorothy handed me the tape.
“Are you familiar with duct tape, sir?” Aleeta asked.
“Yes.”
“Of course you are, all manly men in America are. Would you say that this was an authentic roll of duct tape?”
“Yeah, looks right, feels right. It’s real.”
“Excellent. Now, would you please rip off about a foot of it?” The classic ripping sound accompanied my removal of a length of tape from the roll. It felt very real. She continued: “Wonderful. Now, would you wrap that tightly around me?”
The only other times I’d touched a Lilliputian was to stick out my finger and pretend to shake hands with them. Mummifying a tiny, shapely woman in adhesive tape was a unique experience. She kept encouraging me not to be too gentle, to make it tight, so I did. When only her head showed above the silver, and her shoes below, she nodded, thanked me, and dismissed me from the stage.
Back in my seat, I watched as one assistant held her over the water-filled blender, the other held the pendulum ready. She said ‘NOW!’ and they both let go.
Aleeta wriggled and squirmed as she sank to the blades at the bottom, tiny little bubbles rising. The pendulum swung widely around, but ever closer to the button. Amazingly enough, she actually got one arm free, and pushed up the glass enough to grab a breath of air. She sank again, furiously wriggling. A shoe came loose from her foot and floated up past her head.
She had both arms free and looked like she was trapped in a sleeping bag of doom when the swinging arm hit the activator. A froth of water obscured the view of the magician. We waited tensely as Dorothy reached out to steady the pendulum and the other turned off the blender.
Bubbles rose, shredded bits of tape floated, the shoe rose again….then the pendulum weight burst open and a dripping wet woman in a disheveled tuxedo popped out.
She punched the activator and the blender frothed again. This time, scads of suds rose out of it, and within seconds the stage was covered with foam. When it sank, the performers and their equipment were gone.
“What do you think?” Jeenedi asked.
“I loved it,” I told her, then realized that it wasn’t Jeenedi. Aleeta was standing on my notepad, still dripping. No wet footprints showed in any direction around her.
I raised my hands and slowly clapped. Then I reached out and wiped a curd of foam out of her hair.
“Are you going to use a shill on The Night?” I finally asked.
“Oh, yeah,” she replied. “There’s only so many men I want manhandling me on stage.” I started to nod but she went on. “Of course, off stage is a different matter,” she finished with a smile and a wink. Then she turned and dripped her way to the edge of the desk. Her assistants waited, with smiles of their own. I love my job.
I completely missed the segue, but looked up when the other performers in the seats broke out laughing. A man in a magician’s costume had evidently had problems sawing a mouse in half. The mouse that played the head end had crawled away and the foot end was eating the box.
“You did it right in rehearsal!” he shouted at the rodents.
- 7
- 8
- 9
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.Vaudevilliput: Story in 10 acts (& Intermission)