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Peter Pan and Me	By : Neckar Category: M through R > Peter Pan Views: 3675 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Peter Pan, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
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CHAPTER 11: TROUBLE THAT CAN'T BE NAMED

Boy I sure got into more trouble than I'm worth. Maybe that's why Peter
liked me so. It kept him busy rescuing me. The pirates, merboys, the
monster men, and now more pirates. I really stepped into it this time and
every other time. Maybe it got him into adventures he wouldn't normally
get into so that's why he kept me around. I'm so stupid sometimes.

Peter and one of our little lost boys, the Asian one, Aoi, were picking
bananas as they flew high up on the huge banana trees. Aoi had on a fur
loin cloth and leather boots. None of the lost boys were allowed to dress
like Peter. Aoi also had a bow and arrow on his back. Peter flipped over
a branch of the impossibly huge tree and grabbed a whole handful of
bananas and threw them to Aoi, who was nearly bowled out of the sky.
"Hey, Peter, cut that out!"

"Ahhhhh ha ha, that's the only way to get more bananas than you can
handle!"

Aoi gained momentum as he struggled to stay in the sky. ""That's not
gonna help us get more food!"

"Who needs real food anyway when we have so much pretend food!" Peter
smiled and flew at him and took the bananas from him.

Aoi straightened his pointed brown cap. "You are so annoying, father."

"Aoi, I...I'm not really your father, am I? I...it's just pretending
isn't it?"

"Of course, it's your game...or is this a trick...of yours to make me
drop the game and then you can spank me?"

"Oh no, nothing like that, my good little son."

"Can we go home now?" Aoi asked.

"Just a few more..." Suddenly they heard the snapping of branches.
"Hide." Peter saw the reason.

It was a pirate. A tall big blond one. Not as dirty as the others. He was
walking through the woods. Aoi took out his bow and put an arrow in it
and was ready to let fly. Peter grabbed the arrow, "Wait, no."

"Whaa? Why?"

"It would be bad form. Don't you see that?" Peter pointed.

The pirate was carrying a white flag. Sure it had skull and crossbones on
it but it was a white flag. "Oh Pan boys, come hither...."

Peter looked at Aoi, "Come hither?" They laughed. "Let's land and see
what the big lummox wants."

"Truce? Peace? Here I am. I have brought word from Captain Hook to
you...."

Peter flew fast from the sky, leaving Aoi behind but soon the Asian boy
landed next to him with a crunch of leaves. Peter rolled his eyes, "I've
taught you to land quietly..."

"I know!"

"Don't raise your voice to me!" Peter turned and hit Aoi's tophead. His
hair smattered.

They were far enough away from the pirate to be safe. The jungle was lush
here and most of Neverland was compact so there would not be too much
time between adventures. Aoi yelled, "Come no further!" He still had
his bow and arrow ready.

Wanting to be the only one to take charge, Peter rolled his eyes, "I say
man, stop, or be responsible for what I do to thee."

"I am Django," the blond said, his long locks and blue eyes not lost on
Peter.

"What does Captain Codfish want?"

"He has your friend, the one you call Chase?"

"Chase?"

"Yes and he will slowly strip him of his skin if you don't come aboard."

"Oh, I'll come aboard allright..." Peter grew angry and his eyebrows
met in a vee.

Aoi lowered his bow and arrow, the arrow facing down.

"Is that all?" Peter asked.

"Yes," the muscled blond said and turned to leave but then the blond spun
and in his hand was a thin spear he must have hidden on his back. He
flung it at them.

Like lightning, Peter dashed the arrow and bow from Aoi, who moved behind
Peter for safety. Peter also almost in the same move, fired and the arrow
not only somehow magically cleaved the spear, but kept on sailing and
found home in the belly button of the huge muscled shirtless blond, who
made a sound like "OAAFFFFFFFFFFFFFOOOWWW!!!!"

The blond looked up at Peter who caught his gaze. Peter smiled. The blond
looked down at the arrow embedded in his gut. He moved his hands toward
it but wasn't sure he should touch it.

Aoi came out from behind Peter's legs and made a fist to the air, "Good
shot, Peter!"

"Of course! For I am Peter Pan!" Peter flew to the pirate. "Before you
die, blond one, tell me, why did you do it?"

"Me and the crew know what trouble you bring...we know...we do not want
you on board."

Peter smiled and turned the arrow into the blond and Aoi winced. "Don't
you know, all Neverland gives me support and praise or they ....die."

The blond did so and flopped to the ground. Aoi looked at him. Peter flew
upward, "Leave him to the forest, it shall make use of him, moreso than I
or even Captain Hooker."

"Where are you going?"

"Straight to the codfish's boat..."

"Ship."

"Ship, yes that's what I said."

Aoi rolled his eyes now, "Well, I'll, I'll go with you."

Peter flung the bow to Aoi, "Catch. No, you go home. I will see you all
there soon as I get Chase."

"Goodbye, father," Aoi said.

"And don't forget to retrieve your arrow from the belly of that beast."

Aoi made a face, not sure he wanted to. But he reached for it and unstuck
the bare belly with a loud slapping sound echoing as he pulled it out.
"Cool!"

Peter flew off for the pirate ship.

On it, Kickai laughed in my face, "You. You have brought me an even
better reason to bring him here than ever I could have imagined."

I shook my head, "No."

"Yes," Kickai smiled, "To my ship the Mania, yes, that's the name."

"Fitting."

"YOU SHALL NOT TALK AGAIN OR I WILL SLIT YOU AND STUFF YOU AS YOU SO MUCH
AS WANTED TO STUFF ME!"

I wanted to yell that "get stuffed" was just an expression but since
Kickai was turned red from his yelling, I thought better of it. I was
shaking, the nearness of his breath and temper throwing its power onto
me. I swallowed.

"Good, now you can be quiet, I can see that. It will be needed for when
Peter Pan comes aboard the Mania, I shall see to it that he is properly
adorned with this hat," Kickai snapped his fingers and two younger
pirates brought forth a large hat. "Don't you want to know who's it was?"

I pretended I didn't. I shrugged as though it didn't matter. But it did.

"Good, then I shall tell you....it was thrown into the sea by your friend
Peter Pan...zounds and beezlebub I said his infernal name again!" Kickai
punched his own palm, "OW!" He gathered himself up again and came
closer as though he were going to put the large red hat on my head. "Know
why?" He twirled the hat, "He was afraid of it." He sat on a barrel,
"Why you might ask was he afraid of it when he's afraid of nothing? It's
HOOK'S HAT! CAPTAIN JAMES HOOK!!!"

I could see in his eyes that he reflected my wide eyed terror. Peter it
was once relayed in story, had put this hat on two times before. The
first time it nearly turned him into Hook himself, and cost him his
friends almost again and the secondly, it was on the way from
NeverNeverLand back to Wendy's house. It was then he had hurled it into
the sea after supposedly ordering poor sweet Tootles to give equally
sweet blond Slightly 12 lashes with the whip. When Tootles refused,
Peter gave them both 12 it was told. Wendy confronted him about this and
he almost killed her. It was then Wendy realized Hook's hat had this
effect on Peter...formerly she and the others all forgot about it! I
wondered if Kickai would hide it.

Instead he placed it on one of the smaller riggings in plain sight. Of
course, Peter wouldn't know what it was. He forgot Hook a year after he
killed him. "I forget them after I kill them and kill them good I do."
Peter said once to me and chilled me to the bone. Forgetting would be
his undoing. I hoped not. I wouldn't let it. I was gagged around the mast
I was tied to.

"And now all we have to do is wait, tick tock, tick tock and THIS TIME
THERE SHALL BE NO CROC TO HELP PETER SLAY HIS ENEMY!"

Peter was high up and watching through clouds. He couldn't hear them yet
but he swooped downward and around the masts. The pirates stirred. Kicaki
waved, "No no me hearties, let the foul damp one land, dirty feet and
all..."

Peter landed near my mast, "Hello Admiral Anchovie!" Peter saluted and
smiled, "Oh I forgot, it's captain anchovie for you!"

"GRRRRRR!" Kickai snorted, "I have come to seek a truce with you...where
is..."

"Who?" Peter smiled coyly. He didn't forget the one he just killed.

"The one with the truce flag...what's his name?"

"Not in my interest," Peter waved, "Now let him go."

Kickai picked up a sword leaning on the mast and said, "I shall cut him
down....OUT I mean out in no time..."

Peter had his knife out in front of his face and was wide eyed with joy
at it, "Never mind, I'll do it myself!" I went wide eyed as Peter came
to me, turning his back on Kickai. Oh Peter, for Pete's sake how could
you do that? Turn your back on Kickai? On a pirate? Oh no!

In a flash, Kickai moved the sword to the hat on the mast hook, whipped
it off, and dangled it over Peter's head and turned the sword so that it
fell on Peter's head. Peter had just cut out off my gag! "Peter! Watch
out! It's a trap! It's Hook's hat!"

"What's this new game then?" Peter asked as the hat fell on his head. He
whipped his body around back at Kickai. It was as if he didn't hear me.

"Peter! Peter Pan! It's the supernatural hat of Hook's! It's cursed! Get
it off! Get it off now!"

As Peter blinked, Kickai ran at me and stuck a knife to my navel and was
about to push it in when he groaned, "No, no! I have a better game than
this..."

Peter rubbed his eyes. Kickai held back, took the cold steel from my
stomach hole and ripped my bonds in one fell swoop of the knife. Peter
was still rubbing his eyes and seemingly dizzy, stared at the ship as
though it were his. Which it probably soon would be.

"Everything in Neverland is mine!" He would say. If only he could now. I
was in more danger than I could know.

"You! Take this sword and do him in!"

"Aye!" Peter took the sword and leveled his knife as well. As he came to
me, I laughed, thinking this might just be one of his games. That he was
immune.

"Peter wouldn't hurt me no matter what..." I found the knife at my
stomach again and I was backed by Peter into the mast. As dangerous as
it was, I was aroused. "Peter!" I looked up his glistening blue eyes,
"It's adult magic. Adult magic. Don't you know me?"

"No but my sword point shall know you initimately!" Peter spurted.

"Peee...Peterrah!" I gasped, "Don't do it!"

"Kill him!"

Peter turned sword at Kickai, "And who be you on this ship?"

"Me? I'm your good brother James Hook. You and I share this ship, this
fine ship ever since Peter Pan cut off your..."

Peter looked at his hands, "Cut off my what, slum gullion!?"

Kickai fumed but had to play along, "I...slum gullion!!! I..." He
recovered, "KILL HIM, MY BROTHER!"

Taking out another sword from a barrel of them, Kickai pointed it
straight at me. I laughed but then I turned toward Peter...and he was
pointing his sword straight at my heart!

The play Peter Pan and its characters are trademarks of and copyright
J.M. Barrie
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Peter Pan and Me