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Focused Madness	By : fusedtwilight Category: Twilight Series > General Views: 3772 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
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Chapter List
- 7
- 8
- 9
Focused Madness
Chapter 8

Fusedtwilight: Thanks to my beta animegirlkiki for betaing and thanks to everyone who reviwed.

Leah P.O.V
Walking up the stairs was a pain in the ass but I managed.
The closer we got to the living room the better I could hear the arguing. Jake and Sam were going back and forth. Boys. Always arguing.
Seth helped me walk while Carlisle and mom walked silently behind us. My arm felt very stiff where Matthew had bitten me. The bite mark was still fresh; I could see the teeth marks perfectly.
We walked into the living room and the arguing stopped. The room was a disaster, Seth wasn't kidding, the walls were smashed, and the furniture was all gone as were the tables. They didn't stand a chance in a room full of fighting werewolves and vampires.
Everyone stared at me wordlessly. “What!” I snapped. “You assholes act like you have never seen an injured lady before.”
Good way to show I was feeling okay. Act like a mean old bitch.
Many voices cried “Leah!”
Jake and Sam came striding over. Before I could stop the big ape, Jake had wrapped his arms around me and gave me a bone crushing hug. “Jesus girl you scared us to death, should have known the reaper didn't want your ass!” Jake laughed.
“Put me down before I shove this cane up your ass!” I hissed.
He realized how much pain he was causing me; little jolts of pain were running up and down my arm. I wavered and Seth and Jake made sure I was steady on my feet. Sam suddenly took my arm in his. His face darkened in anger and rage. He turned to the others and raised my arm so everyone could see. The jolts of pain returned worse than ever.
“You see! This is why we should stay away from them! This is how they repay us for what we have done for them!”
He spoke to his wolves and the elders. Seth was right, all the new kids were here, and the only ones missing were Brady and Collin. Where were they?
Billy and Old Quil were here. Billy sat in his chair looking grave. Old Quil stood, Quil stood beside his grandfather, I wonder if he was just there to support his grandfather or if he had switched sides. I doubt the ladder. Quil was one of Jake's best friends and would not just switch even over something like this. He was just worried for his granddad.
“Let go of my arm you bloody ass!” I hissed. I snatched my arm away from his and a jolt of pain went through me. My face scrunched in pain and I wanted to howl.
“Leah are you okay?” Sam asked.
I glared at him. “No moron, I have a mangled arm and here you are waving it around!”
Sam looked ashamed. “Sorry, I did not think-”
“No shit. You did not think, you did not think bringing the elders and the new kids here was a bad idea? The elders? My mom, Billy? Old Quil? What the fuck Sam?”
“Leah we have been trying to keep peace between Sam's pack and Jake's, we do not want another incident like the one last year,” Billy said.
Jake and Seth helped me move into the living room, Embry smiled at me, he was glad I was alive. I smiled back. We stood with the Cullens and once we were altogether Quil came over to join us. His grandfather watched as his grandson came to stand with us, he did not look happy.
I was glad Quil was with us, it made me feel better. Better about our pack. That despite what had happened we still stuck together. Sam had joined his wolves and the elders. Mom was with him.
“Well here I am. I am not dead, crisis averted.”
“How can you be so casual about this Leah? You almost died,” Sam said.
“What would you have me do Sam? Scream? Yell?” I asked.
“It's what you would have done in the old days,” he said.
“That was the old Leah Sam. I have done a lot of changing, for the better I think. I am not too thrilled about almost dying, but what happened was an accident. No one was meant to be bit, especially me.”
“We know,” Old Quil said, “the Cullens as well as Jacob have explained to us about this little experiment you attempted to help the creature regain his memories.”
I felt a hot streak of anger when he called Matthew creature. “His name is Matthew, it's rather rude to call someone a creature don't you think?”
Old Quil's eyebrows shot up. Plenty other wolves were giving me the wide eye as well. You never talk back to old Quil, not unless you want his cane being tapped on your head.
“For as far as I know yes our experiment was successful. But it caused Matthew to remember the pain that was inflicted on him as well and I grabbed his face to help calm him down when he bit me.” I looked over at Nahuel and smiled. “Had Nahuel not sucked the venom out during the chaos that transpired I would be dead.”
Nahuel smiled. A growling sound made me turn to Sam, his teeth were bared. “Of course, why would he want his new mate to die?”
The air was silent. Deadly silent. Looks of shock and outrage crossed the faces of the elders and the wolves. I brought my cane up and brought it down on Jake and Seth's backsides hard as I could. I may have dented my cane but seeing them rub their bottoms brought a savage satisfaction to me.
“Sons of bitches!” I snarled.
“It was all Seth, not me!” Jake howled.
I rounded on Seth, murderous intent in my eyes. He paled and stepped back. “Sorry Leah I accidentally let it slip when I was phased. I saw Nahuel sucking the venom out and I thought he was doing it because he loved you and Quil and Embry asked me why I would think that and they saw the memory I had of that night and when Sam was over here Quil accidentally made a little remark about you thanking Nahuel with some nice sex for saving your life.”
I rounded on Quil but he and Embry had stepped far out of my reach. They cowered in my wrath, I was so angry, I wanted to phase. Instead I closed my eyes and counted until I began to calm, when I reached fifty I opened my eyes. Mom looked mortified.
“Leah?” she asked. “Tell me it's not true? Tell me you did not let that thing have his way with you?”
I groaned. I so did not want to discuss this now with everyone present. “Yes, I did sleep with Naheul once.”
The room was filled with outraged cries from the wolves and elders. I glanced over at Nahuel, he was looking sheepish as Garrett and Emmett were nudging his shoulders and whispering stuff in his ears too low for me to hear. Judging from the blush creeping up on his cheeks I had a good idea what they were saying.
“Wow Leah, I always knew you were a freak but I didn't think you would fuck another freak,” Paul said.
Seth growled and took two steps toward Paul. I grabbed his shoulder. “Don't,” I whispered
I stared at Paul. “What I and Nahuel did is none of your business. Any of you. What I do with my life concerns no one but me, myself and I.”
“How could you let him touch you?” Sam asked. Hurt and betrayal in his eyes. “A vampire Leah? A fucking vampire? After everything they have done to us, after all the pain they caused us you go and fuck a vampire?”
“Like I just said Sam, what I do with my life concerns no one but me. I did not plan for it to happen, it just did, I will spare you the details but I will say this. I do not regret this.”
“Are you in love with him? Did you imprint on him?” mom asked.
Damn it mom, just drop it. “No, I do not love him nor did I imprint on him.”
“Then why!” she asked her voice raising a few octaves.
“Because I wanted it, because I needed it, because I needed comfort only a man could give a woman mom,” I said.
“Slut,” Paul murmured.
“Shut up Paul! Speak when spoken to!” Sam yelled at him.
Paul's body shuddered; I knew Sam just used his alpha voice because I felt it. I may not be in his pack but I still knew when he used his power. But to me it fell on my mind like gossamer. But for Paul and any other wolf in Sam's pack it would be like steel chains weighing you down.
Sam turned to Jake. “This just proves it, the corruption of your imprint is spreading to your pack, the Leah I know would have never done something so disgusting.”
“And what makes you such a fucking expert on who I am Sam?” I growled.
“The Leah I know would never lower herself to sleep with someone with even a hint of vampire blood in the...”
“Fuck you Sam you don't know a fucking thing about me. You know the best part about it? I didn't think of you a single time, it's you're fucking fault I never want to date anyone! I am still to fucking hung up on you that I am afraid if I sleep with a man I will keep on comparing him to you!”
“Leah, maybe now isn't the best time to say this,” mom said.
“No, he started this I will finish it! He made me feel like a woman Sam, not a freak. Is that so bad? That since I became a wolf I can feel beautiful? Attractive?”
I was on a roll now, Sam had the balls to bring my laundry out in front of the packs, the Cullens, the elders, my friends, my family and...]Whatever the vampires were to me. I mean I wasn't too friendly with them but I didn't hate them as bad as I used to.
I smiled at him but it was not friendly, it was mean, nasty, and full of wrath and bitterness, a smile many in this room were all too familiar with. I had been a bit wrong when I said the old Leah was gone, she still lived in me, still thrived in the part of my heart scared by life and love.
“Or maybe you are just jealous I moved on? Does it irritate you I no longer pine for you? Does the fact I can find happiness with another man make your blood boil?”
“Leah Clearwater that is enough! Sam has been worried about you these last three days, everything he has done is to protect you and keep you safe even though you are no longer in his pack but you still treat him with disrespect,” mom said.
“He airs my dirty laundry in front of everyone and you think I should respect him for that?” I demanded.
“Enough!” Billy roared.
We all shut our yaps. Billy may not be an alpha wolf but he has an air of authority that when he tells you to do something you shut up and you do. Amazing considering he is in a wheel chair and all.
“We are not here to discuss Leah's sex life, no matter how much it offends us. We are here because one of our wolves nearly died after being bitten by a hybrid. Now I want to know what makes this kid so special for you to risk our wolves lives Carlisle. I know you are all hiding something about this boy, he is more than just some hybrid you found wondering the streets.”
Damn. Billy was so fucking smart, how the hell did he figure out we hadn't told them the full details of Matthew's power. God if we tell them now heads really will fucking roll.
I looked at Jake. He had the same knowing look in his eyes. This was about to get really ugly.
“Tell them Carlisle, everything,” I said.
“Very well. Billy you are right, we have been keeping certain details about Matthew from you and your tribe.”
He told them about Matthew's power, what he could do, how he could see and manipulate emotions and how he could make a vampire’s powers stronger twelve times what it was. We told them what we had learned from probing his mind.
The room was quiet but you could feel the tension in the air. “Twelve times stronger?” Old Quil gasped.
“My god! What would happen if the Volturi got their hands on him, they could crush us,” mom said.
“Which is why we wanted to keep this as private as we could. The fewer who knew the better,” Carlisle said.
Sam glared at me and Jake. “And you all kept this from us?”
“Just me and Leah,” Jake said, “Seth and the others were unaware of the true extent of Matthew's power.”
“Why didn't you tell us Jake? This is too big a thing to be kept from us,” Billy said.
“Well after what happened last year we didn't want another incident, after all,” I said imitating his words from earlier.
“Besides the more people that know the chances increase that Aro or the Volturi will find him,” Jake said.
“They already know about him. How do we know that they are not here already?” mom asked.
“If they were aware of his existence they would have come a long time ago. Alice has had no visions of the Volturi gearing up to come here again so they must not know he is here, they must think he is dead.”
“What of his father? This Joham? What if he comes here for him?” Old Quil asked.
“I cannot see Joham, Matthew remembers him fighting the Volturi while he and his sister stayed behind to fight. I should have seen him by now but I can't so he must be dead,” Alice said.
“It would be advantageous for us to have the boy, if we can get him to better control his power than the next time the Volturi come it would be easy for us to win,” Eleazar said, “we have already seen what he can do for those in our covens who have abilities, imagine what he can do for the others, like Zafrinia, or Benjamin.”
“Doesn't matter who has him on their side, the fact is vampires will be controlling him,” Sam said.
“Oh for god's sake Sam why would the Cullens ever use him against us? After everything we have been through with them why would they turn on us?” I asked.
“Have you forgotten they cannot be trusted Leah? Or is that scar on your arm not proof enough of that.”
I threw my hand up in the air, giving up. “I am not going to waste my time trying to make you see sense Sam.” I turned and went to leave the room, Seth helped me move.
“Where are you going?” he asked.
“To find Matthew.”
I heard Sam move; he came to stand in front of me, blocking my path. “No! I forbid it; he tried to kill you Leah!”
“He was not in his right mind, I should have known better than to but my hands or arms near him when he was like that. Now get out of my way.”
He did not budge.
“Sam I swear to god if you do not move I will move you myself,” I said quietly but I knew he could hear me.
We stared at one another for a moment and I thought I was going to have to move him. Then he moved to the side and let me past. “Thank you,” I said.
“Matthew is in our cabin,” I heard Edward call out.
Jake stayed behind to continue his talk with Sam and the elders. I hated to leave him but there was nothing I could do since my opinion didn't seem to count for much. Besides Matthew needed to see I was okay. I can only imagine the pain the little guy must be feeling right not.
Seth took me out to Edward and Bella's cabin. I found out where Collin and Brady were. They sat by the cabin. They had their heads down on their paws but when they saw us their heads jerked up in surprise. They got up and yipped at us. Their little tales wagged and their tongues rolled out of their mouths, they were happy to see I was okay.
“Hey guys,” I smiled when I saw how they reacted to me. “What are you doing out here?”
“Sam ordered them to keep watch over Matthew, make sure the Cullens didn't try and sneak him out,” Seth said.
I sighed. I went up to the door, before I could knock the door opened. Esme opened it, looking radiant as usual; her face had a huge smile on it. “Oh Leah, I am so happy you are okay!”
She hugged me gently; I couldn't really hug her back. My one hand was useless and the other one was on the cane. “Thanks Esme,” I said.
“Come in, Carmen is with Matthew, we have tried our best to get him to speak or it but he won't. Poor thing hasn't even had a bath. He is totally unresponsive.”
She let us inside and closed the door. “I was making something for Collin and Brady when you two arrived,” she said.
I saw a few sandwiches on the kitchen counter. Good old Esme, still motherly even when her family is being threatened. Don't let her fool you; I saw her fight in the battle with the newborns I know what she is capable of when provoked.
“Where is he?”
“In Nessie's room. She is over at Charlie's, we figured it best for her to be there do to all the stress going on,” she said.
Good thinking.
“Can I make you anything? I know you must be famished.”
My stomach growled in response. Three days of nothing but I.V food can make one hungry. I quickly ate three sandwiches and drank a glass of milk. I had Seth escort me to Nessie's room. Esme accompanied us, she opened the door for me and I stepped through.
Nessie's room was perfect, everything was well made and expensive looking. She had a four poster bed (fit for a princess) which was a bit big for her but I am sure in a year or two she will fit into it better. One common theme in the room was all the wolf dolls the littered the shelves. Pictures of her family littered the walls. I noticed some pictures of some of the vampires from last year in some of them. Carmen sat in Nessie's bed, humming a lullaby and gently stroking Matthew's head, his back was turned to us so I could not see what he was doing. I didn't know if he was asleep or awake.
Carmen smiled when she saw me; she kissed his head and got up. Seth led me over to the bed and Esme and Carmen stood by. Just in case. I kneeled down by the bed and Seth backed up, giving us some room.
“Matthew?”
No response. Was he asleep?
“Matthew I'm okay.”
Still no response.
I used my uninjured hand to reach out and and touch his hair. It was soft like silk, it feel between my fingers like clouds.
“Matthew look at me.”
He still was not moving, I was getting a little ticked. A little remorse would be nice after all.
“Matthew look at me now,” I said adding firmness to my voice.
He did not move at first, than he rolled over to face me. He looked horrible, his eyes were red and blood shot. I know he had been crying a lot for his eyes to get like that. I also wondered if he had slept much. Hybrids didn't need to sleep, it was optional for them. But if they wore themselves out mentally or physically they could fall unconscious.
“Matthew, I am not mad at you,” I said, “I know you didn't mean to do it. It was just an accident that is all.”
He began to cry then, I dropped my cane and with my good hand wrapped it around his neck and pulled him close to me, and I hugged him and let him cry into my shoulder. His body shook with sobs.
“Shhh, it's okay,” I said as I cradled him.
“M-me so-sor-sorry Leah,” he sobbed, “Me was i-in suc-ch pain and…”
“I know, I know. I am okay though.”
“Me thought me's k-k-k-killeds yous.”
He wrapped his arms around me in a tight hug. “Me loves you Leah, me nevers do anythings to hurted you.”
“I know Matthew, I love you too.” the words left my mouth before I even realized I was going to say them. Matthew pulled back to look at me, tears flew down his eyes and his lip was quivering. “Really?”
I smiled at him. “Really.”
He hugged me then and began to cry harder. It was part pain part joy. Joy that I loved him, pain that he had hurt me and I still loved him. He began to fall limp in my arms as I rocked him back and forth, I gently sang him one of the ancient Quileute songs mom and dad used to sing to me when I was a girl. I gently laid him in the bed and pulled the covers over him. He peeked at me through half closed lids. He saw my injured arm and blanched.
“Does it hurted Leah?”
“A little. There will be a scar though,” I answered.
I smoothed the hair out from his head, I continued to softly sing to him and soon his eyes closed and his breathing evened out. “Leah...me...love...you.”
I kissed his forehead. “I love you too,” I whispered.
After I made sure I tucked him in Seth led me back to Edward and Bella's living room. I was exhausted. My arm was having these little jolts of pain every time I moved. “That is good,” Esme said, “it means there is no nerve damage.”
I was tired. So tired. It had been one hell of a day for me and I had been up for no more than an hour. I had to lay down, Seth made room so I could lay my head down on his lap, he got a pillow from the couch and gave it to me to use.
I lay down and tried to rest, I could feel Seth running his hand over my hair, he began to sing to me, the same songs mom and dad did the same songs I just sang to Matthew to help him sleep. His voice reminded me of dad's. Some small part of me I thought I had given up recognized that voice, remembered those songs.
Laying down on the couch with my head on Seth's lap and him humming those songs made me remember dad and all the times I fell asleep to him gently singing to me. Despite the stress going on between the packs and the Cullen's now, despite what had happened and my near fatal brush with death I felt at peace.
I fell to sleep, Seth's voice helping me get there quicker. I felt safe and secure, I was with my blood, my family, how could I not.
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Leah's dream
I dreamed me and Matthew were somewhere out in the middle of a field.
Lavender flowers grew everywhere; their sweet scent filled the air. We were having a picnic, we sat on a blanket and we had a picnic basket with us. The sun shined bright on us, causing Matthew's skin to glow softly.
I was in a white dress and wore white shoes. I looked like I was getting ready to go to Sunday church. I watched as Matthew reached into the basket and pulled out a fried chicken leg. He smiled at me and I smiled back. “Eat up, you want to grow up to be big and strong,” I told him.
He nodded and chomped down on the chicken leg. Blood began to ooze out from it and he continued to eat it. Soon the chicken leg was a bloody mess and his mouth was smeared with blood. “That was goods, Leah, can I have mores?” he asked.
“Of course you can,” I said.
He eagerly reached in and pulled out another fried chicken leg, just like before blood oozed out making a disgusting mess. I said nothing about the strangeness of it. It was in his nature after all.
He wiped his mouth with a napkin and got up he ran out in the field and began to run and dance. Butterflies appeared from the air and danced above him. I smiled, pleased.
Then I saw him. Dad. He stood on the edge of the trees, his face grim.
“Dad?” I said. I stood up, Matthew had not noticed him. He was trying to catch the butterflies. “Daddy!” I called.
He looked at me and spoke. “A storm is coming baby. Choices will have to be made, difficult choices. Just know I am always with you and I love you.”
He backed up into the woods, disappearing in the shadows. “Daddy wait, come back!” I called.
Then dark clouds appeared blocking the sun, I could hear the thunder and see the lightning flash, the air dropped a few degrees and the wind picked up. Matthew continued to dance unaware of the world around him. The loss of sunlight caused the surrounding trees to darken. Then from the darkness of the woods a figure emerged.
It was Sam.
“Sam?” I said.
He looked at me, a firm and determined look on his face. I had seen that look many times. When I was in his pack and I watched him go alpha and make a choice that was hard and difficult to make.
“Sam,” I called to him but he did not reply.
Then from the darkness of the woods, they came. Wolves. His pack, all of them, Jared, Paul, Collin, Brady, even the new kids, all in wolf form. What were they doing?
They all growled and flashed teeth, the hackles of their fur stood up. They were getting ready to kill and they were all looking at Matthew who was still dancing, the butterflies having long fluttered away.
I tried to run to him, to grab him and run away. I knew they were here for him; they were going to kill him. I had to get him away, far away or he would die. But no matter how hard I ran, I could not seem to reach him. I felt my feet moving me but it was like the space between us kept on getting longer and longer so I could not get to him.
“Matthew! Run! Run!” I screamed at him.
He did not hear me and continued to dance. The wolves and Sam began to advance on him. “Sam don't do it!” I yelled.
Sam looked at me and his eyes softened just a little. “I am sorry Leah, but it is for the best.”
I tried phasing, but for some reason I could not. It was like some force kept me from doing it.
Sam phased, transforming into a dark nightmare. He led the others as they continued to advance on Matthew. He spotted to and stopped dancing, his back was to me and I could not see his reaction. He turned around and I expected to see a look of pure horror on his face. I was shocked when I saw he was smiling, playful still in the face of death.
“It's okay Leah, their just teaching me how to die.”
They pounced on him them, tearing at him with their jaws and tearing chunks off. I watched in horror as Sam, Jared, Paul, Collin and Brady tore him to pieces, tossing bits and pieces up in the air. Then the new wolves fought over those bits and tore them into smaller pieces. Soon the field was covered in blood and gore their muzzles drenched in blood.
Nahuel came running from the trees, he saw the scene before him and howled in pain. He glared at me his eyes full of hate and pain and tears. “You were supposed to protect him! Why didn't you protect him!”
That was when I woke up.
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My eyes flew open and I looked around, Seth was nowhere to be seen.
I was still on the couch with a pillow beneath my head. My arm was throbbing in pain. I touched it and winced. Fuck that hurt.
I heard the heart beat of a fast beating heart. I looked over to the side and saw Matthew was sleeping on the floor next to the couch a pillow under his head and a blanket covering him. He must have gotten up and came to sleep next to me.
I saw a bottle of pills and a glass of water with ice in it on the table. A note was next to the pills. I picked it up, it was well written.
'Leah, these are some strong pain pills that will help with the pain in your arm. Sam and the elders have left. We will tell you more tomorrow after you have slept, we must talk- Carlisle'
I grabbed the pill bottle and popped a few pills and drank some water. I was quiet, careful not to wake Matthew. I laid back on my pillow, soon the pills took effect and I was once again in dream land, and this time I had no dreams.

Fusedtwilight: Well now Leah has a new kick-ass scar on her arm and has some more issues with Sam. What does Carlisle have to talk with Leah about? And will this be the last incident with Matthew? Please review.
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