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Find Myself In You	By : SensationalK Category: A through F > Black Dagger Brotherhood Views: 3874 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own, the Black Dagger Brotherhood Series, all rights go to the Warden. I do not make any money from it.

Chapter List
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Only a couple of Chapters left and I’m working on a Sequel…A Slashy Sequel!!

Muahahahahahahahahaha

Again I apologize for my Grammar and Spelling…Still looking for a Beta.

SensationalK

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It’s been months, Tohrment thought as he rolled onto his side. It seemed weird that a 35 year old man slept in his girlfriend’s bed but it was the only way that he knew how to comfort himself. The bed still smelled like her, her home still smelled like a fresh cookies and her natural scent. It’s been a good six months since Janelle left, God, he had thought that it would only be a few weeks until the police caught that asshole but Lash turned out to be the King of Hide-an-Seek. He disappeared soon after Janelle left, which frightened Tohrment to no end; it could only mean that he followed Janelle to wherever she was now.

Tohrment rolled onto his back and looked at the digital clock, and he sighed. It made no sense trying to get some sleep now, it was five in the morning and at seven he needed to be at the new office that they just had bought. Tohrment was lucky that they had insurance, they had been paid out good, most of their company cars were being used that night so they were saved from buying the custom made cars, but a lot of their firearms and documents were gone. He thanked god that he had fire proof safe in his office, but a lot of memories were burnt down, pictures that they had made over the years from the first year of the company.

Then on the flip side with the insurance money that they had gotten they had gotten they were able to buy from Vin a top notch headquarters. V made sure that alarm systems, cameras were installed that not even a mouse can get in that building without letting someone know. They were decked out with much better equipment now, he thanked Lash for that but also hated the asshole for taking his girl away.

Tohrment moved to the bathroom to brush his teeth and wash up, grabbing a pair of basketball shorts he slipped them on and a pair of running shoes, he threw a towel over his shoulder and his slapping his watch over his wrist he headed downstairs to the apartment complex gym. Heading straight to the treadmill he started his 20 K run and then finished off with working on his upper body with the bench press.

“You’re up early” Wrath spoke from the doorway, Tohrment looked at his brother.

“Can’t sleep much.” he answered setting the weight back above him and sitting up.

“This isn’t good, Tohr, you’re starting to burn yourself out. I can’t watch you do another burn out and loose your damn mind not after the Wellsie thing,” Wrath spoke shaking his head.

Tohrment had gone off on the deep side after loosing Wellsie, even so far that he wanted to kill himself. Tohrment was the brother that he was the closes too, they grew up together. They had been given to their Grandmother had a young age and only had each other for two years together before their mother had shown up with V and Payne, then Phury and Zsadist, Rhage and lastly Brian aka Butch. They had been tight as brothers can be, it killed Wrath to watch his brother go almost insane and Wrath was watching the signs now, he seen them before and was afraid.

“I’m alright, Wrath, really I’m handling it” Tohrment answered, wiping he sweat from his face.

“Fuck you, Tohr!” Wrath hollered at him startling Tohrment; shocking him so that he stared at his younger brother.

Tohrment might be a year older than his brother, but Wrath got the genes from his fucking father, he was bigger, taller and scarier looking at all of his brothers, no one wanted to piss off Wrath, not even Tohr.

“I’m trying to make you talk; I’m trying to be a fucking brother to you. Who was the one to find you on your bed with an overdose of sleeping pills? Me, Tohrment! I was the one acting like a Dad to John when you went crazy!” Wrath walked over to Tohrment, glaring down at him, “Come on, Tohrment, I’m trying to make sure that I don’t ignore the signs this time, I’m finally seeing them and I want to help. Janelle isn’t dead, she’s just gone and she’ll come back. I know her, she’ll might not comeback for her family, but Tohrment she’s so damn in love with you that she’ll run back to you if she had the chance,” Wrath kneeled down in front of his brother and put a large hand on his shoulders, shaking it slightly to get a reaction.

He expected a jaw breaker punch, Tohrment to scream back at him, or an old fashion throw down like they use to have when Wrath lost his cool, but what he didn’t expect was Tohrment breaking down. He hadn’t seen Tohr cry, not since they were children Wrath even hadn’t seen him cry when Wellsie had been killed. Wrath was shocked, but in reflex in took his brother into his arms and held him as his brother sobbed into his shoulder.

It was a while later when Tohrment finally calmed down enough to talk to him, “It’s like I have a bad record with women, they all leave me” he murmured, wiping his face with his towel.

Wrath shook his head, “It’s not like they want to leave you, Tohr, and Wellsie had no choice. That fucker with 10 times the legal limit made that choice for her and Janelle, and she didn’t want to leave you but she’s a woman that wants to keep her family safe, you safe” Wrath murmured to his brother.

“It hurts” Tohrment sighed.

Wrath nodded, “Damn straight it does, but you gotta keep your head up, bro. Cause you know that woman will run straight back to you when she gets the chance” Wrath spoke, standing up as he slapped Tohrment’s shoulder.

Tohrment got up and nodded, “Wrath, don’t tell anyone about this alright. I really want to keep my man points” he smiled as his brother.

Wrath nodded smiling, “Yeah, alright. I know that you got a badass rep to keep up.”

Tohrment took a shower and dressed for work as he got back to the apartment. A little weight on his shoulders was gone; he was in much better mood. Which his brothers and workers commented on as soon he finished their morning meeting. It was only then that he realized that he had been such an asshole to them over the last few months. Tohrment could be a hardass when he wanted to be, but he respected his men and brothers, he guessed that he dropped that as soon as Janelle had left. Tohrment started to apologize to everyone, but they shook it off, telling him that he was alright; they knew that he didn’t mean it.

After their meeting and his kissing ass, he took the company car and did his rounds to his people that were scattered around the New York area and Caldwell. When he got back to the office it was close to three. He was tired, but he head to do a lot of paper work left that would keep him busy until five. Finally as he dropped his pin and put his head up, he realized that it was six that the second shift head already started. Getting up from his chair, he grabbed his jacket; it was time that he got home.

As he stopped in front of his car, “Tohr” he turned around and found the only female that worked in the office.

Gina was a gorgeous blond; she worked as an accountant for the company because as smart as Phury and V were, they sucked at accounting. If Tohrment hadn’t found Janelle, she probably would be a woman for him.

“Gina” he nodded towards her.

She smiled flashing perfectly white teeth, “I wanted to ask if you want to get some dinner with me. My treat” she smiled at him, the type of ‘and I’ll be your dessert’. Her breasts were pressed against her blouse nearly bulging out to pop him in the eyes. She was sexy that’s for sure but Janelle was even sexier.

“Excuse me, Lady, but he’s eating dinner with me” Tohrment stilled and whipped his head around.

He swallowed his spit, yeah, that’s his woman.

Her curly hair was flowing in the soft breeze of the night, her black thin trench coat hugging her sexy curves.

“You need to go before I have to pop one of our titties, and knock you up side the head with it” Janelle stomped forward, Tohrment held his breath; she even walked sexy, her hips swaying. She stopped so that she was standing in front of him, and God yes, she had her ass. Gina’s mouth dropped, she looked like she wanted to say something but she took off at the look that Janelle sent her.

As soon as the woman ran off, Janelle turned around went to open her mouth but didn’t get a chance before Tohrment was all over her. His hand gripping her thighs and then her ass, squeezing the cheeks, his mouth attacked hers. Janelle moaned, God, she had missed this so damn much. She mewled as Tohr bent his head to kiss her neck, scraping his teeth over her long mocha color neck, tasting her.

She moaned as his teeth embedded into her neck, “What are you a Vampire” she moaned, the pain was turning her on.

“If I was, I would drink you down” he murmured, “God, I missed you so much” he murmured, returning to kiss her.

Tohrment took Janelle’s lips until she pulled away, her eyes dazed, “Save that until we get home cause I gonna ride you so hard that you’re gonna feel me the next month” she lowered her eyes.

Tohr could have came from just hearing the words alone he gotten hard the moment he laid eyes on her. Tohrment all but shoved Janelle in the mustang and probably broke all speed limits to get home.

At the apartment, Janelle didn’t give him the chance to get to bed. She threw him down on the living room floor, Tohrment got the idea and buttoned his pants as Janelle stood over him ripping off her jacket, hiking up the skirt she had on, and slipped her underwear down. Tohrment braced himself as she dropped down to kneel over him, taking him into her hand and lined him up with her and dropped herself on him. They both screamed. Tohrment’s hips bucking and Janelle clenching around him. Then she moved, bouncing herself on his cock, taking all of him into her.

“Fuck me!” Janelle hollered, her head tossed back as her thighs and hips moved. “Good, you feel so good! You’re cock is so fucking good. I feel you in my throat” she hollered.

Tohrment gripped her hips, she was fucking him and not the other away around. She leaned over, bracing her hand on his stomach to pick up more speed. Tohr’s left hand let go of one hip and his hand teased her clit, he knew that Janelle could go on for hours in the position but he couldn’t not with her clenching her inner muscles so hard that he thought she was going to snap him in two, knowing that teasing her clit would bring her faster to completion. He pinched, tugged and then wiggled the harden nub until Janelle’s eye bulged, her core squeezing his cock, she screamed as she came and Tohrment lost the world around him as his cum rocket propel itself out of his balls through his cock and into Janelle coating her insides with his fluids.

Janelle dropped forward and fell on top of him, “Argghh” she moaned as he felt Tohr slip from her soft and soaked need.

“I feel the same” Tohr croaked out making Janelle chuckle.

“I had been planning on teasing you senseless” she murmured, “But that look on that bimbo’s face as she asked you out like you were some damn meat made me want to mark you as mine,” Janelle rubbed against him, her face buried into his neck.

Tohrment stroked the soft curls, “You Neanderthal” he murmured.

“Damn skippy, if I had the strength I would have thrown you over my shoulder and smacked that sweet ass of yours” she added making Tohrment laugh. He rolled over so that Janelle was underneath him; he looked into her hazel eyes, his fingers tracing her face.

“Where did you go?” he asked.

Janelle sighed, “I took off to Germany” she told him, “I stayed with my Uncle and Aunt until Lash showed up” she said.

Tohrment froze he got up and pulled Janelle up so that she sat in his lap, “What happened?” he asked, afraid that he touched her again.0

“He thought that he would be slick and break into the house. My Uncle is an Navy Seal vet, my Father’s oldest brother, he didn’t ask questions, he had Lash down in seconds before beating his ass so hard that you didn’t know what type of gender he was” Janelle spoke, Tohrment let out a sigh of relief. “The police came and picked his ass up; he’s being deported back here in a few days. They have that boy so hard on lock down that he can’t even fart without someone knowing” she added.

There, Tohrment sighed, that weight on his chest was gone, finally easing away. Janelle gripped Tohrment’s thigh and squeezed, “But there is something else I have to tell you” she murmured pulling away from him.

Tohrment felt a shiver go down his spine. Did she fall in love with someone else? Is she leaving him? Is she moving away from here, back to Germany were she had a fresh start? His thoughts went wild as Janelle unbuttoned her blouse, did her breast get bigger? Tohrment looked at those luscious full breasts. Yes they did! He was starting to get hard as he watched his woman undress in front of him. His eyes falling down scorching over cream and coffee skin, he eyes stopping at the stomach. He expected her soft pudgy stomach that cushioned him so well but now he stared a bulging stomach.

“Now every time I think back to were we had sex, we never used a condom” she murmured, she grabbed his hand and placed it against her stomach, “And I didn’t take my birth control since I was getting sick from it mixing I with the medication that I was taking” she spoke.

Tohrment cupped the bulge now; “You’re cupping his little butt right now” Janelle spoke, that defiantly slapped him in his damn face. “He” Tohrment looked up at Janelle, she nodded, “Yeah, a little boy. Your son” she spoke softly, like she was talking to a child she looked afraid.

Tohrment stared at her stomach, transfixed. Something moved under his hand, “Oh!” Janelle made a face of pain, “He’s a little wild” she murmured.

“I’m…He’s…It’s a he” Tohrment started lost for words.

“Are you mad?” she asked. Tohrment blinked and a grin broke out of his face smiling so hard so much that his cheeks hurt.

”Are you crazy!” Tohrment got up from the floor, taking Janelle with him and hugged her. “I can’t even express what I’m feeling right now. I’m so damn happy!” he hollered, picking Janelle off the ground and swung her around.

“I gotta tell!” Tohrment move for the door.

“Tohr!” Janelle holler stopped him.

“Shit! I’m sorry, if you want to wait…” he was cut up as Janelle laughed and shook her head.

“I don’t mind but just I don’t want everyone seeing your junk” she pointed a finger towards his crotch.

Tohrment blushed; he actually blushed as he looked down to see his cock dangling out of his pants. He quickly tugged himself back in, and leaned over to kiss Janelle, “Thanks! That would have being awfully painful to explain to my brothers” he murmured.

Janelle buttoned her blouse as Tohrment yanked her front door open and pulled down her skirt. He banged on first he came in contact then the next, and the next one until all of his brothers and their wives were on the door with look in the eyes that Tohrment finally lost his screw.

Then they saw Janelle and gasped” Janelle!” Mary was the closes and reached her first, hugging her tightly.

“I’m gonna be a Daddy!” Tohrment hollered, startling everyone into silence. “And it’s gonna be a boy!” he nodded like an excited child.

“Damn! You just got a potent shit, my man! She just came home!” Butch looked at Janelle with stunned eyes.

Janelle laughed hard, “Come Butch, I’m six months along due the math” she laughed harder as the wild looks.

“Oh my God, congrats!” Beth pulled her into arms hugging her tight.

“That’s my boy!” Wrath took his brother into his arms, the look of pure happiness Tohrment face had been gone for a while. It was nice to see Tohrment this happy again.

Tohrment watched as Janelle glowed in the affection she was giving, he quickly pulled his cell out and sent a text to John, Payne and Rehvenge telling them that Janelle was back, and he was gonna be a father. It didn’t take a few minutes until the rest of his family showed up. Their hallway filling with people until Janelle pulled them all into her apartment. Nalla got excited that she was finally going to have a playmate soon, and Ehlena was excited that
Tyson was going to have someone close to his age to play with. “But, now I feel bad that I took all of your things you could have used them for this one” she murmured quietly.

Tohrment knew what Ehlena was talking about; Wellsie had been in her seventh month when she had been killed. Tohrment hadn’t had the heart to give all the things away that they had bought for their son. When he had finally had the heart to give it away to the Salvation Army, Ehlena had become pregnant and Tohrment was all too happy to give it to Ehlena.

Tohrment shook his head, “I’m happy that you took it Ehlena, it would have been gone by now anyway because I wanted to donate it anyway the day Rehvenge screamed to everyone that he was going to be a Daddy” he laughed nodding to Rehvenge.

Rehv looked at him, “Please, you just did same thing!” giving him the evil eye.

Tohrment chuckled, “Yeah, but you took it to the extreme, you climbed on top of your penthouse and screamed it so loud that New York City could have heard it.”

“So what!” Rehvenge huffed, Ehlena laughed, hugged her husband, “Now, now, don’t get grumpy. I liked the way you got excited” she murmured, kissing her man. Janelle smiled and leaned against Tohrment, sighing.

“This gonna sound really weird” Beth murmured.

“Brace yourself” Wrath murmured, laughing as he got punched in the arm.

“How about we all try to get pregnant now?” she murmured.

There was a silence, “Are you fucking crazy?” V murmured mouth open, shaking his head.

“Well, Vishous, next year I will be turning thirty-one” Jane spoke; V whipped his head around to his wife.

“Hun” V was completely stunned.

“I know that we never really wanted kids, but it seems sort of nice to hold a piece of us in my arms. I love my job, but it’s not my life you know, think taking a break from the hospital to raise a child would be great” Jane looked at her husband. She had been thinking about this for a while now.

“I think I’m ready, I’m out of my twenties, and the Safe House is doing great” Marissa nodded with agreement, Butch blinked at his wife.

“I’m between offers right now,” Cormia nodded looking at Phury.

“Wouldn’t it be great for all of our children to grow up together like all of you did” Beth spoke, patting Wrath’s thigh.

The men were shocked, not a word was spoken.

“The look on all of your faces!” Qhuinn broke the tension to laugh, his stomach cramping. He would never thought to see the Dagger brothers stunned and shocked at the same time.

Janelle looked over to Mary, she had the lost look in her face and Rhage was holding onto her as she shook slightly.

“Mary,” she called to the lovely woman making her looked over to her, “You told me that you froze some of your eggs in before you had your first chemo right” she asked him. Mary nodded; “Well I know from colleagues in the hospital that my Mother works at that there is a chance that you can get pregnant” Janelle nodded her head. “It may not work on the first try, but most women I know that done it have gotten pregnant. Those eggs you froze are thawed out and injected with fresh sperm, well Rhage’s in that point. They have a little procedure that they’ll be put back into you and hope like hell that one attaches to your womb. The only thing is that Rhage would have to shoot it a cup, and the old fashion way doesn’t work for you” Janelle explained.

Jane nodded, “The OBGYN department in the hospital is starting to do that, I think I never seen so many women in that part of the hospital before” Jane nodded.

Mary was quiet, Rhage took her hand, “I’m up for it if I want it” he spoke softly to his wife.

Mary looked at Rhage, smiling she nodded and Rhage took his love into his arms, “Yeah, I’m up for it too.”

“Girl moment!” Janelle hollered, every female squealed like hell to where the men held their ears closed.

“You guys are dangerous!” Qhuinn rubbed his ear.

“Ladies! I’m gonna start working on my baby!” Beth announced getting up, grabbing Wrath by the hand hauling to the door.

“I’m heading out!” Qhuinn ran for the door, Blay followed to much estrogen in the room for him. John congratulated Janelle one last time and Tohrment also before moving to follow his friends.

“I’m with ya Beth!” Jane grabbed V by the back of neck and hauled him towards the door. Cormia, Marissa followed.

“I’m gonna wait for the next one” Ehlena nodded, leaving with Rehvenge, but the man looked like he had other ideas.

Bella looked at Zsadist, “Wanna try for a boy when Nalla goes to sleep” Bella whispered to her husband.

Z loved the tone of his wife voice and nodded dumbly, “Come on, Nalla. It’s time to go to sleep” he said, picking up his daughter as she protested, but yawning at the same time.

Mary stood up, “You are so not going to make me practice shooting in a cup, right” Rhage looked at his wife with a weary look.

Mary laughed, and leaned down to Rhage’s ear, “Yes, but they are other places that you can shoot in” Mary bit Rhage’s ear. Rhage grabbed his wife as he stood up, hauling her over his shoulders; “We’re leaving” he all jogged to the door and across the hall.

“You women are devious” Tohrment looked Janelle who a shine of mirth in her eyes.

Then the mirth disappeared, her eyes lowered and the hazel eyes darkened, “You know from the second month I’ve been a very hungry, moody and horny” she murmured, getting up taking Tohrment’s hand with her as she moved towards her bedroom.

“Right now, horny is beating out the other two are you gonna do something about that,” she murmured. Tohrment nodded dumbly following Janelle like a lost child, Janelle smiled at him. Janelle worked him so hard that the next morning Tohr had to call in sick.

Janelle had just finished riding Tohrment; his soften cock still inside of her when they both jumped at the sound of the alarm clock.

“Are you kidding me?” Tohrment mumbled and then groaned as Janelle moved to shut it off, letting him slip out of her.

“I think we broke a record, love” Janelle murmured. “A little less then nine hours” she moved off of Tohrment and laid at his side, “I swear for someone your age, you got some stamina” she kissed his neck, then down to his chest, biting a nipple.

Tohrment shook his head, “Janelle!” he was astounded, she was ready for him again. “God, Janelle, I love nothing but make love to you for days but I’m at my limit, I don’t have anything left” he pulled her into his arms.

Janelle sighed, “I guess your right, and you have to get to work” she rolled to get off of him, but he held her tight.

Tohrment gave a look like ‘are you crazy’, “I’m defiantly not going to work now with you finally here plus I can’t move,” he grumbled the last part.

Janelle laughed, she moved to grab Tohrment’s phone, “Call the office and tell them you’re sick then” she gave him the cell Tohrment did so. He faked a cold while holding Janelle’s mouth close as she laughed at his bad acting, after hanging up, he tickled the cruel woman for laughing at him.

They stopped when Janelle’s stomach growled, “Let me make some breakfast” Janelle moved to get up from the bed, but Tohrment grabbed her arm quickly and shook his head, “Lay down, I’m gonna make us some breakfast” he got up from the bed.

Janelle smiled at him and leaned back against the pillows, watching Tohr get up, his back, ass and legs bare to see. Janelle looked over that tall toned body, Tohrment was sexy sexy man, muscled, compact and has a ass that you can bounce a quarter from.

“You’re insatiable” Tohrment startled her out of her thoughts; he had turned around and was looking at her shaking his head.

“I’m sorry,” she smiled cheekily, “Tohr, come on, you’re hot ass hell. I’m a horny pregnant woman, a horny pregnant woman carrying your son,” she grimaced laying a hand her stomach, “Who’s mad had me for not feeding him?” she rubbed him, “Hey, in there stop kicking my ribs” she murmured.

Tohrment moved to the bed and kissed her, and then pulled the covers down to kiss the stomach. He pulled back as he felt a kick against his lips, “Alright, Alright, I’m working on it” Tohrment grinned against the stomach, leaving the room in jog to get something to eat. The little man in Janelle was hungry, and so was he, if he was his son, he was going to have a big appetite. Tohrment cooked up a storm, he was never going to be like Janelle in the kitchen, but he had to feed John for years and the boy never complained about his food, and by judging by the size of his son, it had was pretty damn good.

Walking back into the bedroom, Janelle had fallen asleep, Tohrment smiled. She had curled up with a hand on her stomach; he moved to sit on the bed.

“Janelle” he called to her.

She came awake, “Holy Jesus, I didn’t even notice that I fell asleep” she murmured, rubbing her eyes. “Hmm…food” she gazed over the breakfast he made her.

Tohrment fed his woman, Janelle complained at first telling him that she was invalid, but then gave in to him as he pleaded to her that he would love to watch her eat. Tohrment ate while Janelle ate her second serving, and then put the dishes away while Janelle changed the sheets. They took a shower together to conserve water and also not to get the sheets dirty again.

Tohrment held Janelle tight has they slept. Glad he was happy to hold her in his arms again. She was his, he was hers.

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