The First Cut is the Deepest | By : TheBlindQueen Category: Twilight Series > Het > Bella/Edward Views: 6929 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0 |
Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or make any money from this story. |
******Chapter 9: Reunions *******
Carlisle caught up with me as I approached a small herd of deer. He nodded at me and we moved forward together, silently, not wanting to spook our prey. When we had each had our fill, we made our way to a stream and washed our hands and wiped our faces. Neither of us had yet spoken.
A last, he turned to me, his expression both solemn and troubled. “Have you given any thought to…after?”
“After?” I asked, although I knew exactly what he was thinking. After. What WOULD I do after? Was there anything to look forward to after? What did it matter?
“After this threat is over, and Bella is safe,” Carlisle murmured, looking away now, peering into the shadowed, nighttime forest. “I don’t want to see you go back to…to what you were doing before you returned here. Edward, you deserve some semblance of happiness. If not that, then at least contentment. I worry that coming back here, seeing her again, and knowing that she’s happy…” He shrugged. “I’m not sure I like to think what it might do to you.”
I gave a short bark of laughter. “Well, it’s not like it could mess me up any further,” I reminded him. “My existence was pretty well fucked the day I left her.” I felt Carlisle’s shock at my use of profanity. It was something I seldom did, but I could find no other word to describe the mess I had made of things.
“Edward,” he said, and concern laced his tone. He put a fatherly hand on my shoulder and waited until I met his gaze. “Promise me that when this is over, you’ll at least TRY to live with us again. We want you back in our family. We miss you; it isn’t the same without you. We’re incomplete without you.” He paused and then pulled out the heavy artillery. “It’s been especially hard for Esme, Edward. She feels like she’s lost you – and you know how much that pains her.”
“That’s not fair, Carlisle.” I forced the words between gritted teeth. As much as I missed all of them, their happiness with their respective mates was too much to bear. It merely made all the more apparent what I had lost – and the fact that I would ever be ALONE.
Carlisle sighed and nodded. “I know,” he admitted. “But Esme is hurting, and it hurts me to see her in pain. You’re hurting too. More than you care to admit. I want my son back. I want my family to be whole again. Please…just promise me you’ll think about it. Don’t give me an answer yet, but just consider it. For Esme’s sake, and for mine.”
I was silent for a long moment, contemplating the competing tugs of guilt and grief on my cold, dead heart. “I will…consider it,” I said at last. I could not promise to return to the family fold, but I owed Carlisle my pledge to think about it. There would be time enough to consider my strange, dead future when Bella and her son were safe.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
It was dawn and the house was full of quiet noise. It felt odd to suddenly be part of the family again. Strange but – right. I found some comfort in their familiar thoughts and voices. I had not truly realized how much I had missed them until I was with them again. An hour after dawn, I heard a car getting closer to the house. I recognized the sound of it. Rosalie’s car, purring in well maintained perfection. I smiled, feeling a surge of anticipation.
I had missed Emmett almost as much as I had missed Alice. Emmett was a comforting companion, his thoughts as blunt and open as his words. In some ways, he was the easiest to be around because he accepted whatever came. Nothing surprised Emmett, nothing took him off guard, and nothing bothered him. Emmett went with the proverbial flow. It was easy to be Emmett’s friend and brother.
I was the first one outside to greet them, and I was even glad to see Rose. She smiled at me, which was unexpected. I had expected her to be fairly grumpy over the idea of returning to Forks to save Bella Swan. Bella Swan Black, I reminded myself. Rose had never really cared for Bella and had never made a secret of that fact. So I was surprised and gratified at the determination I could hear in her thoughts. She was fully committed to the idea of protecting Bella.
And the baby, above all, the baby. I could see that the news of the baby was what had changed Rosalie’s perspective on this situation. Rosalie had yearned for a child for so long that she would do anything she could to protect the baby, even if she was not particularly care for the mother.
I didn’t care what her reasons were, only that she was here and she would help.
I surprised us both when I pulled Rose into an enthusiastic hug. “Thank you,” I whispered. She stared at me for a moment and then nodded. Something in our relationship changed in that moment, and we both knew that we understood – and appreciated – each other better now.
Then Emmett was pounding me on the back in that enthusiastic manner of his, and I realized just how much I had missed even the things about him that annoyed me the most. I returned the whack on the back and he laughed, throwing his head back and roaring so loudly that I heard birds screech in fear and take to wing.
“And he’s back,” I said dryly.
“You know it,” Emmett replied with a grin.
“Thanks,” I said.
“I’m just glad for an excuse to really fight,” he assured me. “It’s been too long.” He winked at Rose, who merely rolled her eyes. “I can’t wait to get hold of a newborn or two. I hear they’re pretty damned strong.” He sighed with anticipation, his eyes alight with eagerness. “Thanks for including us in the party.”
“It’s hardly a cause for celebration,” Esme chided, coming up behind me. She hugged Rose as well and then gave Emmett an admonishing look that did nothing to dim the enthusiasm in his expression. Esme sighed and shook her head, but I knew she was deeply gratified at having her family together once more.
Together, we walked back into the house and all of us fell effortlessly into place. We had, at least for this moment, come home again.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
My phone rang early in the evening. It was Jacob Black. “Bella’s home,” he said by way of introduction. “I thought you’d want to know.” His voice was nothing more than a whisper, as if he did not want to disturb someone who was sleeping. “She’s good. Tired, but good.”
“Thank you,” I said. I paused. “And the baby?”
“Fine,” he replied, sounding somewhat surprised. Was he shocked that I actually cared about his child? Did he not realize that – more than anything else – I wanted Bella to be happy? “They’re both fine. The doctor said that everything should go fine.” Jacob heaved a sigh. He sounded exhausted. “But he doesn’t want her to get upset.”
“We’ll do our best to make sure that doesn’t happen,” I assured him. “Emmett and Rosalie arrived this morning, so we’re all here.”
“That’s great,” Jacob replied with more enthusiasm and genuine feeling than I expected. “That makes me feel better.” He paused. “Listen, Sam and I were talking, and we were wondering if…”
“Yes?”
“Well, I know this really sounds weird, I mean, we’re mortal enemies and all that.” Jacob sounded almost amused. “But Sam and I were wondering if a couple of you would like to go on a patrol with a few of my brothers. Just a look-see type of thing.” He hesitated. “It’s okay if the answer is no, but I just thought I’d put that out there.”
“We would most definitely be interested,” I replied. “Count me in, and I’ll let you know who else will go with us. Probably…Emmett?” I glanced over at Emmett and he was already nodding, a wide grin on his face.
“Hell yeah!”
“That’s a yes for Emmett,” I told Jacob dryly.
Jacob laughed. “All right then, I’ll get back to you on the details.” There was a moment of silence. “And thanks…for everything.”
“You’re welcome.”
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