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The Practice of Love	By : belladonnacullen Category: Twilight Series > AU/AR > Het > Het Views: 2642 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or make any money from this story.

Chapter List
- 8
- 9
- 10
EPOV
Emmett’s house was a lot like him, enormous and cheery. But tonight as I jogged up the stairs to the small office where I’d been sleeping on a pullout, it was dark and surprisingly quiet. Em couldn’t stand to be alone, so he’d rented out the second floor to his friends from high school, Eric and Tyler. Yep, high school. Emmett was the friendliest fucker I knew, he kept in touch with people like that.

But tonight everyone was out, leaving me alone with my fucking thoughts. I had plenty of them and they were good company, for once.

I plopped down on the uncomfortable mattress, grabbed the iPod out of my back pocket, scrolled through the playlist until I found Propagandi, and popped the ear buds into my ears. My head was swimming. That wasn’t exactly how I’d thought the afternoon at my aunt and uncle’s house would go. I didn’t dream that I’d spend most of my time with Isabella and Vanessa Swan.

Actually, this morning I hadn’t been thinking about the afternoon at all. I’d been fucking trying to catch up on work. I’d called Lauren in, and we’d spent the better part of the morning cleaning up the mess I’d made of the last half of the week. I’d been so pre-occupied with my own shit, that I’d let things at the office slide, and that wasn’t how I operated. I didn’t do anything half-assed, least of all my work.

But then Emmett had tracked me down at the office and threatened to wrestle me into his Jeep in order to get me to the party. I knew he wasn’t kidding. He’d be all too happy to do something like that in front of Lauren. Then he’d ask her out and she’d say yes. For that reason alone, I went along quietly.

“What the fuck, Emmett?” I asked, as I slammed the car door.

“Alice’s orders. She says you’ve got to be there,” he said with a shit-eating grin on his face. Alice may have told him to do this, but Emmett fucking loved every minute of it.

“Then, maybe you and Alice can find me some more fucking clients when I fucking lose the cases I was just working on.”

“You’re not hurting for clients, you dipshit. Stop being so dramatic. When did you turn into a girl on me?” I choked on my own spit as I thought about my fucking man-gina. He’d never let me live it down if he found out about that shit.

Thoughts about my girlish balls and all the work I wasn’t getting done had me in a pretty foul mood by the time we got to Carlisle and Esme’s. But then Alice had pushed me into Bella in the garage, and the whole fucking afternoon suddenly turned on its head. The way Bella’s delicate hips fit in my hands, and the way the thin cotton of her dress rubbed against her bare skin, well, I could easily imagine how it would feel to hold her without that meager barrier in the way. And I’d had to make a very concerted effort not to slide my hands back to cup her ass and pull her towards me. With her all flushed and perspiring in that dark space, as that angel-pretty dress clung to her, my body was fucking shouting for me to do it. Instead, we stood so close in that hot ass garage and we whispered, and it was one mental jump away from a bedroom somewhere, with her breath on my neck, and my name on her lips.

As I unbuttoned my fly in Emmett’s dim little home office, I thought about how she was warm and soft and looked at her feet, how her hair brushed the tops of her perky tits, and how I wondered if she was wearing a bra, or if they just naturally defied gravity like that, and how I could see the cleft between her tits from where I was standing, how that sweet spot glistened with just a little bit of sweat, and how I’d like to lick it away.

And I didn’t fucking stop myself, like I had in real life, when I’d stepped back so I didn’t accidentally assault my doctor with my cock. No, this time I did fucking cup her ass, and I placed an open mouthed kiss behind her ear, and she sighed, and her body fell against mine, those tits rubbing against my chest. I fucking picked her off the ground so that I could kiss and lick my way to that place between her tits as I ground her into my aching erection, and she whispered my name in my ear.

“Edward,” she fucking moaned.

Fuck.

It wasn’t like I had clothing to spare these days. I pulled off my suddenly sticky T-shirt and mopped the rest of the cum off my chest, then pulled the sheets off the mattress, so I had a good excuse to wash my shirt. After dumping it all into the washing machine, I took a quick shower, where I fucking thought about Bella a few more times: on the grass by the wall, on my aunt’s kitchen table, on a bed with syrup. Enough said. In fifteen minutes I’d mentally torn off that little white sundress enough times that I’m sure its days were numbered.

I heard my cell ringing as I walked down the hall from the bathroom with a towel around my waist, dripping water on the wood floors. I hurried to catch the call with the ridiculous idea that somehow she’d gotten my number. She wanted to talk, she wanted to see me, and she was on her way back.

But when I picked the phone off the desk, it was about the opposite of what I’d hoped, and I had to hold myself back from throwing the phone against the wall. Lauren had enough to do tomorrow without replacing my Blackberry. Of course it wasn’t Bella. Bella had a life: a cute little kid, a boyfriend, and normalcy. It was a far cry from my fucked up existence: homeless, clothesless, and apparently fielding calls from fucking Tanya.

“Tanya.”

That’s right, I answered it. There was no way I could move on with my life if Tanya wouldn’t. And we needed to settle this shit, if only for our families. Esme had been fuming when she found out what Sasha had pulled in the garage. She was primed to march out into the backyard and ask her closest friend in the world to leave, and to take her family with her. I had to start fixing this for her and for Carlisle, if not for Tanya and myself.

“Edward, what if I’m pregnant?” So much for small talk.

“If you’re pregnant, then it’s not my kid.” Tanya was talking shit and she knew it. Even if the dates matched up, and they fucking didn’t, there was about a one in a million chance that I could impregnate anyone.

“Don’t say that. You know I’ve only been with you.”

“The last time was more than a month ago. Don’t push me on this Tanya. You can’t win this argument.”

“Sometimes women don’t know right away. And tests come back negative, and --”

She fucking pushed. “And you had your fucking period twenty-one days ago. First, wait a week. Then, if you’re pregnant, it’s either immaculate fucking conception, in which case you should consult god and leave me the fuck out of it, or it’s not fucking mine.”

“You’re a sick fuck, Edward. You memorize when I get my period?”

“And I know how many forks are in the kitchen drawer, how many steps it takes to get from the front door to the garage and how many days it takes before the liquid soap in the bathroom runs out. You can’t play counting games with someone with OCD. It isn’t going to work. You should fucking know that by now.”

I heard Tanya breathing on the other end of the line, not that sexy breathing shit, but the breath of someone on the losing side of a fight. I knew the sound of it from when I was handing someone their ass in court. It was primal, I think. It probably sounded the same today as when a hunter was losing out to a buffalo thousands of years ago. That idea made me think of Bella’s list, and I immediately felt lighter inside. I picked the small piece of folded paper off the desk, where I’d emptied my pockets. I unfolded it, and sure enough, on the bottom in blue ink, she’d added:

Comfortable and durable footwear.

Maybe she just had a good memory, but the fact that she’d used my exact words was exciting in a way that I couldn’t totally put my finger on.

“Edward, this break-up is all wrong. We’re supposed to be together, everyone knows it. They’ve always said it, since we were kids.”

I sighed. I really didn’t want to think about Tanya and her shit right now. This was like ripping off a band-aid over the course of three days, and it was so painful it was killing me.

“Don’t you get it, T? It’s because I’ve known you that long that you can’t fucking fool me. I know you’re not happy, and I fucking know you tried. And I know I never did. I’m not saying I’m not an ass, but an ounce of self-awareness fifteen fucking years too late isn’t going to change what’s happened between us. I can’t do this to you anymore. If I didn’t care, then I’d just keep fucking you over.”

There was momentary silence on the other end of the phone. I glanced around the room for something to change into, not wanting to talk to Tanya in the nude. It made me feel slightly sick and ashamed. But with my T-shirts and jeans in the wash, I didn’t have many options. I pulled on a pair of track shorts.

“I don’t know how to live without you, Edward. I went food shopping and I bought all the shit that you would usually eat, without even thinking. I don’t know how to sleep here without you in the office clicking on the keys of your laptop. I woke up last night and I was so sure I heard you in there, and…” Tanya broke down in quiet tears. She fucking always did at this point in an argument, and it crushed my balls in a fucking vise every time, too.

“Maybe you should stay with Kate for a while, so you’re not alone,” I offered, sitting back down on the bare mattress.

“Maybe. At least, now I can say you’re an ass and not feel like a bitch about it.”

“You were free enough with that shit before we broke up,” I almost laughed.

“You’re an asshole, Edward.”

“Sorry, Tanya. I thought you knew that.”

“But, I still love you.”

“I can’t say that right now, T.” If I said it, she’d take it the wrong way. She was family, she’d held my hand in the hospital, and she’d been my first kiss, the first girl that I’d ever tried to take on a date. And that’s where I should have left it, but I’d been so fucking weak that I pulled her into my shit and spat her out the other end. I deserved to be called a lot worse than asshole.

“But you do. Or you did love me, at least.”

She could say what she wanted, but there was no way I was fucking going there. “Tanya, Lauren’s going to call tomorrow about my stuff.”

“I didn’t ruin all of your clothes.”

And I didn’t ruin all of her life. It was little consolation, either fucking way.

“Don’t fucking give her a hard time just because she works for me,” I warned.

“You give her a hard time just because she works for you.”

She had a point.

“I’m hanging up, T. Please don’t make this a habit. Give yourself some time.”

“Go fuck yourself, Edward.”

I already did, T. I already fucking did.

xXxXx

I didn’t know what to do with myself after my talk with Tanya. I dumped my clothes in the dryer and searched the kitchen for something to eat. I wanted to get over this eating shit once and for all, especially if it would help me to sleep, but aside from eating Bella-approved foods on her command, I was still hopeless. I settled on a bottle of water and some cherry tomatoes. Baby fucking steps. Three days ago I would have settled on water.

I flipped through the channels on T.V., but I couldn’t keep my mind from wandering. That call from Tanya had fucked with my head more than I wanted to admit. For years I’d thought she was it; that what we had was all I could ever have. But, I’d spent twenty-five fucking years telling myself what I could and couldn’t have. I’d made cold and clinical lines in the sand that I’d followed like I was Muslim and they were sharia. I’d limited clutter, and food, and emotions in equal measure. And I’d given up on things like a family and happiness and a real fucking existence.

But how did I know I couldn’t have those things when I’d never tried? Because I knew what I was capable of, I reminded myself. I had the track record to prove it. I’d fucked over everyone that cared about me, at one point or another.

And now, what the hell was I thinking? I’d asked to see Bella again. I was a selfish prick. Just the thought of seeing Bella made my heart race fearfully. I was using her to make myself feel something - like living wasn’t such a bad idea. But when I’d tried that shit with Tanya, I’d only broken her.

I reminded myself that we were just having a meal together. Even before Bella told me about her boyfriend, I had no intention of it turning into anything else. I wasn’t fucking over a kid and her mom. I told Bella the truth; I knew what I was capable of. I wouldn’t inflict myself on anyone I cared about again, especially not someone with a kid.

A beautiful and funny little girl that looked just like her mom, Bella. Bella fucking Swan: the woman that I couldn’t stop flirting with and fantasizing about to save my life. The woman that single-handedly had me doing things that I hadn’t done since before my mom died, without even really trying. So, fuck it. One way or another I was going to see her again. Lunch, dinner, I didn’t fucking care.

Because after acting like a nutcase in her office, after the shit that Angela must have told her, after my brother had his paws all over her, she’d still asked Alice about me.

“I haven’t seen her or, um… Edward, either.”

Like a fucking siren’s call, I couldn’t stay away from her after she’d said my name. Maybe that was just it, I couldn’t stay away. It took almost everything I had not to touch her. And with a little thing, like looking into her eyes, my resolve crumbled and I had to reach for her every time. And when my skin brushed against hers, I wanted more and was completely satisfied, all at once.

All this deep fucking thinking about Bella Swan was really idiotic, though, because she had a boyfriend. She had a boyfriend that was close enough to nickname her daughter.

You gave her daughter a nickname, you ass. Anyone can.

But amazing moms, like I’m sure Bella was, didn’t tend to parade multiple men in front of their daughters. I wouldn’t fucking touch her.

But maybe we could drive in her car again, without Little Bell, I mused. The idea of Bella swearing, even at traffic, did things to me. I swore a blue streak on a fucking daily basis, but I’d pay large sums of money for her to punch the steering wheel and say fuck, or to look me in the eyes and say fuck. Or to lie in my bed and say fuck. No, that was going too far. I didn’t want her paying anyone for that shit.

After that line of thinking, I either had to march myself back up to the office for some alone time, or I had to find another way to relieve the tension that built whenever I started imagining Bella saying fuck.

I grabbed my T-shirt from of the dryer and pulled it over my head, even though it was still sopping wet. I needed to get out of there, and when my feet pounded on pavement it tended to knock some calm into my system. But Emmett turned his key in the lock just as I was jogging down the stairs, two at a time. My heart warmed seeing him come through the double doors, and I couldn’t help smiling. He’d left the anniversary party with Bella’s friend over five hours ago. It looked like I’d won the bet.

“Hey, Em.” My voice sounded cheerful, even to me.

“Going for a jog?” he asked, kicking off his shoes.

“What does it look like I’m doing?” I chuckled.

“Well, with that wet T-shirt, it looks like you were privately re-enacting Flash Dance up in my office. I just hope you mopped up the water and kept it off the computer.”

“Very fucking funny. Where have you been?”

“What, are you my mom now?”

I crossed my arms and raised my eyebrows, barring his path to the living room. I wasn’t leaving until I knew for sure that I was having my un-date with Isabella Swan, MD. Her friend Rose was an Eagles fan, for fuck’s sake. I had this in the bag. I already knew where I was going to take Bella. I couldn’t wait to see the look on her face when we walked through the restaurant’s entrance.

“So?” I asked, excitement bubbling in my stomach like I was a kid and it was my birthday and Christmas rolled into one.

“I had a date. Are you satisfied? Or do you want details? Are you looking for vague under the shirt but over the panties kind of details, or are we talking hard core --”

“Shut the fuck up, Emmett. I don’t need to hear about you in the sack. But, it was with Bella’s friend, Rose, right?”

“Bella? As in Dr. Swan, that cute little doc with the pretty titties?”

Emmett had had his hands all over her at the party. I took a threatening step in his direction, and he backed up against the wall. “Fucking watch what you say about her, all right?” I huffed, before begrudgingly stepping aside to let him into his house.

Emmett grinned as he edged past me, like he was trying not to laugh. “What’s it to you?”

“I suggest that maybe there’s one woman out there you shouldn’t verbally molest, and there’s something wrong with that?”

“There’s nothing wrong with that, dude. You’ve just never suggested it before. And that’s not the only thing that’s weird about you, lately,” he said as he made his way to the kitchen. “You know you can stay here as long as you need to, but I wouldn’t mind if you let the wall down for a fucking second to explain the cheese steak, and breaking up with Tanya, and living in my study.” He opened the refrigerator and started rooting around inside, finally pulling out a can of beer.

“Were you out with her friend or not?”

“You like her friend? Is that it?” he asked, cracking open the can and wandering back into the living room.

“I don’t even fucking know her friend.”

“Then you don’t mind if I go out with her?”

“Bella?” I asked, incredulously. I most fucking certainly minded. That thought almost caused physical pain.

“No, Bella’s friend Rose. I already know how you feel about Bella, just by the look on your face.”

“Just because you’ve dated most of the women in Philly, doesn’t mean you know shit about my feelings.”

“Oh yeah? Then I’ll ask Bella out tomorrow. I’ll call dad’s office first thing. Maybe I’ll take her to that sweet little Cuban place over in Olde City where I take the girls I really like. And then, after, you should just clear out of here for the night, cause I’m bringing her back and…”

“Shut the fuck up, Emmett,” I growled, taking another step in his direction.

“Well, now that that’s established, I’ll tell you about Rose.”

“No fucking way you’re asking Bella out. Do you hear me?”

“Loud and clear, bro. Sorry. I just felt the need to prove a point,” he grinned, plopping his ass down on the couch.

This was becoming infuriating. “Were you out with Rose, or not?”

“Fucking not.”

“But, it’s been five hours.”

“I told you, I had a date.”

“With someone else?” He was fucking unbelievable.

“Don’t get me wrong, after I met Rose, my plan was to meet this other chick and break it off right then and there. Hell, I was almost willing to do it over the phone, but I can’t do that shit.”

See what I mean? He was responsible for the sweetest break-ups, ever.

“I should have had plenty of time to hang with Rose, get her number, maybe set up a date, and then meet this chick to break-up. But there was an accident on seventy-six and it was taking forever to get back to her place, and instead of enjoying the company of the brilliant and sexy woman next to me, I was all nervous that I was going to miss my break-up.”

“You could have just blown off the date with the other girl, you know.”

“I’m not an asshole like some people in the room.”

I let that one slide. After all, I was in agreement.

“Anyway, Rose could tell I was getting anxious, and she asked if I had somewhere else I had to be. I couldn’t fucking lie to her; she’s smart, you know? She’s in charge of the interns in emergency over at Penn. Did you know that? At twenty-seven years old!” Emmett looked over at me waiting for some sort of reaction, but I didn’t really care about the woman’s resume, just whether or not he was going to see her again. I managed a shrug and a nod.

“Anyway,” he continued, “as soon as she pieced shit together, she wouldn’t even look at me for the rest of the ride. When I dropped her off, she told me to have a nice fucking life,” Emmett explained with a groan.

“She didn’t even give you her number?” I asked, laughing a little, taking a seat in a cushy chair by the window.

“It’s not fucking funny, Edward.”

He didn’t even have her number. Bella fucking called it. And I was going to call her first thing in the morning, and I was going make plans to see her again. I realized a little too late that I was humming one of those bubble-gum pop songs Bella’s daughter had been singing. Yeah, it was the one about the sticky sheets.

“You don’t have to fucking gloat, dude.”

“I’m not gloating, Emmett. I’m just fucking happy.”

“So, you don’t want me dating Rose either?”

“I’ve never even met Rose. And I’m not dating Bella. I’m not dating her, like immediately,” I said, jumping to my feet, newly energized for my run.

“You don’t make any fucking sense these days. Listen, I’m going to bed. It’s not every fucking day that I’m turned down by two women and break up with a third. That shit grates, man. You have everything you need? Towels and shit? Something to wear to work tomorrow?”

“Thank fucking god for twenty-four hour cleaners. And I’ll give Hillary a call about some clothes tomorrow.”

“You and your fucking personal shopper, pretty-boy,” he chuckled as he made his way to the kitchen to dump his empty can in the recycling bin.

I smiled again, thinking about how Bella’s daughter had called me pretty.

“Ness, boys are handsome.”

Did that mean Bella thought I was handsome? Did it matter? It wasn’t a date, she had a boyfriend, and I’d vowed not to fuck up her life. But the answer was yes, it did fucking matter, and the idea that she might think I was attractive made me reconsider going for a run. I glanced up the stairs, with thoughts of sticky watermelon syrup dribbled over peaches and cream skin.

“That’s the shit I’m talking about. Like these dreamy-ass smiles while you stare off into space,” Emmett said, shattering the daydream.

I had no intentions of explaining what was just going through my head; Emmett would eat that shit up with a spoon. “Em, I’ve had about forty-eight hours away from Tanya, and we were together for five fucking years. How the hell am I supposed to know which way is up, let alone why I look the way I do?”

“Just tell me, bro. Was it the pretty little doc? You broke up with Tanya right after that office visit. Did she tell you to, or what?” he asked, pausing at the bottom of the stairs.

“She just wanted me to be happy, I think. You saw the prescription.”

“Well, at least you finally listened. It’s not like we didn’t all say that at some time or another, you know.”

“I’m a stubborn son-of-a-bitch, Em, you should fucking know that by now.”

“Until it comes to Dr. Swan. Then you’re like the world’s biggest pushover. A fucking cheese steak. That was priceless.”

“You know she has a kid?” I asked out of the blue.

“Yeah, the kid Rose brought to the party.”

“She looks just like Bella.”

“Alice and Esme totally loved her. They whisked the little one away as soon as Rose showed up with her. I hardly saw the kid. She seemed sweet, I guess.”

“Yeah, she’s really fucking sweet, and smart, and funny. Just like her mom.”

“Holy fucking hell,” Emmett chuckled as he walked up the stairs. “Don’t worry, bro, I won’t ask the doc out again. Good fucking luck with that one.”

xXxXx

Lauren was sitting at her desk nervously when I strode into the office Monday morning. She scrambled to her feet when she saw me. “Here are your calls, Mr. Masen. And Jenks called again about the Patterson case. And the reports opposing counsel sent over about Hannigan vs. Hannigan are on your desk, ready for review. And you have the new client consultation with Mr. Black at noon, so you have to, um, be here at noon.”

Right. I’d run out at noon on Wednesday and Thursday, leaving her to clean up my mess.

“I’ll be here, today.”

“Good,” she sighed. “And then there’s the meeting with Laurent this afternoon, at two.”

“Fuck,” I muttered under my breath.

“A problem, Mr. Masen? Do you have a conflict with the two o’clock?”

I didn’t know. Did fucking over my boss’ future sister-in-law count as a conflict? Time would fucking tell. I cursed myself under my breath for introducing Irina and Laurent in the first place.

“We’ll see, Lauren,” I replied grimly, leaving it at that.

She sighed again and tapped her finger nervously against her thigh. I imagine she was dreaming up ways to tell my boss that I’d disappeared.

“Lauren, I’ll be here at two. Calm the fuck down and make those arrangements I talked to you about yesterday. Have it all shipped to Alice’s place, okay?”

“Sure, Mr. Masen,” she squeaked, retreating to her desk.

I made a mental note to try to be easier on Lauren in the future, and practically pranced into my office and shut the door behind me, glad that Emmett wasn’t around to witness that shit and to call me girly again. After I got home from my run last night, I’d spent entirely too much time scrolling through the address book on my blackberry. So, at this point, I could automatically pull up the number for Carlisle’s office. I did just that as I sat down, pushed my chair over to the window and gazed absently at the fountain.

“Fairmount Family Medicine.”

“Hi, Shelly.”

“Edward, you called! Does that mean you won’t show up at noon today to try to thwart my authority?”

“I wasn’t trying to thwart, Shelly,” I joked. “I was actually doing a damn good job of it.”

Shelly laughed on the other end of the line. She’d known me since I was a kid, so I could get away with a certain amount of disobedience with her. Secretly, I think she loved that I flouted her rules. To a point, anyway. I could tell by the tone of her voice that I was walking the line lately.

“Are you looking for your uncle?”

“Actually, could you put me through to Dr. Swan?”

“Oh, that’s right. She saw you last week. Of course. Hold on, honey. And try to make it in to the office when I’m here every once in a while.”

I’m certain it wasn’t every patient that got through to the doctor that easily. Being the doctor’s nephew had its privileges. I nevertheless waited impatiently, spinning my chair back and forth a little, watching a couple little kids wade into the fountain below. They weren’t half as cute as Bella’s kid.

“Edward?”

My heart leapt into my throat at the sound of her voice, so soft, yet confident.

“He didn’t get her number. Your friend told him to, uh, have a nice fucking life, according to Emmett,” I laughed.

“I told you, but you wouldn’t listen,” Bella laughed right back. “I’ve seen your cousin’s moves, you know. I knew he was no match for Rose. You should have listened.”

“Maybe he didn’t charm the pants off you, but you’ve got to understand, you’re in the minority.”

“I wasn’t wearing pants,” she chuckled.

Her flirty comment took me by surprise. It was a step or two farther than I’d planned on going, and the safety I’d felt in the terms ‘not a date’ and ‘just lunch’ began rapidly slipping away. I was fucking playing with fire.

“Let’s not talk about my cousin or your pants. I was calling about lunch. Where and when? I lost the bet, so I’m at your mercy.”

“My house, Saturday?” Okay, that was not what I was expecting, at all.

“Your house? You cook?”

“You sound surprised, or disappointed.”

“Neither. More in awe than anything.”

“Of me making lunch? Please, lower your expectations a little, or it’s going to be a really sad affair.”

“You’re talking to a man that ate cherry tomatoes for dinner last night.” I wouldn’t be sad as long as I could see her again.

“Okay then, it won’t be that sad.”

“Fair enough. Lunch at your house.” I guessed Little Bell would be there. It wouldn’t be a date. Did she really want me around her kid again? Would the boyfriend be there? How the hell would that go? “Sounds good,” I managed. It wasn’t exactly a lie, but ‘good’ didn’t really do my wild thoughts justice, that’s for fucking sure.

“Damn, Edward, I have to go. Is this your cell? I can text you my address. Is noon on Saturday okay?”

“Perfect.”

“See you Saturday.”

“Until then, Bella.”

“Bye, Edward.”

I’d take her any way I could get her.

I hummed through my morning, worked my fucking ass off, trying to forget about my meeting with Laurent, and trying to remember every fucking detail of my conversation with Bella. I hardly noticed when twelve o’clock rolled around until Lauren’s voice buzzed over the intercom.

“Mr. Masen, I have Mr. Black here to see you.”

“Bring him in Lauren.”

I checked my watch. It was twelve on the dot. Mr. Black was prompt and I appreciated that in a client. These interviews were more for me, these days. No one that walked through that door didn’t want me as their attorney. But I wouldn’t work for someone I didn’t believe in. Sure, everyone had the legal right to representation. And if those assholes fucking found it, I’d be on the other side of that courtroom making sure they didn’t fuck with their kid or their ex. Making sure they got what was coming to them.

I stood up, righted my suit jacket, still feeling fucking buoyant because I was not having a date with Isabella Swan on...

“Edward Masen, Jake?”

Holy fuck. My body vibrated, my head snapped in the direction of the door, where the voice had come from. Her voice?

“Yeah? Do you know him?” a deep male voice answered.

The knob seemed to turn in slow motion.

“I don’t know,” came the reply.

It was her. Holy fuck.

The door swung open, Lauren popped her head in, and her brow immediately wrinkled when she saw me. I can only imagine how I must have looked. She raised her eyebrows in question, and I impatiently waived her in. She stepped aside to allow what was supposed to be Mr. Jacob Black to enter.

That’s when it clicked. Jake. The fucking giver of the nickname. The boyfriend.

“Maybe it’s just a coincide --” she was in the middle of saying, as she stepped into the office.

And there Bella stood, frozen with shock: her bright brown eyes, her hair in gentle curls that fell around her shoulders, holding the hand of some tall, dark and handsome type. Jake. I felt my caseload suddenly fill up. I had no room for him in my practice.

“Edward?”

I squeezed my eyes tight and opened them again. This had to be a fucking dream, or a nightmare, but no, she was standing about twenty feet away from me, in my office, with her boyfriend. And I had yet to say anything.

“Bella. Our lunch was on Saturday. You’re early,” I said, smiling, forcing myself to take a few steps towards my potential client and his girlfriend. Potential client my ass. My retainer instantaneously increased by ten thousand. Sadly, he wouldn’t be able to afford me.

“What lunch? You two know each other?” Jacob asked.

By now I should have offered Mr. Black a seat. But I had no desire to speak to the man, or the boy, as the case might be. He looked too young, too innocence, and too fucking nice. Damn it. He was nice. I could tell already.

“Edward, I mean Mr. Masen --” Bella began, flustered.

“No, just Edward,” I corrected.

“Edward, he was, um --” Bella gulped and looked between her boyfriend and me. I forced myself to take a step forward, then another. I was almost surprised that I held my hand out to the overgrown man-boy.

“I’m a patient of Dr. Swan’s. Carlisle Cullen is my uncle, and Dr. Swan and I met again yesterday, at his anniversary barbecue. It’s nice to meet you, Mr. Black. Dr. Swan mentioned you yesterday.” After I asked her out to lunch, I added silently.

“Thanks,” Bella said in my direction, smiling and ducking her eyes, letting her hair fall in front of her face.

“That’s just, well… What a small world, huh?” Jake said, laughing nervously, putting his arm around Bella’s shoulders.

I got it, nice guy, she’s yours. Try not to piss to mark your territory.

Bella kept her eyes on her shoes. She was wearing little ballet flats again. I guessed that they were her work shoes.

Comfortable and durable footwear.

Bella caught my eye and I couldn’t help grinning. Jacob Black cleared his throat, and I reminded myself that I was the person in charge of this little meeting.

“Please, Mr. Black, Dr. Swan, have a seat.”

But, with those words, Bella jumped a little, and her eyes met mine, again. It had only been about two seconds, but somehow, everything changed. I was floored by the panic and fear I saw in her eyes. She didn’t move, and Jacob rubbed her shoulder supportively. She melted into him until he was completely supporting her weight.

“Uh, Ed, I mean, Mr. Masen,” she began tentatively. “I mean… Jacob made this appointment.”

“I know,” I smiled, resisting the urge to touch her like Jacob Black was, to lend her my support too.

“He made this appointment… for me.”

“Right. Wait. For you?” Holy fuck. Little Bell. “For Vanessa?”

I watched Jacob furrow his brows. Clearly he didn’t have any idea that I’d met Bella’s daughter. In some distant recess of my brain I was pleased about that. But I couldn’t concentrate on that emotion at the moment. Bella had custody issues with Little Bell. Fuck.

“I can call you Edward?” Bella asked, seeming suddenly exasperated.

“Fu-, I mean, please. If I can call you --”

“Bella,” she added, answering my question before I could finish. “I don’t know, I don’t think, I think that maybe we have to--”

I saw panic rising inside her, filling her as she stood there leaning against her boyfriend. It reminded me of those old Looney Tunes cartoons, where you could see the water rising steadily in the characters’ eyes. But this wasn’t funny; I was fucking worried. Never in my presence had Bella looked anything except confident and maybe a little shy, never fucking insecure and frightened, cowering almost.

“Bella, sit down, please. You’re safe here. We should talk. You’re just here to talk. To interview an attorney about your case.”

“You?” she asked, her eyes searching mine. “You’re the attorney? You’re the best attorney?”

“I’m… an attorney: a family lawyer, specializing in child custody cases. I put the same dedication into my work that I put into my health.”

Bella smiled a little at that. But she still looked like she wanted to run.

“That means that I don’t rest until my clients and their children are safe and secure. You have the unique perspective to know that what I’m telling you is, quite literally, true.”

“I don’t know,” Bella mumbled, squeezing her eyes shut.

“Baby, what is it?” Jake asked as he pushed the hair behind her ear, the same way I’d always wanted to do. Fucker.

“Jake, can I talk to him alone?” Bella asked, nodding in my direction. “This is… complicated. He’s my patient. And, that kind of stuff, patient stuff, is confidential. Could you wait outside for a minute?”

Jacob looked between Bella and I, his brow still furrowed. It made his deep-set eyes look black and boorish. I could tell he didn’t like the idea. He’d made the appointment; he obviously wanted to be in charge. But they weren’t married. He was her boyfriend, not even her fiancé.

“Will it make you more comfortable?”

“It’s the only way I can do this, Jake. So we can get this straightened out.”

Jacob sighed, but I watched him quickly lock away all evidence of the displeasure he obviously felt about this impromptu arrangement. I wondered how many other emotions he’d locked inside for Bella. He nodded and slowly dropped his arm from her shoulders, never taking his eyes off of Bella. “Sure, Bells. Come get me when you’re done.” He stooped to kiss her on the cheek, and I think Bella stiffened in response.

“I’ll be outside, if you need me.”

Jacob nodded at me, as if there was some understanding between the two of us. I understood that he wasn’t my client, and that I was about to be alone with Bella, and that she was a frightened mess, much like I’d been in her office less than a week ago. The only difference was that I could never be as reassuring as she’d been when I was losing my shit. I’d try my fucking best, though.

Bella glanced at me and smiled stiffly, waiting for Jacob to close the door behind him before she continued. “Edward --”

“Bella.” There was no way I could put my desk between the two of us. I took her hand, and led her to one of the seats in front of my desk. I took the other seat. I wanted to believe that I would have dropped her hand, that I would have acted that professionally, but Bella’s hand clung to mine, and the decision was made. I tried my best to act like a lawyer and not a letch. Because, with my hand in hers, my next impulse was to stroke her cheek, to hold her in my arms and murmur in her ear that everything was going to be all right. She didn’t need that shit from me, though. She had the nice guy for that. Fucker.

“I don’t know if, after everything, you should be my lawyer.”

“I have to be your lawyer.”

“What?”

“Bella, there’s no fucking way I can have a casual lunch with you on Saturday and not need to know what the fuck is going on with you and Little Bell. And how could I sit back and eat when I knew you were getting inferior legal advice?”

“Inferior?”

“Bella, your boyfriend was right to make an appointment with me.” I tried to remain composed when I said ‘boyfriend’. She deserved a nice boyfriend. “No one will try harder for you in court than I will.”

“But… but… I don’t know. Already, we don’t have a patient-doctor relationship. I shouldn’t… will it upset the balance for you? Could you represent me, when I’ve, I don’t know, when we’ve…”

“Isabella, I don’t know exactly what you’re referring to, but especially after you told me I could call you when I was scared out of my fucking mind, and when you fed me so I didn’t pass out before going back to the office, and when you told me I should be fucking happy, and when you gave me a ride home and saved me from my fucking nutcase of an ex, and when you took me to get my first watermelon ice in a quarter of a century. After that, I owe you. I told you last night that I knew what I was capable of. This is what I am fucking capable of. More capable than anyone else in Philadelphia, to be fucking honest.”

I handed her the potential client handout Laurent had instructed me to review in each of these introductory visits. It was bullshit and he knew it. I did the choosing in situations like this, but he was right in that it made them want me more.

How to Choose the Attorney That’s Right for You

• Ask about the fee schedule. Only hire a lawyer you can afford.

• Ask about your specific legal situation. Does it appear that your potential lawyer will tailor his work to your specific situation? Do you think they will provide excellent services?

• Consider the intangibles. Do you think the attorney is honest? Is it an attorney that you think you could get along and click with? Don’t try to force a square peg in a round hole. The ability of you and your attorney to maintain a good relationship is paramount.

If you answered no to any of these questions after your meeting with the attorneys here at D&M, here are the names of five other firms in Philadelphia that you might consider consulting with:

Blah, blah, blah… The idea was totally stolen from the movie A Miracle on 34th Street, when fucking Santa Claus sent Macy’s customers to Gimble’s. But people ate it up. It made us seem more honest; it made them willing to pay more. I hated that fucking list, but still, every word of it was true.

I watched Bella scan the page, and then flip it over to see if there was anything on the backside. There wasn’t.

“This list isn’t as inspired as yours. It was put together by marketing, for fuck’s sake, not a smart-ass physician. But everything on it is still true. Let’s just go through it together, okay?”

Bella nodded, and let go of my hand. She kept it balled up in her lap.

“Bullet number one: You work for Carlisle, so you can afford me. If you can’t, I’ll call him this morning, because then he’s not paying you enough. You’re the best doctor I’ve seen in years.”

Bella smiled and I thought her eyes might be tearing a little. She almost looked like a kid in that big leather chair. The truth was that I would have made sure Little Bell was safe for fucking free. But that was too much to lay on Bella at the moment; I didn’t even understand where that impulse came from. I’d just met the kid yesterday.

“Second, I’d need to know what’s going on, Bella. But no matter your case, I’m sure you know how hard I’d work to represent you. You know that better than any other potential client that’s walked in here.”

Yeah, that was code for the fact that I was fucking crazy. But she’d still asked about me yesterday, she still gave me a ride. Maybe I was acceptably crazy in her eyes.

“This last part is probably the most important. You need an attorney that you click with, that you could have a good working relationship with. That you feel comfortable with. Bella, how do you feel about me?”

“I don’t know if comfortable is the right word,” she said in a small voice that inexplicably tore at my heart. We were on the same page, at least. I felt charged when I was around her, alive and on fire. My torn heart fluttered and I bit my bottom lip.

“So, what do you think? Or maybe you have some questions you’ve prepared.”

“No, nothing that fits… that fits this… I didn’t know, Edward. Jake made the appointment. I couldn’t concentrate enough to call people. I guess I didn’t want to think it could all be happening again. But you?” Bella asked, searching my eyes for something. “It’s like a joke, or something.”

I wasn’t sure how to take that. She thought I was a joke?

“Do you have a yacht and a Victorian beach house on Cape May?” She was suddenly smiling again, but I was missing something.

“No yacht and no beach house, but Carlisle and Esme’s place is on Cape May. They’re all Victorian in that town.”

“Close enough,” she whispered under her breath.

“Excuse me?”

“What about lunch?” she asked, her eyes cautiously guarded.

Right. Our un-date.

“It was a bad idea. You’re my patient. And now this,” she continued haltingly.

“I could find another doctor if it would make things easier.”

“I don’t want you to do that. But lunch?”

“A working lunch, if you hire me. It’s not a date if you don’t.”

“And I could tell you about James then?”

James, so that was the fucker’s name. Whatever his intentions, James didn’t have a fucking chance in hell.

“You’d better. What’s going on with him right now, though?”

“Almost nothing. I haven’t heard from him for three years. I have sole custody of Ness, he’s never had the money to pay support, and I didn’t want anything from him, anyway. He was back in Washington, as far as I knew. But I just found out that he’s moving here, or to Trenton, I guess. And I don’t think there’s any reason in the world that he’d move here, except that Ness and I are here. He’s going to try something, I just know it. And he’s been having me watched,” she added, almost as an afterthought.

Holy shit. Well, now I’d have to struggle to keep myself from stalking her to make sure she was safe. Better yet, I had someone else that could do it for me. It would be less creepy and more efficient, all in one.

“I’ll call my guy in. We’ll see what Jenks can dig up before Saturday. Get all of our ducks in a row so we’re ready when we hear from this asshole. Excuse me, James, I mean.”

“So that’s it? You’re my lawyer?”

“If you let me, Bella. Let me do this for you and Little Bell. As my way of saying thanks, for everything you’ve done for me. You seriously have no idea.”

Bella smiled a little and quickly looked out the window instead of meeting my eyes. “You’re hired, Edward,” she said softly.

“You won’t be sorry, Bella.” I was happier than I’d been the first time I landed a client, five years ago. “What should I bring on Saturday?”

“To our working lunch?” she asked, turning that pretty smile on me again. Was she making fun of me? I couldn’t tell, so I didn’t respond. “Bring your iPod, or Ness will never let me hear the end of it. But maybe upload something without swearing, or then I’ll hear it from Jake. And Jake likes beer. Anything you can only get when you go over the bridge into Jersey. How does that sound?”

“Fair enough. Uh, should we call your boyfriend in here?”

“No, we’re done, I think. We don’t need him.”

I smiled a little. I certainly didn’t need him.

“Lauren will go over the paperwork with you outside. Here’s my card. Call me anytime, day or night, if anything comes up.”

Bella’s fingertips brushed against mine, again. I wasn’t shy this time. I took her hand in mind, just enjoying the way it felt when my skin touched hers. She didn’t pull away as she stood up, smiling down at me where I sat. “Should I walk myself out?” she giggled. Fuck, I loved that sound.

I stood awkwardly to my feet, my hand still in hers. Standing, Bella twined her fingers with mine. “Thanks,” she whispered.

“For what?”

“I don’t know. I’m just glad we met.”

“Four separate times in six days,” I mused, walking her toward the door that led the way to Lauren and fucking Jake.

“Yeah, I guess it would have been hard for us not to meet, all things considered. I’m glad, all the same.”

Bella dropped my hand as I opened the door, and Jacob shot out of his seat.

“I have a lawyer, Jake.” Bella cheered.

“Hey, that’s awesome,” Jake replied, crossing the office in two long strides, then holding Bella’s shoulders in his big hands, kissing her lips chastely. The kid was taller than I was, I noticed, and strong, but not bulky like Emmett. He seemed almost disproportioned, like he was still growing into his body, or something. I wondered idly how old he was. I knew Bella was younger than me, but really, Bella deserved more than a kid.

Bella pulled away from her boyfriend. “I should go settle things with Lauren. I’ve got to get going soon.”

“Back to the office?” I asked.

“No, Carlisle gave me the afternoon off. Alice arranged it, actually.”

“Alice?”

“Your cousin, yeah. She asked Carlisle if we could meet for a long lunch. And since I covered for him last week, he told me to make an afternoon of it. She said it had something to do with a big brainstorm and her business and she couldn’t wait another day to see me.”

“Sounds like Alice.” I was fucking calling Alice as soon as Bella left the office. “Until Saturday?” I asked, trying my best to make my voice sound composed and business-like.

“Saturday,” Bella agreed, grasping my hand in hers. I thought I saw her shiver a little and blush, and I rubbed discrete little circles over her palm with my thumb.

“It’s been a pleasure, Bella.”

“Thanks, uh, Edward, for taking us on,” Jake added, awkwardly using my first name.

“Yep, nice to meet you too, Mr. Black,” I lied.

Jacob took Bella’s other hand and tugged at it gently. “Come on, Bells, let’s not take anymore of his time.”

Bella squeezed my hand again before letting go. “Bye.”

“I’ll see you Saturday, Isabella.”

I watched for a moment as Lauren ushered them to her desk and pulled out some paperwork. I snuck another glance for good measure before closing the office door.

Holy fuck.

I took a seat at my desk and tried to process everything that had just happened. What the fucking fuck? What had I just done?

I knew the answer. I was doing what I could for Bella. I was doing what I knew how to do well. I’d make things right for her. I wouldn’t fucking tear her down like I’d done with Tanya. She’d be glad I was in her life, the only way I knew how to be. And I’d guaranteed that. I couldn’t fucking cross that line with a client, the line my body was begging me to cross. Nope. She was safe with this arrangement, and I’d get to be with her, more than once. My fucking un-lunch just turned into a whole fucking un-relationship, and I couldn’t fucking be happier.
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The Practice of Love