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Cellulose & Steel	By : Not-Taylor Category: Misc Books > FemmeSlash Views: 1028 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I don't own HDG or its characters and I don't make money from this work.

Chapter List
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With teeth that sting a little from the strange gelatinous substance used to brush them, Ember prepares to contact Evlen to see what he said… probably half an hour ago now. That’s an embarrassing delay. She hopes he won’t be offended, especially after she asked such a weird question. Still, she doesn’t regret having Verda finish the explanation.
[Ruby Trunk]> len_pickle: Ember, what did I see?
[membership_plan_11]> chat: You said you remembered.
[Ruby Trunk]> len_pickle: I know, but what? I saw a lot of things today.
[membership_plan_11]> chat: In the bedroom.
She can’t bring herself to call it Verda’s bedroom because even though that’s true, it also feels really weird to say to Evlen, now that they’re… entangled. Stars, that sounds like a word that they would use, doesn’t it? Shameful, but… Ember would rather not think about the implication.
[Ruby Trunk]> len_pickle: I see
[Ruby Trunk]> len_pickle: What about that?
[membership_plan_11]> chat: Me. Don't make me say it.
[Ruby Trunk]> len_pickle: You?
[membership_plan_11]> chat: Me. It’s embarrassing and I don’t want to say anything if you don’t actually remember.
There's another pause.
[Ruby Trunk]> len_pickle: I asked my mistress because I had no idea what you were talking about. She told me why you’re upset. Honestly, I thought that’s just how terran women were and I didn’t think about it too much. It didn’t bother me.
[Ruby Trunk]> len_pickle: And I’m sorry if I made you uncomfortable. I was guessing about what I was doing and hoping you’d correct me if I started to go wrong.
[Ruby Trunk]> len_pickle: And you were fine! Don’t worry.
Awww, look at him. In a way, that’s a bit disturbing, but mostly it’s a relief. That’s probably as normal of a reaction as anyone could have had to the surprise that Ember stupidly sprang on him. She’s pleased that Evlen didn’t have a problem with the part she’d played in their afternoon as well.
[membership_plan_11]> chat: I’m glad. I panicked a little after you left. The part you had to ask your affini about is kind of embarrassing, so I’d rather you not mention it to anyone.
[Ruby Trunk]> len_pickle: I’d never think to.
[membership_plan_11]> chat: Thanks. Anyway, you’re really feeling well? You weren’t dizzy or anything?
[Ruby Trunk]> len_pickle: I felt a bit tired, but that’s normal when I’ve been out most of the day.
[membership_plan_11]> chat: If that’s normal for you, then I won’t worry any more.
[Ruby Trunk]> len_pickle: Thanks for being so concerned, Ember. It’s really sweet.
The pilot feels her heart melting slightly. It’s different from how Ginger felt. Is this heterosexuality?
[membership_plan_11]> chat: It’s a shame you couldn’t stay or just rest for a bit. We could’ve talked more.
[Ruby Trunk]> len_pickle: You’re right. I don’t know why I didn’t think of that. Maybe that’s a sign I was tired enough to leave hahaha.
[membership_plan_11]> chat: True LOL.
[membership_plan_11]> chat: But I’m actually worried about something else, too. Did I make you feel pressured, at all? I’m aware of how intense I get in general, and… You know what i mean.
[Ruby Trunk]> len_pickle: No, not at all! If anything, I was surprised you wanted to take a walk first.
That doesn’t sound right. It’s time for an experiment. Crafting one with which to test her… What is Evlen again? That’s an important question that’s going to need an answer sooner than the next few years or Ember will regret it. Experimenting on Evlen makes her feel a little guilty, but it’s for a good cause, and that’s a sufficient justification, since she’s not planning to hurt him at all. That would be awful, especially when concern over having done so is the entire reason she’d messaged him! That makes her feel guilty too. Fortunately for Ember’s ethical sensibilities, she can’t come up with anything that could be tested over text. If they could video chat perhaps…
[membership_plan_11]> chat: Did you stop feeling as tired once you started to ride home?”
[Ruby Trunk]> len_pickle: A bit, now that you mention it. How did you know?
[membership_plan_11]> chat: Just guessing. Did you see how those two were looking at us?
[Ruby Trunk]> len_pickle: No?
[membership_plan_11]> chat: They were really smug about it. They must’ve thought they’d figured out something secret.
[Ruby Trunk]> len_pickle: Was it supposed to be a secret? I thought that was usually considered part of typical floret enrichment.
Enrichment? Ember wants to throw up. On top of everything else, how can the Affini make themselves sound so corporate?
[membership_plan_11]> chat: Verda said something creepy about our smells.
[Ruby Trunk]> len_pickle: My mistress said a few years ago that she has a really good sense of smell, and apparently mine is already better than a terran’s, so I’d believe anything she said about that.
[membership_plan_11]> chat: Oh.
[membership_plan_11]> chat: They both know and it’s really obvious how they feel.
[Ruby Trunk]> len_pickle: That’s good. Why didn’t they tell me about that? Do you know?
[membership_plan_11]> chat: I have no idea. Maybe I made some comment that made them think to tell me. Why is it good that they have feelings about this?
[Ruby Trunk]> len_pickle: I trust my mistress’s judgment about you, especially since she agrees with me.
[membership_plan_11]> chat: Doesn’t it feel strange that they’re intervening in our interactions? Why should anyone come between us?
[Ruby Trunk]> len_pickle: Because we’re florets. That’s just how it works. It was very weird for me at first, too, but I got used to it.
[membership_plan_11]> chat: But… What if I wanted you for myself? What if your mistress tried to keep us apart?
Ember cringes at herself for writing that, but the inspiration was too good to resist. Something tells her that it will work as the experiment she’d been looking for.
[Ruby Trunk]> len_pickle: I wouldn't like that.
[membership_plan_11]> chat: What would you do about that, precious Evlen?
[Ruby Trunk]> len_pickle: I would say that I regretted becoming her floret.
Those are extremely strong words for somebody who’s basically a stranger. How could Ember uproot a relationship that’s lasted contently for years this easily? The thrill of triumph drifts into the sting of having done something awful (twice, once intentionally). No, it’s not just triumph, it’s something else too. Regardless, the conclusion is obvious: that Evlen’s thoughts aren’t properly arranged. Everything he typed was blatantly because he knew that’s what Ember wanted to read.
What a horrible thought. If Evlen’s emotions are derived from biorhythms, then nothing between them is real- of the things that existed since their last meeting. So everything but the last day was real. That’s a relief but not a great one. Moreover, everything that happened will be lost as soon as his “mistress” tucks him into bed for the night.
[membership_plan_11]> chat: I’m glad I haven’t upset you, Evlen. Good night.”
[Ruby Trunk]> len_pickle: Good night, Miss Ember.
[membership_plan_11]> chat: Why did you call me that?
[Ruby Trunk]> len_pickle: What?
[Ruby Trunk]> len_pickle: Spots on the beetle’s carapace
[Ruby Trunk]> len_pickle: Excuse me. I shouldn’t speak that way to you.
[membership_plan_11]> chat: You didn’t realize you were saying that?
[Ruby Trunk]> len_pickle: No. I’m sorry. I must be really tired. I won’t do it again.
Ember can’t force herself to set down the tablet. Disgusting. She knows what she’s doing. Filth.
[membership_plan_11]> chat: I don’t mind. It’s kind of cute.
Fucking worthless piece of scrap. Along with self loathing, jealousy washes over the pilot as she contemplates that Cia Endiwai has Evlen all to herself. Of course, to suggest that anything else would be a worthy outcome of the situation would be “floret” “theft” and Verda wouldn’t tolerate it.
[Ruby Trunk]> len_pickle: Um. OK. I really am tired, so a real good night.
Ember feels her cheeks burning with embarrassment over having finished the conversation that way. Is this how they think? Honestly, she’s barely any better than the weeds if she’s going to talk to a person so… demeaningly. He’s not a toy, and he’s certainly not… She’s certainly not one of them, so it doesn’t matter! All Ember wanted was… She isn’t sure what she wanted from Evlen, actually. He’s a xeno. That can’t work. But the squeezing she feels just below her heart… Maybe Verda’s right, and she can free herself by “stopping” her “feralism.” Then… No, that’s wrong! She can’t just… Or can she? She hates how she’s even going to ask this question, but she has to hear the answer.
“Is it ever the case that a floret wants to switch owners?”
“It’s extremely rare and indicates the rapchik has issues far beyond anything privately fixable, or of course if the floret has an important attachment prior to domestication.”
“So it doesn’t happen?”
“Even more rarely than it’s requested, if I haven’t mixed up that fact with another?”
That isn’t ideal. Ember can’t invite him to… Wait a minute. No. Evlen doesn’t know everything and his offer wasn’t real. Spending decades with his “mistress” sounds vile regardless. She can’t imagine how he does it.
“How many florets regret who domesticated them?”
“None. Technically not none, but as close to it as statistics allow. Why do you ask, Ember?”
“Evlen mentioned one who does. Or could. Or something.”
Verda sighs. “I hope that that floret and his owner come to a better understanding of one another. It truly is remarkable how so many individuals find ways to think themselves into misery in a society dedicated to their happiness.”
“What does that mean?’
“Only that domestication proves the correct resolution in the end, almost every single time.”
“Almost.”
“Yes, pet. Almost. Each of those fail- You’re delaying your bedtime, aren’t you?”
“What?”
“It’s time for bed, Ember.”
“I still need to check in with my egg.”
“You should’ve done that earlier.”
“But I didn’t have time, and you took a long time to explain things.”
“Very well, darling. You can write briefly to your egg. Come to bed when you’re finished. Or, if you’d rather, just message her from there. You’re not tied to this room, you know.”
Ember knows, but doesn’t particularly care for the implication of that fact.
“Fine.”
The affini glides back to her bedroom, where she slips into her bed, leaving the door open. At any time, Ember could follow her. Thankfully, Verda’s reading something and not focusing on distracting Ember, allowing her to see how Lysander’s been faring. She hopes she’ll be up by now? Not have gone to bed yet? That’s a way to start the conversation. Good. Then she can swing the conversation back to being a girl.
[membership_plan_11]> official: So Ly. What’s your schedule over there? Are you still on home time?
[Dephinni_C]> ls_684co: We’re actually inside all the time so yes. I literally just got up. I’d say you woke me up but usually I don’t wake up to my tablet. Anyway, I have my shift in a bit.
[Dephinni_C]> ls_684co: What about you? Do those weeds have you on some weird xenotime where everything’s different depending on the day of the week?”
[membership_plan_11]> official: No, same as on Terra. It’s almost bedtime here.
[Dephinni_C]> ls_684co: You have a bedtime?
[membership_plan_11]> official: I know. It’s stupid, but I’m expected to keep a regular schedule. I’m not sure why since I don’t have a job here…
[Dephinni_C]> ls_684co: You don't work in the mines?
[membership_plan_11]> official: No mines. It’s a ship. Mostly I sit around looking “cute” for my keeper.
[Dephinni_C]> ls_684co: You just sit? Fuck that
[membership_plan_11]> official: I had somebody visit today. He’s a xeno, but he’s the best person on the ship.
[Dephinni_C]> ls_684co: Did they make you have sex with it?
[membership_plan_11]> official: What?
[Dephinni_C]> ls_684co: The last weed commercial I saw was where they talked about that, and xeno “love”
[membership_plan_11]> official: What...
What? Just... What?
[Dephinni_C]> ls_684co: Sorry. I shudl’ve known you were too pure for that
[membership_plan_11]> official: What do you mean by that?
[Dephinni_C]> ls_684co: You know. Nothing Never mind.
She’s insane. Repression made Lysander completely lose contact with reality. The poor thing has started thinking like a parody.
[membership_plan_11]> official: ...
No reply comes for a while. Ly must be realizing how idiotic that comment was.
[Dephinni_C]> ls_684co: Sorry
[Dephinni_C]> ls_684co: shit
[Dephinni_C]> ls_684co: Why did I say that? You arent even straight. I’m sorry, Ember.
This could be useful, if… Stars, Ly’d better not be one of those…
[membership_plan_11]> official: Do you think about those sorts of things a lot?
[Dephinni_C]> ls_684co: No
[membership_plan_11]> official: You can be honest with me. I’d rather understand than destroy. That’s how I remember I’m better than the enemy.
[Dephinni_C]> ls_684co: I don’t. Im not a pervert.
[membership_plan_11]> official: Really? All right, Ly. If it’s something you ever want to vent about I’ll read what you say.
Since no response comes quickly, Ember uses her free time to examine the manual for her new tablet some more. In addition to the codes that would hack Ly’s device, her room can be hacked as well. An addendum to that section details how even the doors can be manipulated, depending on the quality of the local security system. Lysander could be woken in a hundred different ways at a moment’s notice, or locked away to force a confrontation, and nobody would be able to interrupt. Her clocks could be altered. There’s no shortage of manipulation, and Ember feels unnaturally tempted to experiment.
Trying not to think about that, her thoughts drift to the rest of the day, and how she committed an atrocity against somebody she cared about. He didn’t seem upset at all, and actually he seemed happy about what had happened, but that might make it worse. Ember knows precisely why he has those feelings, and that they’re her fault. Who is she to determine such things, to make a person dance like a puppet, an action figure, a doll… All she wanted was physical affection from somebody who didn’t see her as property. Her response to Evlen’s interest? To take by force what wasn’t hers. And he’d probably have been willing anyway!
Instead of being patient- Ember can’t really blame herself, since she wasn’t aware of it at the time. Why would it be possible, let alone unintentionally? She’s done so much to fight against the Compact, how can she become just like them as soon as she gains a speck of their physiology?
No reply comes in the next while, so the daring agent of the Resistance puts the tablet away in order to go to bed. Verda was wrong about her needing to go to bed quickly, but it’s been a long day and she’s actually tired, too. Staying up for the sake of it won’t help at all. Maybe she’s lost Ly with that gambit, but maybe not. She’ll know by morning.
And now, for one of the worst parts of the day. Ember walks over to Verda’s bed, pausing next to it as Verda leans over and moves aside the covers. She puts down her tablet, giving Ember her full attention and placing a vine on the light switch. Two vile creatures, one who tried to destroy somebody’s free will and one who succeeded. Of course, Verda must’ve done that before, but asking about previous florets isn’t how Ember wants to spend the night. She lies down as Verda pulls the sheets over them both and turns off the lights, sighing and making sure she’s as close to the edge as possible.
“Good night, darling.”
Ember says nothing.
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Cellulose & Steel