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Cellulose & Steel	By : Not-Taylor Category: Misc Books > FemmeSlash Views: 1028 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I don't own HDG or its characters and I don't make money from this work.

Chapter List
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“Can you tell me now, or will you make me eat lunch first.”
Only after saying that does Ember realize it could be construed as unacceptably feralist. Though Verda doesn’t seem particularly interested in enforcing that variety of censorship at the moment, the threat is grating, making the pilot without a ship feel continuously uncomfortable. She washes away the last of her pancakes with the rest of her papaya mango juice (which tastes like nothing she’s ever drank or eaten) and sets the vine that had been holding her cup (which she now notices she was allowed to drink from unassisted) in her lap. Terrans oughtn’t to have vines, but such are circumstances. Her head is throbbing from the medications she’s on and she feels a bit hyper from the deluge of paperwork still whirling around in her mind.
“Merry Christmas, Ember,” Verda says with a smile.
“What?” The whirling stops.
“Today is the twenty fifth day of the twelfth month of your calendar. It’s Christmas.”
“Generally, filling out paperwork isn’t a very nice way to spend Christmas morning. You’re supposed to open presents and eat candy, not… sign forms.”
“Many affini would consider that to be an entirely satisfying celebration, and if not that, they would consider quality floret bonding time to be quite merry. Such a strange word, and one I’ve never heard outside the Christmas context…” Verda trails off, thinking about what she just said, probably.
“Is it really? I guess I wasn’t keeping track.”
In war, there’s never time for that sort of silliness. Unlike in the days of the Christmas Truce that ended the First World War, conflicts with xenos can’t rely on compassion, decency, and sharing the same holidays. All of Ember’s training taught her that one day is no different from another, until every last one of the enemy has been eradicated. She was never very sure of that part since it sounded like something a xeno would say, but it’s been starting to make more sense lately.
“Really. One of the things florets miss most about being away from their former homes is the regular celebrations. I suppose Christmas wasn’t particularly significant to you, then.”
It was, but that was a long time ago. “It’s been so long… I haven’t even thought about it in years. I have a birthday, too. I haven’t thought about that, either. What’s your point in telling me?”
“Would you like to celebrate? I could have a tree compiled, and we could decorate it. We could have a feast, if you’d like. There are ancient songs to sing.”
“No presents?”
“There’s nothing you could give me which I don’t already have access to, and there’s nothing I would give you as a gift that I would not already give you.” That makes sense.
“I’m not interested, then. Thanks for telling me, though. It helps time feel more real.”
“More real?”
“If I don’t have a way of keeping track of the days, I start to feel stagnant. It hurts. I didn’t have the problem when I was flying, obviously, but now, I have no idea how to-” tell one day from another. That’s not a good thing to admit to.
“You don’t have a calendar on your tablet?”
“No.”
With that, Ember suddenly remembers that she was supposed to give daily reports on her progress, and that she should have a response regarding her question by now, as well. This is what she was talking about. When there’s nothing to differentiate the days, they blend together. Eventually, the question of whether a daily task was done fades into confusion, the memory of the event buried under a thousand identical memories of the task. The motivation to continue dissipates, leaving nothing but a torpid husk that no longer cares about anything in particular. That’s what the Affini want to turn every free Terran into.
“I’ll install one, pet. That way you can keep track of things, too. You’ll be able to organize your time better, so that I don’t end up interrupting you when we need to go somewhere.”
It’s a trick. Why would Verda try to trick her that way? What if it isn’t a trick? The affini brings the tablet to the table and pushes buttons on it, smirking a little. Did she just read Ember’s messages to Evlen? Or that the dictionary really was there? She hands it back without a word.
Since this isn’t the tablet that Ember wanted to look at, she picks it up and walks back to the couch, which seems increasingly comfortable with each passing day. It’s as though it’s been adapting to her shape, molding itself to be comfier, perhaps to eventually trap her and eat her.
“Ember? Speaking of schedules, we’ll be visiting Lily again. She has something for you. Remember to respect faer pronouns and to thank faer for the device you received yesterday.”
Thanking her is probably smart. “Right.”
Finally, Ember is able to escape from Verda. She flops onto the couch, where she picks her tablet up off the table. Nobody seems to have been touching it, and fortunately it hasn’t run out of power. One message is listed, from Ly. Verda probably deleted the notifications by messing with the other one, so she checks that, too. There’s a new calendar icon, and Raven seems to have replied.
[Ruby Trunk]> miss_raven: Thank you for your eager query, Plan. I await a formal report as to the status of your operation, as what little I have read pertaining to your feralist asset is thoroughly adorable. Please explain further how you became so certain of their gender in such a short time, also.
[Ruby Trunk]> miss_raven: As you’re aware, Terran personal devices are wirelessly networked with central communication hubs, which are then networked with one another for long distance communication in ideal circumstances. By using this infrastructure, signals encoded in an electromagnetic format can be directed to an appropriate address. Countermeasures to security are taken to ensure that our communications go undetected, along with measures to mitigate the risk of observation by analog means. This is implemented so as to originate from the asset’s personal device in order to ensure that only those receptive receive the transmissions.
[Ruby Trunk]> miss_raven: Occasional mental haze and suggestibility are normal consequences of some measures used to ensure the continued reliability of an asset, particularly over long time periods during which neurological changes may occur. Testing has proven that this exposure is harmless. Most terrans are reported as finding communications from their handlers soothing and tend to become increasingly relaxed. That is part of the process of domestication and a very positive sign for an affini who wishes to take possession of the seed in question.
[Ruby Trunk]> miss_raven: Contact is initially made by sending a transmission to every possible domain address, which is less visible to unfriendly examination. Your asset is entirely secure, but your concern is commendable. Your communications are indistinguishable from any internal transmission at their location.
[Ruby Trunk]> miss_raven: I hope this helped. Do Well!
[membership_plan_11]> chat: There has to be more to it than that. Contact was made far too easily.
[Ruby Trunk]> miss_raven: You’re sharp. I like that! We may or may not have infiltrated a certain production line of personal devices before making contact, to ensure a proper dissemination of potential contacts. ;)
Writing a report, or in other words, more bureaucratic nonsense, wasn’t at all what Ember was hoping for this morning. It’s almost noon! How is she supposed to get anything important done if she has to keep dealing with Affini formality? Ugh. Raven can have her answer as soon as Ly’s been dealt with.
[Dephinni_C]> ls_684co: I know that you’re some random stranger, but look, I’ve been thinking about this all day, and I’ve been thinking about you all day. I’m starved for news, Ember. Even if I think you’re human, I can’t stop thinking you’re working for the affini, that you’re going to turn me into a plantfucker just like you, that humanity is going to die with me cheering from the wrong team. But I can’t help feeling that you mean well. Promise you won’t laugh if I tell you something personal? I’ve never told anyone this.
[membership_plan_11]> chat: I promise, Ly. You don't have to tell me if you'd really prefer not to.
[Dephinni_C]> ls_684co: Ever since I saw that episode of Brendon and Shellary, I’ve had nightmares about that
[Dephinni_C]> ls_684co: Nightmares about be taken away and turned into a girl. It’s embarrassing and i know it’s pathetic, but it’s true and whenever somebody talks about those weeds I start thinking about what would happen if one of them found me and kidnapped me and made me wear a dress and all that. It’s terrifying
So that’s what Ly’s trigger was. The Brendon and Shellary Show was an old style “children’s show” where a lot of unnerving things happened to one or both of the two siblings of unstated age. Ember is extremely happy not to be able to see into the minds of the writers, but she can only surmise that lots of drugs were involved in the creative process. She remembers it being extremely uncomfortable to watch reruns. Very low brow, but very popular. Seventy years ago. Watching that would certainly have some effect on someone. Even though she hasn’t seen many episodes, Ember knows what’s being referenced very well. Brandon was taken away to another realm through a magic portal by a monster who turned him into his wife. Not at all something to show kids, but nothing explicit happened, either, just a man being made to look very pretty and matrimonial. Ember knows precisely what was going on in Ly’s mind when she saw that for the first time. What a see- What an egg. An egg who will soon hatch into a dysphoric mess.
[membership_plan_11]> chat: That’s all? Don’t worry about me, this xeno wasn’t scary. The xenos I’ve met have been cute and kind of tame, just like we were told they all were before first contact with the Affini.
[Dephinni_C]> ls_684co: They’re tame what about us.
[membership_plan_11]> chat: It depends. I probably wouldn’t be allowed to talk to anyone who wasn’t obviously slavified.
[Dephinni_C]> ls_684co: That's true
[Dephinni_C]> ls_684co: Thanks for being so understanding. I still think about that episode some nights.
[membership_plan_11]> chat: Being turned into a girl? Is that normal for guys?
[Dephinni_C]> ls_684co: Of course. We like boobs, so why not have a pair around all day? Hahaha.
No it is not, but Ember’s going to pretend not to know that. The poor thing…
[membership_plan_11]> chat: What about the rest? You can’t take advantage of any of that if it’s attached, can you?
[Dephinni_C]> ls_684co: Of course you can. Or do you not know what I mean by that?
[Dephinni_C]> ls_684co: Shit I did it again, Sorry
[membership_plan_11]> chat: Don’t worry. I’m the one pressuring you with weird questions.
[Dephinni_C]> ls_684co: It’s fine. Telling someone feels good.
[membership_plan_11]> chat: Really? Then I’ve got to know. If you were a girl, would you date guys?
[Dephinni_C]> ls_684co: Not when there are lesbians around
[Dephinni_C]> ls_684co: Not to imply anything about you specifically
[Dephinni_C]> ls_684co: Men aren’t always very nice. I wouldn’t like that, even if I did want to be with one from a physical standpoint
[membership_plan_11]> chat: You seem nice.
Ember can almost feel her target blushing through the screen. She wonders how long Ly will spend spinning in an improvised skirt after she hatches.
[Dephinni_C]> ls_684co: Thanks. You too.
[Dephinni_C]> ls_684co: I’m guessing none of what I described happens over there.
[membership_plan_11]> chat: From the show? It does. There are unironic plantfuckers everywhere. I try to avoid any of that as much as I can but it’s hard when they’re doing things in public.
[Dephinni_C]> ls_684co: They do?
[membership_plan_11]> chat: These weeds are shameless, Ly. You have no idea. They brag about it to one another. You’d never believe what they say when they don’t think anyone’s listening. It’s horrible.
[Dephinni_C]> ls_684co: What?
[membership_plan_11]> chat: You don't want to know.
[Dephinni_C]> ls_684co: i want to know
[membership_plan_11]> chat: They literally see people as property and they dress their captives up like dolls and have tea parties and put them on xenodrugs so they can’t form the thought of fighting back, and they just loll there in hedonism. Then there are xenodrugs that make it so the victim can’t think about anything but touching vines. You’re the first free person I’ve talked to in a week.
[Dephinni_C]> ls_684co: You’ve only been there a week? I thought it was longer somehow
[membership_plan_11]> chat: I talked to a captain, but he was an idiot and almost as bad. He had to repaint his ship in order to not be domesticated. Something tells me that…
“Verda, did you ever find out what happened to the captain we picked up and his crew?”
“They’re all florets now, if I recall. I remember a little article about them all being placed under wardship on the way to their destination, but I don’t think any of them made it there.”
“That’s two days from when they arrived at most. I remember how fast y-your ships travel.” She slows down as she realizes that she’s admitting xeno technological superiority. The reminder of having a weed hyperdrive in her brain is very uncomfortable.
“Yes, darling. I’m aware of that.”
The affini returns her prisoner’s astonished look with one of boredom.
“They were- They gave up in less than two days?”
“That’s very common. Humans tend to be far too desperate for affection. I would’ve thought they’d satisfy one another’s needs without judgment, having spent so long together, but evidently not.” That’s horrifying.
[membership_plan_11]> chat: I just checked. None of them made it.
[Dephinni_C]> ls_684co: None?
[membership_plan_11]> chat: None. They’re all “pets” now. I didn’t think it was that bad. They weren’t strong enough to stay free, even when they were allowed to.
[Dephinni_C]> ls_684co: How bad is what the Affini do?
[membership_plan_11]> chat: Xenodrugs, depending on whether they think you need them. They vibrate your brain into mulch until you’re incapable of doing anything but moaning and cooing at them until they pet your head and call you a good girl. I hated when they tried that with me.
[Dephinni_C]> ls_684co: You're not a good girl?
[membership_plan_11]> chat: No. Are you?
There’s a long pause after that message. Ember snickers. This is too easy.
[Dephinni_C]> ls_684co: Of course not.
[membership_plan_11]> chat: I didn’t think so. By the way, why doesn’t your autocorrect work?
[Dephinni_C]> ls_684co: I don’t have one and my hands are cold.
[membership_plan_11]> chat: Seriously?
[Dephinni_C]> ls_684co: i can’t afford one. and We’re running a bit low on fuel. Keeping the temperature a few degrees lowee will let us survive another few months.
[membership_plan_11]> chat: But you’re clearly freezing.
[Dephinni_C]> ls_684co: It's fine.
[membership_plan_11]> chat: Really? I wouldn’t want to make your fingers too chilly.
[Dephinni_C]> ls_684co: Can you voice? That’s better if you won’t be caught
[membership_plan_11]> chat: I think this thing has a microphone. I should be able to get away from my personal demon at some point in the future.
[Dephinni_C]> ls_684co: Great. Then I cancall you later?
[membership_plan_11]> chat: Right. Ask first so I can hide
[Dephinni_C]> ls_684co: I’m to my extra shift now. I haven’t figured out what we’re digging yet
[membership_plan_11]> chat: Goodbye, Ly, take care of yourself.
She doesn’t say anything more. This was an extremely productive conversation. Ember quickly types up a report explaining that her contact had admitted to consistently fantasizing about being a girl, and probably would be willing to do so if the choice were offered. That’s very close to a complete success. With a little more trust, she can probably reveal her secret and get Ly to beg to transition. Unfortunately, Ember won’t be able to make that happen, but she’ll give the best advice she can. That makes her feel a little guilty, but Ly’s base will be dead soon anyway, and it’s better to be dead than an affini’s property. Really, she’s saving her seed a lot of heartache by not letting her know about Affini medicine.
Stars, the ethical implications aren’t going away, are they? The harder Ember tries to focus on literally anything else, the more they pop up. It feels almost cruel to abandon Ly to her fate, without any real friends. Soon, she’ll have to give the poor thing up because she’s not actually an affini, but she’s just proving she can get somebody to accept herself without starting any drama. That’s trivial and is about to happen, probably in the next couple of days. But then what? How can she live with herself after what she’s doing? Ly is going to be stuck with a bunch of bigots who think they’re the next step in human evolution, and most of them are probably dumber than cavemen. And Ly’s cold, too! There has to be something Ember can do. There has to be something she can change about C Base in order to help out. Anything else would be… If a word exists, Ember doesn’t know what it is. There’s a way to help, she knows it. She just has to think a little harder…
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Cellulose & Steel