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Cellulose & Steel	By : Not-Taylor Category: Misc Books > FemmeSlash Views: 1028 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I don't own HDG or its characters and I don't make money from this work.

Chapter List
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chair, repeating snippets of phrases in Affini, filling its rapchik with disgust. Such a thing is unnatural, yet it’s obvious for any to see who pass by. An affini cannot be disgusted by a floret. That goes against biology, sociology, and psychology. Everyone knows that. Every affini feels that truth beating in her core. Why is it so hard for this fourth bloom to shed the sensation?
Verda had gotten into a bad habit of thinking too much several blooms ago. At her age, that is quite the statement. Every thought seemed to drive her further from everyone else’s perspectives. No proof of that was greater than… this. This terran who needed protection from itself more than from anyone else. Verda is only beginning to understand Ember’s level of recklessness, as well as just how brutally it had been treated by those to whom it still pledged loyalty. Perhaps the error when she dismissed the urgency of human domestication was hers after all. She still believes a more delicate approach would have had superior results, but…
Every conversation she has with her floret opens a new horror and a new list of actions that should be grounds for immediate domestication. Every conversation shows just how strong Ember is for having endured so much. It can never live a comfortable life. It took Verda far too long to accept that. Her floret would never be able to live as an independent, even if it were to renounce feralism entirely. The vines sticking out of its neck only prove that more visibly. That Cia Endiwai’s floret is so willing to overlook that flaw is comforting, but at what price?
She should have foreseen the severity of what she allowed Ember to do. She has been far too accommodating, if not yielding. She should have been firmer from the start instead of undertaking this silly experiment. Then perhaps Ember could have been happy.
Or could it have been? Without Verda’s “emotional” decision, nothing would have been done for its gender and identity issues, which have yet to be resolved in any way (aside from choosing fire of all things to name itself after). But Artemis seemed utterly incapable of understanding why the xenodrugs she used on Ember were reprehensible. Verda has clearly saved the feralist from a terrible fate and is indispensable to its future.
That says nothing of Ember’s sensor dysphoria. Would she have even known of such a thing, or would she have used enough xenodrugs to prevent the introspection needed for Ember to explain what was wrong? If not, what treatment could have existed? A heavily medicated floret would never have been allowed to pilot a vessel outside of a simulation. Perhaps that could have been sufficient, had Verda been willing to allow the use of that horrid port in her floret’s neck. No, that will be replaced as soon as possible. But will Ember accept the only sustainable solution? Verda doesn’t know.
That aside, there are no solutions. She never would have thought of using Affini biotechnology if not for her experience with the Terran horror (which she strongly suspects might technically be permissible under the treaty of their domestication), which in the hypothetical timeline would not have occurred. Each of the steps vital to her present “success” was the last in a series of last resorts unthinkable in a normal situation. At least she can take comfort in the fact that Ember will never learn the consequences that its mistress bore for what most would consider deranged. For now, at least Ember is mostly stable and capable of enjoying its life to some extent.
She regrets nothing. If a better option had presented itself, Verda would have accepted it gladly. Ember is worth the frustration. Or so she might say, were it not for the biorhythmic debacle. In the interest of maintaining the belief that her habitual introspection is not mental self harm, Verda has to remind herself that it was a brilliant ploy. Ember has been docile and obedient ever since their agreement began. She’s proud of the change that a little bit of creative motivation caused. The sullen looks are understandable and a very low priority, all things considered.
What matters most in that respect is Ember’s new potential to do harm. It may have been the only idea that Verda was able to come up with that would merit her pet’s willing cooperation over a period of more than a few minutes, but that does not make it a wise proposition. Ember has been in communication with an “egg” discussing grossblooms know what. Most likely feralism. Ember has yet to see the folly of those beliefs. Verda only hopes it isn’t making the poor egg do something rash out a misplaced sense of loyalty.
Beyond that… The effect that Ember has produced on Evlen is deeply concerning. To rescind their agreement would destroy any hope Verda has of acceptance of her authority, but Ember is dangerous now. In a way, its antics are amusing, but Verda is too aware of the mind behind them to ignore the almost inevitable harm that will come, whether tomorrow or a decade from now. Even though Ember was regretful of her actions, she could easily do the same thing unwittingly. It could change its mind! What happens if Ember goes too far and ensnares Evlen fully? What will Ember do if she domesticates Evlen in a way that its mistress has not been able to, as a result of the Almsit Domestication Treaty? What will Verda do then? What happens if Ember does that to some other fresh floret, perhaps a feralist captured and brought to the ship?
Verda shudders, doing her best to hide the motion from her increasingly attentive pet. No evidence yet exists regarding Ember’s capabilities with implanted florets, but that wager is not appealing whatsoever. Knowing how it thinks, it might decide to accept that “challenge.” Perhaps Ember will become determined to domesticate an affini. Verda must ensure such a thing never becomes close to possibility since she remembers the last time a ship person didn’t have its cognitive abilities severely restricted.
Ember is a menace and it’s Verda’s fault. She’s reminded herself of that fact numerous times. She has put many others at risk simply out of… she’d rather not think of such things, not when she doesn’t have to. And yet… The alternative was to allow the poor dear to decay into a state of torment. There is no doubt that class O would have been unavoidable in such a scenario. The only safeguard between Ember’s recklessness and the welfare of society is Verda’s wit. The only safeguard between Ember’s condition and its ability to live any sort of life is Verda’s recklessness.
Isn’t it poetic? Either class O for incurable feralism or class O for incurable neurological damage. As to what Ember would do were it to find itself in a simulation… Verda chuckles. She knows perfectly well what would happen. It really seems that humoring Ember’s slightly less feral tendencies while giving it augmentations that probably make its sensor dysphoria worse over time is the best solution. At least these language lessons have had a positive effect on the little one, even if nothing else has. There aren’t orchards of grossblooms giving any better advice, especially not anything she hasn’t already thought of. Perhaps to think such a thing makes her a bad affini, but Verda doesn’t care if it tears the Compact to roots and dirt, she will not allow her floret to be destroyed.
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Cellulose & Steel