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Anita and Bob	By : lalaland Category: Anita Blake > Crossovers Views: 3050 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own the Anita Blake series, nor the Dresden Files. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 1-Anita and Bob
- 1
Title: Anita and Bob
Pairing: None
Rating: R for language
Disclaimer: It's at adult-fanfiction.org. See the word "fanfiction" Do you really think I own it?

A/N: This is an Anita Blake/Harry Dresden crossover. If you haven't read Dresden you probably
won't get it. It's an OK series. Don't really care for Harry that much but Bob is pretty funny.
Harry is a little to condescending to the non-humans for me to really like him.

R WPR WP="BR1">

I stood in front of the door to my office, staring at it moodily. No, it wasn't the newly
renovated decor of browns and yellows that made me not want to go in. It wasn't the stack of
paperwork that I had to fill out for Bert, either. It was Bob.
Bob was a skull. Or to be more precise, Bob was a spirit that lived inside a skull. His
current owner was busy for a few weeks, and Bert had accepted the plea for a babysitter.
Evidently, Bert still hasn't finished his 2^nd grade education for reading because nowhere on my
resume does it say "babysitter". Evidently, I still haven't figured out how to avoid getting conned
into these things.
Bob's owner was a wizard, Harry Dresden. Besides vampires, wizards are another group
whose eyes you don't look into. They can see into your soul. On the other hand, you can see into
theirs as well.
Due to Jean-Claude's marks, I hadn't avoided looking into someone's eyes for a very
long time, so inevitably I ended up getting accidently eye-locked by Mr. Dresden when he came
to drop Bob off. Dresden and I spent about 30 seconds gazing at eachother's souls before his
eyes rolled back up into his head and he dropped to the floor. I guess my soul kind of shocked
him. I have that effect on most people. They just don't expect a tiny woman with big brown eyes
to have mowed people down with uzis. Their mistake.
I would have felt bad, but in the brief time I had met him he had managed to hold three
doors for me and compliment me on my outfit twice. I think he thought he was just being
gallant, but all it did was piss me off.
Bob, meanwhile, thought it was a hoot, especially after I tried to help Dresden up and the
sight of me made him wet his pants. Ooops. Bert thankfully stepped in and ushered the wizard
out the door.
A voice called me out of my thoughts. "Aaaaaaaaaanita!!!! I know you're out there."
"I don't give a shit, Bob," I yelled back, and opened the door.
The gaping eyeholes of the skull swirled with a light that was pure Bob as I walked over
to the desk.
"What did you bring me?" he asked almost cackling with glee. The only way to get Bob
to be quiet for any amount of time was to bring him a present.
I plopped a spare bra down onto the desk in front of him. "There ya go."
"THAT'S what you wear? How do you get so many boyfriends."
I scowled and looked down at the sensible full cup bra. "Number one, thick straps give
better support. Number two, you don't deserve any of my sexy bras. And number three, it's none
of you business how many boyfriends I have!!" I said the last bit in my dangerous voice, but Bob
only moaned in pleasure.
"Did you know your power flairs when you get mad. Very hot."
I ignored him and sat down and began doing some paperwork.
After a few minutes, Bob began to sing A Lovely Bunch of Coconuts.
I sighed, knowing where this heading.
"You know, Anita," Bob began after a few minutes of singing.
"I know what, Bob?" I asked him with a sigh glancing up at him. If he had had eyebrows
they would have been waggling at me by now.
"YOU'VE GOT A LOVELY BUNCH OF COCONUTS!!!" he bellowed.
I heard laughter coming from outside my door. Let the little bastards laugh I thought to
myself. I have a gun.
"Thanks Bob," I said with a forced calm and returned to work. I've had years practicing
control. I could tune out a little pervy spirit skull.
Bob began singing "It's a Small World". Without a word, I lifted him off the desk and
carried him to the open window.
"Bert!! Bert!!" the little spirit bellowed. I guess he figured out that pleading with me
would do him no good.
Bert burst in my door. "Anita, what are you doing?"
"Just giving Bob a little fresh air," I said sweetly as I held him out the window.
"I'll be good," Bob shrieked.
I shook my hand a little. "Too late for that Bob."
"Anita if you drop him, we may not get paid. Then all of this would have been for
nothing," Bert interjected.
That made me pause. I didn't care about the money so much as being able to take it away
from Bert later.
I went and put Bob back on the desk.
Bert looked a little flushed and peaky and left the room without another word.
Bob's eyes were glowing and swirling at me. "You know," he began again.
"No, I don't know Bob," I said curtly as I sat back down at my desk.
"If you flash me I swear by Izthelbub that I won't bug you as much."
"No way."
"Come on, I already swore the oath. You don't go back on Izthelbub."
I pondered that for a moment. It would be nice to have him bug me a little less. And
really it would be nothing worse than what thousands of college girls before me had already
done.
"Fine," I said. I unbuttoned my blouse roughly before I could change my mind, and
pulled up my bra."
The room suddenly glowed in a flash of orange light that radiated from the skull.
I hurriedly righted myself. "Bob, are you OK?" Not that I really cared or anything.
Bob's eyes glowed dimly at me from outside the skull. "Wow, that was the best I've had
in years," he said breathily, if a spirit inside a skull can be breathy.
Oh, ick.
"You have to be good now," I reminded him.
"I have to be BETTER," he reminded me.
"Fine. Be better."
"OK.... Geez, I could really look at those knockers for a century."
Good grief. "They won't look like this in a century," I muttered, not really being sure
what I would even be as a human being after a century.
"Who cares," Bob crowed. "Old boobie is still good boobie!!"
"Asshole," I muttered at him, but I was somehow strangely appeased.
Maybe I wouldn't kill Dresden when he came back.
- 1
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Anita and Bob