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Tempus fugit	By : Operafreak Category: M through R > The Phantom of the Opera > AU/AR Views: 2729 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own The Phantom of the Opera, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

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Tempus Fugit Chapter 1

The phantom of the opera felt a surgical urge in his groin. He cried randomly watching Christine abandon him for ugly Raoul the transvestite drag queen. Little did Christine know, ugly Raoul the transvestite drag queen had attempted to rape the phantom of the opera only that afternoon whilst singing past the point of no return but the phantom of the opera got out his large knife and cut off ugly Raoul the transvestite drag queen’s floppy cock which was secretly a dildo strapped on to make his cock look bigger.

The phantom of the opera schemed up a plan…he opened his mouth and began to sing.

I have schemed up a plan to make me an incredibly ugly man,
But wait why? You may ask, so I don’t have to hide behind this ugly mask
Oh I miss you Christine, and bending you over my bed and shagging you
Your boobs look so tight and mean,
I shall create a groovy machine, to make me a love spleen

He sang funkily to himself as the electric guitars faded into the distance. He was still gripping his groin, he jogged in slow motion towards the biggest glass reflecting mirror, he pulled his elephantine cock from his pants and sprayed his population paste all over the mirror to hide his ugliness. The force of it, broke the mirror into a thousand smithereens to reveal a Gypsy circus with a giant spider playing the violin.

“Hello my cobweb making friend, you must make me some webs to create my sexy machine,”

Aragog the spider from Harry Potter, looked at the phantom of the opera in sexual excitement . The phantom of the opera rolled his eyes in disgust as the spider shot foamy web all over him. The phantom of the opera watched two male spiders making love, with interest. The spider looked at him and made him feel like he was a sideshow circus freak all over again, so the phantom of the opera got out his big knife and cut off all his eight legs.

“Sorry my web making friend, your violin playing days is over,” and he was gone with a swish of his black cape.

The phantom returned to his mirrored room, the one he had tried to kill ugly Raoul the transvestite drag queen in and had sadly failed. He stuck the webbing on the mirrors and went off to use his cell phone because he had surgical hunger pains in his belly. He got out his mobile and called an Indian takeaway, and ordered 10 of his hottest curries, as he put the phone away, he noticed his monkey music box was missing...he thought back earlier to that day…

****flash back****

“No ugly Raoul the transvestite drag queen I will not submit to your sexual desires,” the phantom of the opera snapped at ugly Raoul the transvestite drag queen

“Fine,” replied ugly Raoul the transvestite drag queen,

* * * * end of flashback****

The phantom of the opera had seen ugly Raoul the transvestite drag queen slaking his lust on his faithful black horse earlier and had thought nothing of it at the time…now he thought back to it; ugly Raoul the transvestite drag queen did have something large in his trousers when he had left him.

“Monkey my love!” called out the phantom of the opera to the large cavernous sewer. He watched as a piece of shit floated past him. He saw a shiny cymbal poking out from under the bed and knelt down to retrieve his best friend. The tears fell down his cheeks as he looked upon it. Covered with ugly Raoul the transvestite drag queen’s population paste.

The music monkey starts to play its tune and the phantom of the opera sings softly to it…

I mourn for you dear monkey friend,
I shall write a letter that I shall send
To complain about you, my monkey’s pain
Raoul is such a fool; he believes he is so cool
He thinks that he makes me drool…

“Ugh, what a pervert,”

The phantom of the opera heard the doorbell ring and he let in the delivery boy. The boy looked at him strangely and made the phantom of the opera feel like a circus freak once more and so slit his throat when seeing the boy was sexually aroused by him. He glanced down at the delivery boys corpse and the position he died in reminded him of a sex position he had been in with his blow up doll of Christine he accidentally spurted his population paste in the boys face from sexual excitement

After consuming his mysterious dinner, he put his hands in the raw sewage and located the rope he used to partially strangle ugly Raoul the transvestite drag queen earlier. He got a big erection from the smell of ugly Raoul the transvestite drag queen’s blood. He attached the rope to the back of the mirrors, as he felt the ache in his groin and buttocks grow to painful proportions….PFFFFFFFFFFTTTTTTTT! The force of his huge fart knocked him off his feet as he was blown into 2004-12-23. THURSDAY THE DAY BEFORE CHRISTMAS EVE.

Back in 1870…at the de shagme estate

“Raoul my love come to bed and shag me rotten,” begged Christine.

“Oh monkey poop, “ said ugly Raoul the transvestite drag queen as he searched around in his trousers trying to find his dick. “I will be there in a moment my love,” he said making a hasty exit into the grounds of his house. He looked up at the stars and felt his tiny dick get hard, after much searching he located it and pulled it out with his little finger.

BACK TO THE FUTURE

The phantom of the opera woke to find himself laying face down on the floor in a strange clinic; he got up from the floor and walked over to a brightly coloured leaflet with flashing lights attached to it. The words spelt out get your ugly Raoul the transvestite drag queen’s face lift done here today special discount for lack of demand

The phantom of the opera saw that the leaflet flashed its lights strangely at the phantom of the opera, it made him feel like he was a freak in a circus again so he ripped it from the wall and tore it to smithereens and sprayed population paste all over it.

“That will teach you, to flash strangely at me,” The phantom of the opera looked around the room to see all the ugly people in the waiting room were staring strangely at him, and making him feel like a circus freak so he got out his big knife and mutilated them horribly.

After killing everyone in the room the phantom of the opera put his big knife away and walked to the nurse’s station, she was cowering behind the desk in fear. He looked at her “Did you think that I would harm you, why would I make you pay for the sins that are theirs?”

The nurse handed him a clipboard “Sigh here and here,” the phantom of the opera did as he was told and he handed it back to her. The phantom of the opera noticed that the woman was looking at him strangely while rubbing her breast. It made the phantom of the opera feel like a circus freak in a cage once more as he mind flashed back to him holding his sack monkey in his cage, just before ugly Raoul the transvestite drag queen had stolen it from him all those years ago. The phantom of the opera looked at the nurse, and took out his big knife and stabbed her in the heart before entering the doctor’s office.

The phantom of the opera rolled his eyes as he saw the doctor comb down his hair in sexual excitement at the sight of him. His hand strayed to his big knife because the doctor made him feel like he was a circus freak, but he stopped himself as he remembered that he needed the doctor for his new face.

“I want you to turn me into an ugly Raoul the transvestite drag queen so my bird will shag me again,” said the phantom of the opera.

“Uh sure, you have killed all my patients for the day, so my day is pretty free, but are you sure you want to be ugly Raoul the transvestite drag queen?”

The phantom of the opera got out his big knife, “Do it now!” he demanded as he lay down on the doctors desk.

The doctor started to unzip his fly.

“Not that! The operation!” said the phantom of the opera.

The doctor started to operate on the phantom of the opera’s face, the phantom of the opera was so excited by the pain because he was a dominatrix. He ripped a hole in his pants with a scalpel, and he spurted his population paste all over the ceiling. Five minutes later the operation was completed. The doctor was cowering under his operating trolley at the ugly Raoul the transvestite drag queen it made the phantom of the opera feel like a circus freak so he stabbed him with a teaspoon because he lost his large sharp kitchen utensil.

The phantom of the opera got out his groovy phones4u mobile it was a Motorola, he put his mouth to the receiver “Hello moto, bring me Indian food….” He smashed the phone to the floor after the conversation ended as the ring tone had sounded strange to him and made him feel like s circus freak.

Ten minutes and one dead delivery boy later, the phantom of the opera felt the huge fart build up in his belly, he ran for the men’s toilet. He ran into a dementor called Fred on the way, which looked at him strangely, and made him feel like a circus freak so he got out his huge dick which had mystical qualities as a wand and shouted “ Expecto patronum”

The dementor fell deader than he already was, at his feet. Just in time the phantom of the opera let out his huge fart PFFFFFTTTTT, he looked into the mirror at himself strangely and it made him feel like a circus freak, he was about to stab himself just as he was transported back into 1870. He landed in a strange duck pond at the shagme estate. The phantom of the opera noticed ugly Raoul the transvestite drag queen wanking off his pencil dick using his little finger. Ugly Raoul the transvestite drag queen looked in horror at the ugliness before him.

Ugly Raoul the transvestite drag queen and the phantom of the opera looked up at the strange flashing lights in the sky. The phantom of the opera picked up a duck out of the pond because the strange thing in the sky made him feel like a circus freak and he wanted it to die. Moments later the strange object landed on the ground and a fat care bear waddled out, he saw ugly Raoul the transvestite drag queen playing with his minute needle dick and was so sexually aroused, that he transported him into his space ship. Before leaving the care bear looked at the phantom of the opera strangely, the phantom of the opera threw the duck at him and missed.

As it flew away, the sounds of ugly Raoul the transvestite drag queen being raped by the furry toys rang into the night. The sound was strange to the phantom of the opera’s ears and made him feel like a circus freak so he grabbed a huge rock and threw it at the spaceship. It crash landed into the duck pond and everyone one on board were killed.

“Ugly Raoul the transvestite drag queen come and shag me before I diddle myself,” groaned Christine widening her legs revealing her meat curtains.

“Coming baby,” said the phantom of the opera as he released his huge dick from his trousers and walked into the bedroom and he and Christine lived happily ever after, until she looked at him strangely one day and made him feel like a circus freak and he killed her. And then himself for looking at himself strangely in the mirror and making himself feel like a circus freak for killing her. So they all died.

The End
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Tempus fugit