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Revelations About the Birds and the Bees	By : 1n4ch4n Category: G through L > Howl's Moving Castle Views: 8512 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 1
Disclaimer: I do not own Howl's Moving Castle. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

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Disclaimer: "Howl's Moving Castle and all its characters belong to Diana Wynne Jones. I, on the other hand, own nothing and have absolutely no money. But donations are welcome.
July 29, 2005
Revelations About the Birds and the Bees
(and other things not mentioned as the aftereffects of "Happily Ever Afters")
Chapter One
by Ina-chan
It has been a good several months since Sophie successfully broke the contract between Howl and Calcifer. Yes, that infamous act in which a heartless wizard regained his heart and an imprisoned fire demon gained his freedom. At that same time, the annoying Witch of the Waste and her equally annoying fire demon had been extinguished from existence. It was also just as equally important to note that a certain wizard had proposed to a certain 19-year-young woman who was formerly cursed with a 90-year-old woman's shape that they "live happily ever after". (See Howl's Moving Castle Chapter 21: In which a contract is concluded before witnesses)as recorded by Diana Wynne Jones for further details).
From that time up to the present, it was safe to assume that a good number of things happened. Of course, most of them were accompanied with rather stressful circumstances, so it was also safe to say that the 'happily ever after' part hasn't quite sunk in yet. Well, to be fair, several months were not much time to prepare any human being to accommodate these major life changes.
Let us have a quick summary on what happened after Calcifer returned to the castle, shall we?
After everyone finally shut up and attention spans were put in order, Fanny and Sophie's sisters decided that they were divided about the idea of Sophie marrying the infamous Horrible Howl. In the end, they all agreed that they cannot, within their conscience, allow Sophie to continue living in his castle with their current living arrangements (to Sophie's annoyance). It may have worked perfectly fine when Sophie was believed to have been a 90-year-old cleaning lady, but to live there, in an unmarried state, as a ravishing 19-year-young woman"¦ well, that was simply scandalous!
Since Sophie refused to move out, and her family refused to give in, there was already a collection of guests and witnesses present, AND there was the danger of Howl silently slithering out at any moment"¦ a minister was summoned immediately.
It pays to be acquainted with someone so well-connected like Prince Justin.
So before their small collection of family and friends, Sophie Hatter and Howell Jenkins were bound together as husband and wife. It didn't seem to matter to anyone at all that the two had only known each other for only around two months. No one seemed to mind at the time either. While normally, it would probably be horrifying that such an important romantic event for every girl turns into some sort of hurried shot gun wedding (mind you, Calcifer and Micheal testified that Howl had successfully escaped quite a number of them), it was probably for the best.
And yes. To be fair, Howl didn't try to slither his way out of this one. It would seem that in the process of returning his heart, Sophie had also irrevocably captured it. The fact of the matter was whether Howl would actually come around with going through the ceremony on his own volition was another question. Chances were good that Sophie would probably be a 90-year-old woman once again, before Howl would actually get around to asking her to walk the aisle with him.
"Coward," Sophie muttered under her breath, in agreement to the narrator's comments.
To paraphrase a famous quote: "Better now, than never!"
The next couple of days after their marriage were a series of arguments with an occasional fight. Some quite heated to the point that it required both Calcifer and Micheal to temporary flee the castle for their own safety. They ranged from the silliest of things"¦ like sleeping arrangements for example.
Sophie refused to share Howl's filthy room, and Howl was equally determined to not allow Sophie to impose her will on the fate of his beloved spiders. Sophie's cubby hole under the stairs was definitely out of the question. It was somewhat a relief to know that even a man like Howl, who boasts his sense of ill-reputation, still had a sense of discretion when it comes to such matters involving married couples.
In the end, they finally came to the compromise of Sophie agreeing to give sanctuary to the spiders at somewhere else out of sight in castle, and Howl agreeing to allow Sophie to subject their room to a cleaning frenzy. In turn, it lessened the probabilities of Calcifer and Micheal suddenly walking into an interesting situation that can cause great psychological trauma.
The next couple of weeks after their marriage, the looming threat of the kingdoms of High Norland and Strangia declaring war with Ingary persisted. While Prince Justin's return to the royal palace has brought some military stability to the kingdom, the King's royal summons to put his newly appointed Royal Wizard to work on a new military contraption continued on to the point that Howl and Micheal had been working almost non-stop. Howl never admitted it out loud.
Well, not directly that is.
Of course, Howl complained. He complained loudly with great theatrics at every given opportunity about his displeasure at being ungratefully treated like a workhorse. He simply never admitted that his duties as Royal Wizard, and getting re-accustomed to the state of having a heart once again, on top of adjusting to married life and everything else that was happening at the same time were actually taking its toll on him. In fact, it came to the point that even Calcifer did not hide his genuine concern at the sight of the dark shadows under the Wizard's eyes that even Howl's most potent cosmetic spells couldn't conceal.
The next couple months after their marriage, aside from getting used to the idea that they will be spending the rest of their lives together, there was also the fact that they will be spending the rest of their lives dealing with each other's relations. Sophie's family, as cynical as some Fanny, Lettie and Martha were of Horrible Wizard Howl's reputation, had an easier time accepting the union. They knew that if there was one person who had the ability to rehabilitate the infamous Wizard's ways into the straight and narrow path, Sophie would be the one to do it.
Breaking the news to Howl's sister in the other hand, proved to be the real challenge. In due time, Megan was able to accept that her brother's marriage was not some sort of ploy and Sophie was not a poor innocent bystander, unwillingly pulled into her brother's foolishness. Sophie had a hard time adjusting to Megan's eccentricities too.
In fact, both women seemed weary of each other at first. Megan was already suspicious by nature when it comes to things relating to her brother, so she simply couldn't get herself to warm up to Sophie right away. Not that Sophie blamed her. Anyone would feel apprehensive at the thought of accepting a complete stranger as a member of your family without prior warning. Sophie however, despite the fact that she understood Megan's frustrations toward Howl, found that her sister-in-law's overbearing demeanour tested her own patience as well.
Megan's husband, Gareth Parry, was a whole lot friendlier with accepting Sophie as family. However, that didn't remove the obvious unspoken animosity underneath the forced civility between Megan's husband and Howl. As likeable as Gareth was, his relationship with her husband made it somewhat difficult for Sophie to be comfortable around him too.
As for the children, Sophie quickly discovered that her new nephew Neil had both endearing and annoying qualities that all pre-pubescent boys share. She already had a glimpse of it the first time Howl brought her and Michael to Wales, of course. But she never realized how much of a bratty smart aleck the boy really was. The boy could have given Lettie a run for her money back when she was his age. Each visit with the her in-laws left Sophie feeling torn between wanting to be friendly with Neil one moment, and wanting to give him a good spanking the next.
Perhaps, the only saving grace was little Mari, who had taken a great liking to her new Aunt Sophie. Sophie readily admitted that her feelings were mutual. They became fast friends. Sophie even instructed her niece to tie a red handkerchief around the swings in the yard as a signal of whenever Mari wanted to see her Aunt. In return, Sophie was to come and see her right away (whenever Sophie saw their signal from Howl's bedroom window that was).
This crude but effective signal was the main reason why this particular story came into effect. Because one particular afternoon, Sophie looked out of the bedroom window as a habit to find the swing in the yard not only had a red handkerchief wrapped around the chains, but every single inch of the swing set had a red ribbon, a red scarf... anything red draped all around it. All at once, Sophie realized that her niece was in dire need.
"Calcifer, I'm going out for a bit," Sophie called out breathlessly as she turned the knob black door down.
"Hey! You can't go there on your own! Howl will get mad---" Calcifer yelled back in alarm.
"Then don't tell him!" Sophie shot back irritably. "And keep the door open for me!"�
Before Calcifer's flames could even flicker a reply, she was already out of the castle and banging away at Rivendell's door. The door burst open, and instantly, a small blur zoomed out and latched itself tightly around Sophie's legs almost knocking her over. Sophie bent down to find a very distraught little girl soaking her skirts with great drops of unhappy tears. She wrapped her arms around the child in great concern, "Mari, sweetie, what's the matter?"
"AUNT SOPHIE! I DON'T WANT TO GO! DON'T LET THEM TAKE ME!" Mari wailed in pure discontent
"Mari! Don't be stubborn and come back over here!" Megan's voice called out angrily from indoors just before making her appearance.
The older woman looked so cross and livid that Sophie instinctively tightened her protective hold on little girl, "Now Megan, what seems to be the problem?"
Megan gaped at her sister-in-law, completely surprised to see Sophie at her door. Something that Megan was not particularly happy with, for that matter. It was badenough that her brother appeared out of nowhere at any time of the day, expecting her brother's wife to behave the same simply made it worse.
Proper people would appropriately announce their arrival before hand. It was only common courtesy after all!
Nonetheless, Megan composed herself and gave the younger woman a quick look-over from head to toe. Sophie shuffled on her feet uncomfortably at the sudden realization that she was still wearing her normal clothes. She was in a hurry to reach Mari, that she completely forgot that she needed Howl to change her clothes into what was appropriate in Wales. Megan didn't approve of what she called "gaudy" costumes that her brother was fond of wearing. For sure, seeing those same type clothes on her sister-in-law, even though they were not flamboyant as her brother's, did not improve Megan's opinion of her brother's wife.
However, the older woman said nothing. She simply eyed her daughter sternly while replying to the younger woman's question, "Gareth and I are due to go on a trip on business for the weekend. Our usual housekeeper is not able to make it, so we are about to drop the children over to their Great Aunt Gwendolyn's house. Now Mari stop bothering your Aunt Sophie, and come along. We're already late as it is!"
"NOOOOOOO!" Mari cried out pathetically as she clutched Sophie as if her life depended on it. "I don't want to go! Nana Gwen's cats don't like me! They bite and scratch and they SMELL! I don't want to go! Don't let them take me, Aunt Sophie."�
"Mari!" Megan exclaimed in exasperation as she reached out for the sobbing child
A line furrowed over Sophie's brow. Her heart went out to the distressed little girl. She knew quite well what it felt like to be forced to do things against one's will. At the same time, she didn't want to cross her boundaries. The line was already fragile as it was. But the older woman looked as if she was at the brink of losing her patience with the child as well. Not much good amounted from that either.
"Megan," Sophie began with a gentle smile, "if it's alright with you, I can look after Mari for the weekend. I'll bring her back on---"
"ABSOLUTELY OUT OF THE QUESTION!" Megan yelled in horror, despite herself, to Sophie's annoyance. The older woman took a deep breath to collect herself. She then forced a polite smile on her lips before continuing on.
"Forgive me. I don't wish to offend you. I'm sure the home that you keep is lovely and all, but I simply don't feel comfortable leaving my children in a residence that I have not inspected myself. And as you know, Howell has never invited me to his home. I have no idea where or how he... you live. Until I am rest assured that my child will be staying at anappropriate neighborhood, I simply cannot allow it." She emphasized her point by making a quick expert tug at her daughter, forcing the child into her arms.
The smile froze on Sophie's lips, her temper gnawing at the edge of her patience. At this point, she honestly didn't know which was worse. Howl's biting sarcasm or his sister's sharp tactlessness. While Sophie respected Megan's protectiveness over her children, she still can't help but feel irked at the obvious fact that the other woman still doesn't trust her as family. It would seem that Mari was familiar with this particular tone her mother had and appeared to have succumbed to her inevitable fate. The little girl's protests died down to soft defeated sobs.
Seeing this, Sophie swallowed her pride and attempted to win her sister-in-law once again, "Mari doesn't need to come to my house if it makes you feel better. I can stay with her here over the weekend"
"Again, thank you for the offer Sophie," Megan interrupted once more, "but I don't feel comfortable leaving you alone with Mari in a house... a neighborhood that you are not familiar with. And being as young as you are, you can't possibly have a lot of experience with children now, can you?"
Sophie's smile almost faltered as she ground her teeth, biting back a venomous retort. Of course she had experience with children! Fanny, as kind and sweet as she was, was not exactly the image of motherhood. Sophie practically raised her sisters ever since Lettie and Martha were in diapers and stuffed dirt in their mouths. Mari's sniffles were the only thing that held back the contemptuous rejoinder that she would had made. The cheek of this woman!
"Well then, I can talk to Howl about spending the weekend here. I'm sure he wouldn't mind at all. And Mari would appreciate spending some time with her uncle," Sophie stated patiently in a measured tone.
"Yes, Mummy! If Uncle Howell comes, I'll behave! I promise! Please Mummy? Please?"� Mari jumped in enthusiastically as she gave her mother an affectionate hug.
"If Uncle Howell is coming, then I want to stay home too!" Another voice called out from indoors.
"Neil, don't you start!" Megan moaned in frustration as she rubbed her temples painfully
"Mum, staying at Nana Gwendolyn's is the pits!" Neil wailed as he appeared by his mother's side. "Mari's not kidding about the cats. She has a hundred of them and they scratch and bite! If we come home frothing in the mouth with rabies and end up dead... are you going to be sorry then?"
"Mummy please?Please? Please? Please? Please Mummy?"
"And did you know that rabies..."
Sophie couldn't help herself and allowed a smile to tug the corners of her lips at the sight of the Megan's flustered expression as her children double tag-teamed her to submission. Still, Sophie couldn't help feeling a bit frightened upon seeing that this particularly annoying method of persuasion that Howl often used to get his way ran naturally within the family bloodline.
"ALRIGHT!" Megan cried out, finally giving in.
Both children cheered in triumph. Sophie caught herself on time before she let out her own joyous cheer. She settled with exchanging a happy grin with Mari as Megan set her daughter on the ground.
"Take your sister and tell your father about the change in plans," Megan instructed sharply at her elder child before turning back to Sophie. "Very well. I trust that you can convince to bring Howell within an hour'stime? That should be enough time for me to prepare my last minute arrangements for the children over in the weekend..."
'And enough time for us to continue with the original plan if my good for nothing brother doesn't disappoint by not showing up at all,' Megan seemed to imply silently to the end of her sentence.
"That is more than enough," Sophie replied curtly, unable to stop herself as her annoyance came back in full force upon hearing the older woman's tone.
"Very well then," Megan sniffed in finality, before turning around to close the door.
"See you later Aunt Sophie!" Mari waved at Sophie sweetly before the door closed.
With that Sophie took a deep breath, feeling rather pleased with herself. There was a little skip on her gait as she made her way back to the castle door. She was able to help her niece in a dire situation after all. On top of that, she will be spending time in Waleswith her niece and nephew without worrying about Megan's overbearing ways. She was actually looking forward to it.
Now, all she had to do was tell Howl...
End of Chapter One
To be Continued"¦
Author's squawk:
I really have no idea why I decided to start another HMC fic when I haven't finished my first one! But when the muses call, one cannot help but answer! I'm a slave to my muses!
Actually, this one was meant to be a one-shot. But if I kept it as is it's going to be very long and tedious. (And this one's going to be naughty.. .) For that reason, I decided to put cut it in 2 parts. 3 maximum. The naughty bits will start on chapter 2 or 3.
But let me just make it clear... Ina-chan sucks at writing romantic love WAFFy crap. In fact, her attempts with writing romantic love WAFFy crap are usually just plain crap. So Ina-chan promised herself that she will never write a Howl/Sophie romantic love WAFFy crap story. This fic is prime example of broken promises when the muses refuse to listen to your personal requests... it's tame right now. But there is a possibility that this might end up as the 2nd "M" category DWJ fic in FFNET. Eh-heh-heh... We'll see how far my muses will take me.
But mind you, if you're expecting a romantic love WAFFy crap of a story, this is will be very bad attempt at it. As you can see, I'm not a believer that it's going to be all love and romance after the happily-ever-after fairy tale wedding.
"Mechrau", at this point, looks like its going to be a 5-parter. I'm working on Chapter 3 of it as well, so don't worry if you're paranoid about me abandoning it. Anywayz, this fic is probably the closest thing that I can write to a WAFFy Howl/Sophie romance fic. I honestly suck at writing those.
Again, thanks to Piggi for beta-ing.
Comments and criticisms are welcome"¦
Ja!
Ina-chan
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Revelations About the Birds and the Bees