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Frost and Doyle's misadventures with Ash and Holly	By : outlawblue Category: M through R > Merry Gentry Views: 1813 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Merry Gentry, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 1-Frost and Doyle's misadvemtures with Ash and Holly
- 1
LKH can not be held responsible for this, and I ain't making no money
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Year 1830: Place - St. Louis, an evil goblin has escaped and the Queen wants her best warriors to track him down and bring him back. King Kureg insists his best warriors go along....whether they track anyone down is open for discussion.

Frost and Doyle are walking the streets of St. Louis at night looking for the evil Riceburner. Ash and Holly were supposed to have been with them, but they have lost the goblin/sidhe twins on the boat ride over from Illinois. Now they have to find the twins as well. This is not a good night for our mighty sidhe warriors.
Doyle: I expect this out of Holly but not Ash. I thought better of him.

Frost: Ash is just a better looking version of Holly.

Doyle: They are both wearing Ben Franklin glasses, how could any mortal tell them a part. Stops as idea comes to mind. I have a bad feeling about this. Come.

Stops in front of a building with red lights out front. Both sidhe warriors peer through a window. Spy Ash and Holly with human females fawning all over them.
Doyle: It is as I feared. They are......entertaining themselves.

Frost: wistful sigh Perhaps we should leave them here until we are finished. At least we know where they are.

Doyle: True senses another problem Human females do not know they have to negotiate with them...or they will get hurt. Looks at Frost One of us must go inside and get Ash.
Frost: It would be too dangerous for me

Doyle: Why? You think you are handsomer than I?

Frost: Yes

Doyle: shrugs shoulder All right, I will try to get Ash' attention before anything happens. Goes to door, opens it and goes inside leaving Frost on the street

Holly sees him : Look brother. Doyle has decided to break his fast.

Doyle: Not yet. Ash, may I speak with you outside?

Ash: Of course, Doyle.

Doyle: And Holly, don't do anything until Ash returns.

Outside

Doyle: I think it is an excellent idea that you and Holly protect the human females from the Riceburner, but they do not know that they have to negotiate with you.

Frost: Yes, Holly must not be allowed to repeat what he did in Dublin.

Ash: Eat one woman and you get a bad reputation forever.

Frost: But Ash, I don't think the woman was being literal when she told Holly to eat her.

Ash shrugs

Doyle: Ash, at no time must you or Holly hurt one of these women. Ask them before you do anything if it's all right.

Frost: And please remember, if she says eat me, she doesn't mean it literally.

Ash: Very well. You have basically left only one thing that Holly and I can do with them.

Frost: There are 27 sidhe warriors who would gladly have your problem.

Doyle: True.

Ash: I am sorry, my friends, I tend to forget that. Holly and I will entertain them for you. We will each have one woman in honor of the 27 Ravens who can not.

Doyle: I am honored

Ash: And if the Riceburner shows up here, we will capture him.

Doyle: Thank-you Ash goes back into the HOUSE Sometimes I hate him.

Frost: I was just thinking the same thing. Our sidhe warriors wander back into the night looking for the deadly Riceburner

Doyle: 27 women ought to keep them busy for awhile

Frost: Yes

Inside house of ill repute. Ash and Holly are keeping their word to Doyle...oh and yes, that is the Riceburner goblin tied up in the corner
Riceburner: If I had known you two were here, I'd have never shown up.

Holly: beneath woman kissing him: That is why we didn't say anything when you first snuck in.

Ash: two women kissing him: I still think we ought to go get Doyle.

Riceburner: Doyle? Doyle is looking for me?

Holly: And Frost

Riceburner: Great! Queen Andais' two greatest sidhe warriors are wandering the streets of St. Louis looking for me, and I let the shrubbery boys catch me. How humiliating.

Ash: *moving one woman so he can see Riceburner* Shrubbery boys? *looks at on woman* do I look like a shrub?

Woman: depends on what kind of shrub he's comparing you to.

Ash: What kind of shrub are you comparing us to?

Riceburner: I don't know, ashes and hollies?

Holly: kissing woman I am...going....to .....have to....kill him.

Ash: Doyle wouldn't like that. What number are we on now anyway?

Holly: I'm on 14, you are on 13 and 14.

Riceburner: how many are you doing?

Ash and Holly: 27

Riceburner: *hangs his head in disgust* Just let Holly kill me *Holly drops hand by bed for sword*

Ash: No, we promised Doyle, and we must keep our promises.

Riceburner: How long have you been doing this?

Ash: Two days now. WE should be done tomorrow.

Riceburner: How 'bout I go find Doyle and turn myself in? Sheesh!
.................................................. .
Street in St. Louis

Frost: I wonder where he went?

Doyle: Goblins are sneaky creatures capable of hiding anywhere. An attic, a basement, a storm cellar. Anywhere.
.................................................
Squeak squeak squeak

Riceburner to himself : I hate them sometimes.
..................................................

Frost: Maybe he went home.

Doyle: the Queen would have contacted us if he returned. I shudder to think what he is doing now.
.................................................. ....

squeak/squeak squeak/squeak squeak/squeak

Riceburner to himself: If I had a gun, I would shoot myself......after I shoot them.
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Frost: I don't know where to look anymore

Doyle: We must not give up, my friend. If the Riceburner hurts anyone, it could mean expulsion from America.
.................................................. ...

silence

Riceburner: All done? Hey, wasn't that 26 and 27 Ash? 27 Holly?

Holly: Next!!!!!
Frost and Doyle have wandered the streets of St. Louis for three days now unable to find the evil Riceburner Goblin who had escaped from King Kureg's Court. Nor have they heard anything about him. Fearing that he has left the area, they give up and go looking for Ash and Holly at the House of Ill Repute. Arriving at the window, they look inside and see Ash and Holly in the sitting room with *gasp* the evil Riceburner tied to a chair.
Doyle: They have had him all this time?

Frost: So it appears.

Doyle: You must go in and get them.

Frost: Me? It is more dangerous for me.

Doyle: Let me try this first. *raps on glass* Holly sees me. I think he and Ash are coming out.

Sidhe/goblin twins, half dressed but getting there, come outside with an assortment of human females hanging off them, inlcuding one very young female clinging to Holly's leg saying something about a goblinchild.
Ash: Doyle, Frost, we have accomplished our mission.

Frost: in amazement You......uh......entertained 27 women?

Holly: Yes, and then we did some for ourselves. *Looks down at adoring female clinging to his leg*

Adoring female: Take me with you. Please. I'll do anything.

Frost, Doyle and Ash: No!

Frost: Uh....Holly....after Dublin...I mean what happened here?

Holly: You said I couldn't eat them....so I tasted them. *best Gene Simmons impersonation, if Gene Simmons were alive in 1830*
Doyle: Enough gossip. How long have you had the Riceburner?

Ash: He snuck in that first night here.

Doyle: You have had him all this time and didn't think to tell us?

Holly: We THOUGHT about telling you *he locks lips with adoring female*

Ash: But we thought it more important to honor our word to you. *Holly is trying not to laugh*

Doyle*trying not to have a screaming fit*: Go get the rest of your things and bring the Riceburner out.....do not untie him.

Adoring female: *Holly releases her to go back inside* please...please..please

Ash *explaining the phenomenum to a startled Frost*: He took some extra time with her since it was her first.

Frost: Her first was Holly!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?

Ash: Yes, Holly likes virgins *he goes back into house with his females clinging to him*

Frost: Are you thinking.......

Doyle: No, I do not want to imagine what Holly does to virgins.

*both men shudder at thought*
Ash and Holly finally emerge with the evil Riceburner between them. He is still tied, but the gag has been removed. Riceburner sees Doyle and Frost.

Riceburner: Doyle! Doyle! You have got to get me away from them!
*throws himself at Doyle's feet*

Doyle: GET UP! You dserve whatever torture they did to you!

Riceburner looking up frantically at Doyle : This was not physical torture. It was more inhumane than that. All day, all night, squeek-squeek, squeek-squeek.....oh Ash...oh Holly...ooooooh Hoooollllyyyyy....oooohhhh ASH! It was horrible!
*Frost is shaking his head in disbelief and amazement*
For three days I have been in the hands of the shrubbery twins.

Holly: I still do not like that analogy

Ash: We will deal with it when we get home.

Adoring female runs outside and throws herself full body at Ash, realizes her mistake and almost tackles Holly. Frost is still having a difficult time with this concept. He and Ash peel her off Holly.

Holly: I promise, I will be back.

Adoring female: All men say that.

Holly: Look at me. Do I look like all men?

Adoring female: nnnnnoooooooo shudders

Holly: Go inside and await my return. Good girl.....go on.

Ash: You know she'll be at that window until you return.

Holly: evil chuckle I know. Notice I didn't say when I would return.

Doyle and Frost pick up Riceburner and start down the street with him between them. Ash and Holly are following, evil little smiles on their faces.

Rhys is listening to Doyle and Frost tell of their misadventure in St. Louis.

Rhys: 27 women?

Frost: More than that.

Rhys: I hate them sometimes.
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Frost and Doyle's misadventures with Ash and Holly