Robin Hood: Where It All Began | By : GuyOgisborne Category: > Robin Hood Views: 1484 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0 |
Disclaimer: I do not own Robin Hood, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story. |
A/N: Everyone in Robin Hood are in their mid-teens , troubled with emo and chav labels and the inner turmoil of bi-curiosity.
Robin Hood: Where It All Began
Chapter One: First Day Back
Robin prepared for his first day of Year 11 in front of the mirror, he nodded in approval at his baggy pink hoodie and tight light blue stone-wash jeans, He was also wearing a cool new pair of Nike trainers he bought off the black market, they used to belong to some guy, they were way to big for robin’s feet, so robin had to stuff a load of tissue in there to make up for lost room.
Robin quickly turned his head as Soulja Boi began to play, he nodded his head in approval at the well cool tune.
“Innit man!” He laughed smugly to himself, then he was disappointed cos no one was around when he well sed funny things innit.
He realised it was his phone and went to pick it up, MM it red on caller id.
“Innit wot up my ho?” Robin asked
“Not much my pimp suga daddy just waitin for u 2 pick me up remember, u promised u’d get me a ride, I’m well getting bored!” Maz pimped down the phone and then hung up.
Robin threw the phone on the floor tryin to keep his cool he threw his phone on the floor and it well crawled along like a snail on wheels innit, he looked in the mirror one last time every1 was well gonna luv his new hair cut innit well except may be the neighbour’s cat innit.
MeanWHILE (iNNit)
Giz slowly ate his coco pops thinking morbidly about the day ahead, he was blasting his headphones and listening to My Chemical Romance well loud so he couldn’t hear his dad practicing his speech to the Golfers committee. As Guy pulled out his chair he noticed one of the shoelaces had come undone on his black conversers.
“Oh Shit” He spat “ Why does it always happen to me!”
As he bent down to tie it up, his headphones came tumbling out of his ears and he heard his father say,
“What is it my dear boy?”
“Oh shut up dad u never listen, I hate you I’m tired of being ignored all the time, you never say nice skinny jeans and studded belt combo or nice I like the way u’ve put your jet black hair over ure eyes son! I hate you!” And with that he stormed out.
He slammed the front door behind him carrying his over the shoulder My Chem bag and once again blasting his headphones in his ears. Trying to hold back the tears, and not ruin his black eyeliner, as he headed for school.
Mean While (Agen)
V a.k.a Sherufman combed his freshly died black hair over his eyes and inserted his nose spike stud, this was all a desperate attempt to impress Giz, Sherufman had spent all Summer practicing being this well cool thing called “Emo” he well had the bling down, he wore a big bling cross chain and navy eyeliner just the ticket to impress Guy, He turned on the radio “Oh Hoosiers well cool innit oomigod and Snow Patrol Guy will well luv this innit man!”
Sheruf marched out the front-door with ill-deserved confidence and was shit on by a load of nearby pigeons, he got confused and thought this was part of the emo tradition so didn’t go home to shower and headed straight to skool, guy would well luv him now, he was covered in emo shit.
MeanWyle (Once More wit feelin)
Maz applied her fifth layer of foundation and then moved onto her eye make-up, first she well applied well thick layers of mascara 2 her eyelashes so she well looked like she had thick spider’s legs comin outta her eyes, she looked at her hair in disgust she had tried to die it blonde but it had well gone black by some freak accident she began to cry cos she looked proper emo, and robin well wouldn’t luv her anymore, when she looked in the mirror she saw dat her tears had made her mascara run around her eyes except it didunt look dat bad she sorta looked cool she got some tissue and wiped away the extra smudgey bits so it just looked like she was well wearing proper eyeliner, she took a step bak to take in her well new emo look she luvd it but it was well missing something innit, so she thought long and hard and den decided b4 skool she should well pierce her lip so she did.
“FFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUKKKKKKKKKK!!!” She well screamed in pain innit.
She looked in the mirror and was well pleased with the finished result innit, their woz even blood around her mouth which was well emo innit.
She walked out the front door and waited for Robin he was already dere sittin on his lil pink bicycle wit da safety wheels and everything, he looked directly at her and didn’t seem to recognise her.
“Excuse me dirty emo!” he spat
Maz stared at him well indignantly.
“u aven’t seen a well fit chav around ere anywhere around ere, wit shit 4 brains and the tits to make up 4 it?” He asked
She stared at him open mouthed.
“Urgh why am I talking 2 u I forgot u don’t understand cos I don’t speak emo, stupid bitch maz she probably left without out me. She is well gonna get beatings later, anyway see you later u dirty emo skank!” and with the he rode away on his little pink tweenies bike.
Marian began to cry and also headed 4 skool innit.
Allan finished applying his eyeliner and buttoning his tight black my chem jacket
life had improved well loads since he was taken over to the dark side wit guy, he went into da bathroom and finished applying bright red highlights in his fringe, on top of his now black hair, he nodded in the mirror and sed:
“How you Doin?” Much Like Joey from friends.
Sadly for Allan he lived in a flat and Robin’s crew lived all in da same apartment block and they well kept giving him beatings for turning emo. Even his ex D-Jak had spat on him and told him to go slit his wrists. All this shit made Allan want to cry, at least he knew what his “Friends” were really like now.
This morning he had 2 wait by the door until he was sure they had all left, he didn’t want to go bak 2 skool wit a broken nose. When he was sure dey had all left, he climbed out the door like a snail.
When Allan got to the top of the stairs he began to walk down them, but slipped as robin’s merry chavs had written emo in oil and allan slipped and fell all the way down the stairs. They emerged from behind a bin and well laughed at him, but then they were hit by a bus but were hardly hurt at all cos there was no one on the bus so it was really light, they then walked to school disgruntled leaving Allan behind weeping on the floor.
****************************************************************
When Allan was well sure dat dey were all well proper gone now innit he got up off the floor and saw a fellow emo walking nearby.
“Help me!” Allan tried to yell through mouthfuls of blood innit.
Maz turned 2 see Allan she had to restrain herself from screaming orgasmacally cos she hadn’t seen Allan since he was chav, now he was emo he looked well fit innit,
vshe wanted to ride his buff emo bod innit.
She ran over to him in her well emo My Chem Converse shoes.
“Wot up dawg, u alrite?” she asked
“Can u elp me stand innit” Allan well asked.
“Yeah kk sure coolio woteva innit lean on me, all dat u need 2 darlings!” She said well enthusiastically.
Al-un Well grabbed his opportunity and well wrapped his arms round maz’s chest, she couldn’t help but 2 let out a moan of pleasure innit.
“U no I well live just upstairs if u wanna see my bed-bedroom innit!” Al-un well grinned.
“That would be well cool I would well luv 2 see ure bed innit!” Maz well blushed
“K lets go innit, btw luvin da new you, u look well fit come on maid maz lets get u de-maidened!” Allan well scooped her up in his arms seeming to have regained all his strength innit, he den carried her upstairs and they well had sexual intercourse innit.
Guy was well nearly at school when his mp3 battery died, He kicked a nearby bin.
“Why me?!” He yelled ripping out his headphones throwing them tumbling to the ground and well stamping on them.
He looked down to see the wire was now broken.
“Aarrgghh!” He picked up the bin and threw it over a nearby gate, he leant his back against a nearby wall and collapsed to the ground in tears innit, No longer giving a shit about his eyeliner.
To cheer himself up he well got out his first issue of the comic book the umbrella academy written by lead singer of My Chemical Romance Gerard Way. Guy tenderly stroked the front cover then began to read, slowly his tears faded. He put away the comic back into his My Chem bag and Got out his Green Day compact mirror and well re- applied his eye-liner .
After finishing innit Guy stopped abruptly as he saw a familiar sixth-former walking past covered in some sort of white paste “Oh God” Guy rolled his eyes, it was Sherufman, he was not his usual chav self tho he had well turned chemo innit well pathetic guy thought to himself, he hated wannabe emo’s more than he hated chav’s he crawled like a snail underneath da skool gate innit in a well desperate attempt to escape b4 Sherufman saw him, much 2 giz’s dismay V had spotted him and was now marching towards him with ill deserved confidence and got shit on by a load of nearby pigeons agen some well got in his eyes. While Sherufman was temporarily blinded innit guy well made his escape and ran towards da skool entrance just as the first bell well went innit.
Robin’s merry chav’s had well caught up with him on his pink chav bike, dis year lil jon had a spec spongebob bag wich he had bought every1 copies of. Dey were all well pleased with their new bags innit. Dey all entered da skool innit strutting and shit. Robbo still on da bike riding through da skool halls innit, as da bell went dey well saw a skanky emo run past dey were about to trip him up, but his intense emo glare well scared the chav gay bois.
Shortly after dis dey saw 2 emo’s kissing beneath the stairs in da maths depatment dey well threw water all over dem, cos dey were sickened by da emo luv luv innit, maz and allan parted lips and rushed to assembly innit dey were all reddy five minutes late innit, dey were praying principle Richard would well not be 2 mad innit.
Dey well ran in a truly emo fashion 2 da assembly hall, da chav’s well close behind, As dey well ran dey well saw Sherufman stumbling well blindy innit 2 da sixthform common room.
Dey well entered the hall trying not 2 draw to much attention to demselves Guy woz already dere sat in front of his emo minions who would later in life becom guards and soldiers. On da udder side of da hall da chav minions who would later become peasants, well sat waitin for Robin and his merry chav crew, Allan ran to Guy leaving maz behind after dere well meaningless sexual encounter innit, not looking where he was going Allan sat on Giz’s lap to his surprise Guy did not mind. Allan smiled and turned round so dat his And Giz’s groins were touching principle K. Rich well watched wit interest.
Robin ran his bike into da chav minions and da wheels well got punctured, so he well had 2 sit on da floor wit all da lower beings, he wasn’t having dis so he made his merry chavs act as his bike and well hold him up.
Maz did not kno where to go innit she was an outkast from da chavs and allan well did not want her emo goodies anymo so she well sat on K. Rich’s lap tryin 2 make da bois jealous innit.
TBC
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