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Shadow of Love	By : Dreamproof Category: A through F > Ender's Game Views: 2096 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Ender's Game or any of the characters, I do not profit in anyway from this story.

Chapter List
- 1-Shadow of Love
- 1
(Takes place during the book Shadow Puppets in the Ender's Game series, if you haven't read the Shadow of
the Hegemon, Shadow Puppets and Shadow of the Giant, it may contain spoilers.)

Peter lay in his bed looking down at his desk as he finished another essay. It was boring in the starship,
and his parents mostly ignored him, leaving him to his work. He appreciated it for the most part, but his mind was getting tired, at least for the night.

He sighed and finished his work,turning his desk off and laying down, he tossed and turned, the barrier between his parents and his bunk blocked the sounds but he swore it didn't block their pheromones, and he had a feeling they were at it again.

Peter groaned in frustration, he wasn't going to give in, but he couldn't sleep, not like this. He picked his
desk back up and switched it on, and checked his email but he had nothing new, nothing important, he looked at the small icon on the desktop for the fantasy game and clicked it. He wasn't into games, but he figured he could at least bore himself enough to pass out.

He wandered around as a small mouse, playing odd games, all simple and stupid, nothing that took much
thinking until he came to the giant. Who didn't know about the giant? Anyone who heard the legends of his younger brother knew the story of the fantasy game and his encounter with the giant.

The two cups were both filled with poison, or some sort of liquid that would give him a horrible death. He just shrugged and for amusement he walked the mouse over to one of the cups and dipped its head in to drink and laughed quietly as the mouse fell back gurgling and vomiting, slowly dissolving into a puddle of blood, fur and bones.

It was amusing in the least and he came back to try it again, he wondered just how many types of deaths the mouse was limited to so when the giant presented him with the cups again he dipped the mouses head in again and smiled as the mouse shrieked and caught on fire, the Giant seemed to laugh with Peter and he pounded the mouse with his fist putting out the flames and leaving the mouse flattened and charred.

This time Peter resurrected further away, but he quickly made it back to the giant and drank again, this time the mouse grew and grew, and to Peter's surprise it turned into the image of Peter himself.

The Giant laughed maniacally forced the image of Peter onto the ground, tearing off his clothes.

Peter gasped as he watched the scene, how was this possible? Wasn't this supposed to be a child's game? He continued to watch as the Giant stripped his image and unfastened his own pants and forced himself onto the poor Peter image.

Before it got any further Peter shut the image off and tossed his desk to the end of the bed, he was shaking and covered with sweat. He looked down at his throbbing penis, he needed to do something about this, and he sighed, pulling the sheets of the bed up to his stomach. He always felt watched and even though they were told that they weren't bugged, he had a feeling that somehow he was.
He was quick, grabbing a bottle of lotion off the bed stand and rubbing it in his hands, the room was completely dark and he slipped his hands beneath the sheets and started to stroke himself, he bit his lip as he started to breath harder, one hand went lower, massaging his balls for a short time before slipping down to his asshole.
Peter blushed a bit to himself at his hidden desire, he rubbed the sensitive flesh and before he could tempt himself further he snatched his hand back and closed his eyes, he was not going to do this, he was not going to give into this. What would his parent's think if their only child left on earth gave intohis hidden homosexuality. They would hate him even more then they already did, his father would disown him without a doubt.
Tears ran down his cheeks as he continued to masturbate, it wasn't long before he finally gasped and arched back as he came into his hand. He lay there breathless and grabbed some tissues to wipe off. His mind swam and he closed his eyes.
I'm so pathetic, he thought as he lay there.
Morning came without warning, he was never surprised when his mother pulled open the separator for the bunks, completely invading his privacy, and knowing it pissed him off beyond all reason. He figured she half hoped to find him with a partner, without saying of course, of the opposite gender.
“Peter, you really shouldn't get in the habit of staying up so late and sleeping in all morning,”she complained at him.
He kept his eyes closed, not responding and completely ignoring her. What did she know? She just wanted a reason to bitch at him until he developed such a massive headache from it that he was forced to get up and find something to relieve it.
“You're just going to ignore me? Well...” she continued, her words meaningless to him, he heardthe random comparisons to Ender and the mention of exploring some of the sights of the starship where he was most famously known.
Peter finally gave up and groaned, “Why can't you just leave me alone?” he said as he sat up and glared at her, he didn't bother to listen to her excuse, he got out of bed and pulled on his underwear and got dressed as quickly as he could before bolting from the room.
He hated waking up pissed off, it really made him loath mornings. He didn't know where he was going, hedidn't feel like breakfast, he rounded corners, did everything he could to lose his parents if they came to find him. He knew it was immature, but he needed to get away from them.
Finally Peter stopped at a dead end and looked around. He saw nobody, he was finally alone and he sat downagainst the wall, his head hurt and he sighed, resting, it was dangerous to be alone, someone could kill him without anyone knowing a thing until it was too late.
A shadow loomed over him and he looked up to see Graff, the man smiled a bit, “Good morning, Peter.”
“Good morning, Graff,” Peter looked back down irritated, “I'm not lost. I just needed to get away from my parents.”
Graff noted the irritation in the young man's voice, “I know. Do you mind coming to breakfast with me,or perhaps somewhere else if you need more privacy?”
Peter stood up and sighed, “Sure, lets go somewhere more private.”
Graff nodded, “My office?”
Peter didn't say anything and followed Graff, he stayed quiet, even as the man ordered their breakfast to betaken to them and he watched as he palmed his door open and stepped inside and took a seat. He shifted nervously as Graff turned his back to him and immediately composed himself again as the man also sat down and faced him, “Really... I'm just tired.”
Graff sighed, “Peter, I'm not stupid, you don't have to make excuses,” there was a long silence.
Peter put his face in his hands, “thank you. I appreciate everything you've done for us, your support especially.”
Graff smiled warmly at him before looking up as the door opened and someone came in with a cart that carried two breakfast trays.
Peter watched as the man set down the trays and left the room with Graff's thanks. He looked down at the food and started to eat quietly.
Graff studied him, not saying anything else until they were done, he could tell conversation would be meaningless as long as he was in this mood.
Peter's fork shook slightly and he took a breath trying to keep his emotions in check, “I'm just reallyfrustrated right now, with Achilles holding most of the cards and my place as hegemon in question-” he closed his eyes putting a hand to his forehead, “I'm sorry, I know you know. It's just that I feel so powerless here. All I can do is write and hope to influence people from here.”
Graff nodded, “You've always had a lot of patience Peter, I have no doubt in your abilities to lead and bring peace and unity to Earth. A lot has happened, and despite the odds you're still trying, as long as you don't give up people will continue to have faith in you.”
Peter felt like laughing, Faith? There's still people that have faith in him? But he sighed and nodded, “As long as I'm still in office I'll keep trying.”
Graff nodded with a smile, “That's the spirit.”
Peter finished his food and stood up, “Thank you, Graff, I'm sorry I couldn't be better company.”
Graff nodded, “It's no problem, you're welcome to join me any time you need to talk.”
Peter nodded and walked out quickly and practically ran back to his room, stopping by only long enough to grab his desk and go to the library.
He stayed there most of the night typing essays and losing himself in his work, no one bothered him and he looked at the time on his watch, it was almost midnight. He stood up and went back to his room, the separator was up between his and his parents bunks, nothing new, he sat down in on his bed and leaned back, turning on his desk, he didn't bother to check his mail, he logged into the fantasy game.
To his character was still in his image and he walked around playing games until he decided to go back to the giant. Peter brought a hand to his mouth, the two cups were gone and instead the giant lay on his back, his massive cock hard and seemed to beckon to him to come close.
Peter had his character slip off his clothes and he walked over to the giant and straddled his cock. Slowly sliding down onto it. He was starting to breath hard as he watched his character move on the giant, the whole while the giant laughed and played with his image, it didn't take too long before the gaint let out a roar as he reached his climax, Peter's image didn't, it immediately started to twitch and convulse, then fell over dead.
Peter looked at the screen for a long time before setting the desk aside, like the night before, he was left completely aroused and decided to take care of business.
A week passed and he continued his work during the day, and played the game before he went to bed. It was always the same, he found the giant waiting for him, and he would instruct his character to submit to him, each time dying and turning off the game to relieve his own desires.
Graff walked into the library one night as Peter was writing his essays and sat down by him, “Do you mind coming to my office?”
Peter looked up at him, he was a bit irritated, “Is there something wrong?”
“Nothing of grave importance, but I would like to talk to you about something,” he answered.
Peter stretched, “alright,” he sighed and shut off his desk and stood up.
Graff led him to his office and the two sat down, “I noticed you've been playing the fantasy game,” he said bluntly, cutting to the point.
Peter forced a laugh, “Yeah, I had no idea how fucked up that game was.”
Graff nodded, “It does some interesting things sometimes, for you and Ender especially,” he watched Peter closely, “I'll admit I'm curious. Can you tell me why would the fantasy game...” he cleared his throat a bit, “... would become a gay fantasy porno for you?”
“Shouldn't I be asking you that? It's your damn game!” Peter almost choked as he turned bright red.
Graff shook his head, “I don't know everything about the game, it was obvious that you were getting some sort of sick humor out of the game with killing the mouse time and time again, but now you just seem to be indulging in the giants new strange game, despite the fact that it leads to death every time.”
Peter was completely embarrassed, he looked down not answering.
Graff looked at him, “You've never had a girl friend Peter, the only girl you've EVER been close to was your sister Valentine.”
“I'm a busy man, and have been since I was young. Being Hegemon really takes up a lot of time and dedication, I simply don't have time to get into any serious relationships,” Peter tried to keep a straight face as he spoke.
“I have no doubt about that, but I'm sure you can see how I could be concerned,” Graff looked over at him, his expression also very serious.
“You could be concerned?! Graff I'm not-!”
“I think you ARE!” Graff cut him off.
Peter's mouth dropped, “You're wrong, I'm a heterosexual young man. It's impossible for me to be otherwise.”
Graff shook his head, “You're only lying to yourself Peter.”
“Why would it matter to you? Why would it matter to anyone?” Peter glared at him.
Graff leaned forward in his chair, “It matters to me because I know how it feels, I know what it's like to hide that part of myself.”
Peter blinked, “You're not serious.”
Graff sighed, “I'm very serious, Peter, I'm an old man, I've been with a couple men, but that was in my youth, I've hid myself from everyone around me for so many years now. If you're gay Peter, you shouldn't tear yourself apart, at least not for as long as I have.”
Peter looked down, “I-I can't come right out and say it either, I'd lose all respect as a Hegemon, and my parents...”
Graff watched him, “So, I am right.”
Peter bent over looking down at his knees, after a few minutes of dreaded quiet he started to shake and sob.
Graff immediately stood up and walked around his desk to him, kneeling down in front of Peter and pulling him into a comforting hug, “It's alright, I'm sorry...”
Peter tried to calm himself as he cried on the older man's shoulder, “I never wanted anyone to know, Graff... you have to understand,” he sobbed.
“That's why I'm here, Peter. I understand, and I want to help you in every way I can. I'll keep your secret, but I know what it's like to need someone to talk to,” Graff took his shoulders and forced him back so he could look into Peter's eyes, “You don't have to feel shamed around me.”
Peter tried to wipe his tears away and sighed, he looked like a wreck, “Thank you Graff, I can't begin to express my appreciation.”
Graff smiled and stood up, “You're always welcome Peter.”
Peter took his hand in both his hands and rested his forehead against it, “I'm so tired...”
Graff nodded, “It's late, you should probably go to bed.”
Peter kissed his hand and stood up, letting it go, “You're right. Good night, Graff.”
Graff smiled, “Good night, Peter.”
Peter nodded and walked over to the door.
“Peter,” Graff looked over at him, getting his attention before he walked out.
Peter stopped and turned to him, “Yes?”
“Don't play that game anymore, It's not worth it,” Graff told him.
“Alright...” Peter sighed and walked out and back to his room, quietly taking off his clothes and laying in bed. He tossed and turned, unable to sleep, he felt like a weight had been lifted off his shoulders, he was nervous and excited, but he was also very scared.
He kept thinking about Graff, and how the man admitted to him about his own homosexuality, he somehow found himself trusting completely in the man, something his parents would never do. He thought on this throughout the night, Graff was the only man that knew his secret, he wondered if the he would be opposed to having a secret relationship with him. Age didn't matter to Peter, not when the only other option was absolutely nothing, they could easily fulfill each others desires, despite the fact that they hardly seen each other, but it could be enough, at least on Peter's end.
Before his mother could open the separator, Peter was up and had sent an a request to see Graff, but the answer came back fruitless, Graff had left to Earth. Peter almost screamed in frustration and tossed the desk across the room, but he quickly regained his senses and sighed, setting the desk down and covering his face as he willed his tears to stay away.
Theresa opened the separator and looked over at her son, “Peter, are you alright?” she asked and sat down by him and tried to pull his hands from his face, but he wouldn't budge, “Peter...”
“I'm fine...” he finally exhaled and took his hands away, his eyes looked tired and stressed, “I'm fine...” he repeated.
His mother examined him and sighed, “alright,” she knew it would be useless to get anything else out of him so she stood up and walked away.
Peter stood up and paced back and forth for a few minutes before pulling on a pair of pants and a shirt.
It was another three weeks before Graff returned, nothing had really changed, Peter sat in the library typing away when a message came on his screen.
“Report to my office immediately-Graff”
Peter stared at it for a moment then saved his work and quickly made his way to Graff's office, he palmed the door and stepped inside.
Graff sat at his desk, he didn't look up as Peter came in, only continued typing, “Good evening, Peter, how have you been the past couple weeks?”
Peter sat down, “I've been fine, nothing out of the norm, I've been keeping up with current events and posting what I can in the forums,” he sounded uninterested and bored with the conversation.
Graff looked over at him finally, “You haven't played the game.”
Peter shrugged, “No, of course not, you told me not to and it was boring, why waste my time?”
Graff nodded, “Nobody has caught on to your identity? How are your parents?”
“Everything is fine so far, I avoid talking to anyone, I'm usually pretty buried in my work, as for my parents, they couldn't be better, it's almost sickening,” Peter leaned back in his chair pretending to be nauseous.
Graff couldn't help but laugh, “I'm glad you're doing so well.”
Peter's expression suddenly became very serious, “Graff, I wanted to make a proposition.”
Graff arched a brow curiously, “a proposition?”
Peter stood up and leaned over Graff's desk, barely an inch from the man's face, “We both have a common secret and careers that could be greatly effected if it came out,” he whispered, “I can trust you Graff, and I hope you can trust me. Why not entrust our desires to one another?”
Graff's eyes widened in a bit of shock, “Peter, I'm more then twice your-” he was broke off as he was suddenly pulled into a passionate kiss, he didn't fight it, he reached a hand up to run it over the young man's cheek and back through his hair, pulling him deeper into it.
Peter moaned softly into it and after a couple minutes their mouths parted, “I don't care how old you are Graff. I'm serious.”
Graff was breathless, he looked up at Peter and nodded, “That's obvious.”
Peter grinned, “It doesn't have to be serious Graff, but you can't tell me you don't have your urges. I'm young and I have no outlet outside of myself for my lusts, we can help each other and keep the secret between ourselves. I've thought this through Graff, will you do it?”
Graff was almost dumbstruck but he sighed and nodded, “Alright, I'll do it.”
Peter almost laughed, but instead beamed a massive smile, “So when do we start?”
Graff laughed and shook his head, “I have a feeling you wont settle for anything later the now.”
Peter looked around, “Indeed. Your room?” he straightened up.
Graff smiled and stood up, “Alright,” they left his office quickly and went down a few hallways to a door and Graff palmed it open and they walked in.
Peter looked around at the small but very clean room, then turned to Graff and pulled him into another kiss, quickly unbuttoning his uniform, the man's hands moved over him, doing the same, slowly removing his clothes.
Graff's hands ran down his naked back and over his soft ass, gently grasping it before a hand moved between them to tease the tight entrance.
Peter blushed deeply and broke the kiss, gasping, “Graff, I've never done this...” he knew it was obvious, but he didn't want the man to forget for a moment and do anything that could permanently damage him.
Graff smiled, “I know, just try to relax, I WON'T hurt you,” he led him over to the bed and positioned him on his hands and knees, “relax, Peter...”
Peter sighed, “okay...” he was already breathing heavily and moaned softly when he felt the man's hands spread his ass cheeks before his mouth and tongue started to taste and sample him, “guh! Graff!” he gasped and cried out as he felt the man's tongue penetrate him deeply, his head spun as his body burned with need.
Graff didn't stop, he caressed the young man's thigh's with one hand as he held him steady with the other, he leaned back after a while and ran his fingers over the moist opening, “let me know if this starts to hurt.”
Peter didn't have time to answer, he felt one of the man's fingers push its way in and he whimpered at the sudden pain, “No-not so fast, that hurts.”
Graff tried not to laugh, “I'm sorry, it's going to hurt more then just a little the first time, Peter.”
Peter looked back at him, his eyes filled with fear, “But you sai-” he suddenly broke into a loud moan when the man's finger started to slide against his prostate, it was a mixture between pleasure and pain, and though the pain burned the pleasure pulsed through his body.
Graff continued to slide his finger inside him, massaging into him, when he was certain Peter was ready he entered another finger, making the young man gasp and tense around his digits, “It'll be alright...” he whispered as he moved his fingers slowly, letting him adjust.
Peter was panting now, his whole body seemed to throb with passion, he wanted to tell Graff he was ready, but he let the older man do what he had to to make sure he didn't cause him unnecessary pain, “oh...Graff...”
“You can call me Hyrum, Peter,” he whispered as he withdrew his fingers and reached into a dresser for a condom.
Peter rested on his side as he watched him open it and slide the condom on his thick cock, his fingers had felt missive inside him, he could only imagine how much this might hurt, he examined the older mans body, he was thickly muscled despite his age, unlike himself, Peter hardly ever worked out, but he was naturally slim.
Hyrum Graff looked up at him, his eyes seemed to reflect the passions of the younger man, and he gestured for Peter to come to him as he leaned back against a mass of pillows.
Peter crawled up to him, and the older man positioned him to where he straddled over his cock, Hyrum used one hand to hold it steady while the other directed Peter properly in place.
“You're in control, if it hurts you can slow down or do what feels best,” he said as he breathed heavily.
Peter kissed him, “alright...” he slowly lowered himself onto him, a couple tears ran down his cheeks as pain shot through him, he had to cover his mouth to muffle a short sob but he quickly regained himself, “I'm alright,” he looked back up at the older mans concerned expression, “It hurts, but it'll be alright...” he let out a long sigh of sudden relief when he finally had him completely inside him.
Hyrum tilted his head back moaning deeply, “You're so damn tight, it feels amazing.”
Peter blushed a little and held onto his shoulders, slowly lifting himself back up. A bead of sweat ran down his forehead and he moaned and sighed as he moved back down. He held a slow pace for a while until he was comfortable.
Hyrum stayed relaxed, he licked the inside of his hand with thick saliva and took Peter's dick in hand, slowly pumping it in the rhythm of the young man's own movements.
Peter bit his lip as he moved, his whole body felt aflame and he felt himself growing closer to his climax, “Ah, Hyrum!” he cried out as he started to move faster, tightening himself around the man's cock.
He grunted and had to restrain himself from thrusting into Peter, his hand adjusted to the speed and shifted over the head of his cock when he felt the young man's orgasm hit.
Peter had to cover his mouth when he cried out, it was loud and startling and he arched his back coming into the man's hand.
Graff wasn't as loud when he came, but he thrust in deep as he was struck with his own waves of passion, when his body was finally spent he relaxed back against the pillows gasping with exhaustion.
Peter rested on top of him, wrapping his arms over the man's sweat covered shoulders, “There goes my virginity...” he laughed softly.
Hyrum smiled and grabbed some tissues off the night stand to wipe his hand, “You weren't too bad, but I'm not complaining,” he held Peter firmly as he rolled them both over to where he hovered over the young man.
Peter grinned and looked up at him, “I should say the same about you, old man,” he pulled him down into a deep passion filled kissed, both sets of hands exploring the others body.
Hyrum sat up at last and pulled out, tossing the condom in the trash, “Are you alright?”
Peter sat up on his elbows to look at him, “Yeah, I think so. I feel a bit sore, but that's to be expected, I'm sure.”
Hyrum nodded, “Yes, it'll be that way the first few times at least,” he reached down between Peter's legs gently fondling him.
Peter practically purred, he sighed and lay back, enjoying himself.
It was close to midnight when Peter finally made it back to his room, his body ached and he was completely spent, there seemed to be no end to their love making until they noticed the time. After a long shower Peter practiced walking without visibly showing discomfort and decided to get to bed.
His parents had gone to sleep already, and he walked over to his bunk and lay down, he didn't bother checking his mail, he closed his eyes and it wasn't long after when his mind slipped into slumber.
- 1
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Shadow of Love