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Edward's Honeymoon	By : BettingonAlice Category: Twilight Series > Het F > Bella/Jacob Views: 3883 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or make any money from this story.

Chapter List
- 1-Edward's Honeymoon
- 1
Edwards Honeymoon
            I’m sure I showed proper confidence as I carried my new wife over the threshold, but in truth I was terrified. Bella always had complete faith in me. The problem was that I was nowhere near worthy of her trust. I would hurt her. I would kill her. It was likely that at least one of these things would happen tonight. I considered forgetting the whole thing, but Bella looked so happy. That and I did promise to try this, even if it was under duress.
            I allowed Bella a “human minute” and I was happy that she agreed to a midnight swim. I had figured Bella would do better with a gradual introduction to a vampire in the raw. I was even more pleased when she was comfortable enough to join me in the ocean without a bathing suit. She had gotten the hint. Things steamed up all too quickly and it wasn’t long before I found myself carrying her out of the water and into the large white bed.
            I planned to go slow, I really did. One glimpse at Bella had my control trembling violently across its fault lines. I’d never seen Bella so Beautiful, so enticing, so … ready. Before I knew it I was crushing my lips against hers as she made a low, muffled sound. Was it a good sound, or did it mean she was in pain? It alarmed me to realize that I didn’t care. Abruptly, my control fused itself back together. I broke off the kiss and cradled her gently. “I’m so sorry, Bella, my love. I don’t want to hurt you.” I looked deeply into her eyes and saw rejection. SHIT! Now I had hurt her feelings, too. “No, Edward! I want to do this. I know you can’t hurt me.” Bella persisted with pleading eyes, “You promised.” I sighed and pulled myself together. I was either going to have to demand celibacy or commit to this completely. I couldn’t deny her anything, so I committed to giving Bella what she wanted. Carlisle said he’d be ready by the phone if I needed him, so At least Bella had a safety net. “Okay, Okay.” I teased. Then I stared at her, truly serious. “I promised we’d try. If I do something wrong if I hurt you, you must tell me at once.” Then Bella smiled and leaned in towards me and murmured, “Don’t be afraid. We belong together.” And then it hit me. I was the one who was afraid, and she was the one with complete confidence. I suddenly didn’t feel like such a predator anymore. I suddenly realized that I wanted this human experience just as much as she did.
            I smiled and kissed her gently. I could do this. I could keep my control in place, for her. Naturally, Bella would have to test that thought as soon as it was formed. Now it was her lips attempting to crush against mine. My control trembled again, but the trust in her eyes held it together. All my senses told me that she was ready, so now was the moment of truth. I saw her nervousness as I held her against me, but I reminded myself of how much we both wanted this. We both took a deep, steadying breath at the same time. I smiled. We were already perfectly synchronized. I moved forward gently and caressed my Bella with a feather light touch. I gauged her reaction carefully. Her wide expression mirrored exactly how I felt: Bliss. “I love you, Bella” I choked as we continued slowly. A soft mumble was her only verbal reply, but her eyes locked onto mine conveying that pure bliss, unmarred by the pain or discomfort I feared. Her arms gripped me tighter as she kissed my neck. I pressed her against my chest as I felt my control tremble again.
            Her reaction was suddenly frantic. It didn’t matter this time if it was good or bad. There was no way to stop myself now. These feelings were too powerful and my control had shattered. I became more frantic as well, my control dangerously unhinged. I couldn’t tell if the sounds Bella made were expressing pleasure or pain. I cursed myself for losing it this way. I couldn’t stop. I couldn’t even slow or soften my movements. The sounds we made grew louder. Mine were from fighting for control. I could only hope that hers were not indications of agony. Just as I thought I couldn’t be more of a monster to my beautiful bride, it happened. It was exactly what I had been dreading from the moment I met her. My fangs bared of their own accord and my head shot down towards her: striking for the kill. I couldn’t control this movement any more than I could control the rest of my body. It was as if someone else entirely was using my body. In a sense, that was true. I was not in control, the monster within me had finally won. His triumph sickened me. My only saving grace was that Bella had moved in that instant. She had twisted her body underneath mine. Was she trying to get away? I had no control left for it to matter. My fangs sank into the feather pillow instead. The monster within me howled in rage as I made short work of Esme’s fancy pillows. The monster still had control over my body and it broke my heart to know that he wasn’t the only one enjoying himself. I still felt every blissful feeling and I was the one who didn’t want that to stop. I began to tremble with the overwhelming feelings as I heard Bella’s breath come in frantic gasps. Her nails were trying to dig into my back and her eyes clenched shut. I never felt so completely helpless until sudden, overwhelming waves of passion crashed against me. Bella screamed my name at the top of her lungs as my body finally spent itself within her. I sobbed as I cradled her body gently against mine. She was still breathing heavy, but quickly falling asleep. I could see the bruises already starting to form all over her body. I could have destroyed myself when the burn in my throat preceded the smell of freshly spilled blood. There were a few drops spilling onto the sheets beneath her hips.
            I called Carlisle in a panic. “What is it, son?” he asked in deep concern. I sobbed every detail to him as he listened silently. “It sounds as if she very lucky.” He soothed. “LUCKY!!??!!” I shouted. “She was nearly destroyed!” “But she wasn’t.” Carlisle corrected. “She’s not bleeding badly. In fact, it’s normal for many women after their first experience. The bruises are not even an issue.” “BUT I HURT HER!!” I sobbed, then my voice grew weak with shame, “I think I hurt her bad.” Carlisle’s thoughtful pause was unbearable. “You’re not entirely certain of that. Please hear me out. Simply ask her how she feels when she wakes up. If she says she was frightened, a simple apology may be all that’s necessary. If she’s in pain you can feel free to call me again and I’ll be happy to assess her injuries … if there are any. She’s in no danger now, so there is no need for you to treat yourself like a monster.” It took me a long time to absorb what he said. I looked over at my exhausted wife and sighed. “Thank you Carlisle. I’ll see how she feels in the morning, but I beg to differ on the monster issue.” Now it was Carlisle’s turn to sigh. “You’re always welcome, son.” He said as he disconnected the line. I turned to my wife and ached to hold her. I ached to comfort her, but she would want to wake in the arms of her abuser. I considered a long run, or maybe a swim, but I could stand to be farther away from her than the bed. I watched the sun rise until she finally woke.
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Edward's Honeymoon