Sympathy for the Devil | By : K.Blood Category: A through F > The Forbidden Game Trilogy Views: 1677 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0 |
Disclaimer: *Before you start the story please read the below disclaimer. It's very important.* |
Disclaimer: The Forbidden Game Trilogy and all its characters were created by Lisa Jane Smith. This is just a fan story based on her works, using her characters. All rightful credit is given to her. I make no profit from this.
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If you see it anywhere else please let me know because that means it was stolen. Thank you.
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Summary: For Jenny and Julian a moment of understanding becomes something more...
Setting: Set during The Kill, chapter 7; after Julian saved Jenny from being drowned by his elders.
Originally Posted: May 2012 (Revised January 2019) (Original snippet posted July 2011)
Rating/Warnings: Adults only, 18+. Story contains mild language, angst, and depictions of sex, M/F.
Distribution/Sharing: Links only, please. No translations or reprints.
Word Count: 4,262
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Author's Note: (January 2019 update - on removing the snippet)
The first version of this story was a short snippet (only around 600 words long). There really wasn't much depth to it so I re-wrote it into the much longer version you see here. I did have the original posted along side this one, but have since removed it. If you were a fan of the original, then I'm sorry. Maybe give this version a try and you might like it too? They were pretty much the same. This one is basically just a much more fleshed out version of the snippet. I really feel this is the superior version and this is the one I want to share with people.
If any of you feel like reviewing that would be wonderful (even if you don't like it—I cherish all constructive criticism).
Second Note: This story is really a re-writing of chapter 7. A lot of it is my own writing but some lines and dialogue are taken straight from the book.—All credit to L.J. No plagiarism intended.
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Sympathy for the Devil
By: K. Blood
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There was nothingness.
Then feeling settled into the numbness, slowly thawing into a sensation of hot needles stabbing at her skin. The feeling was sharp and tight, and hurt so much. Jenny didn't want to open her eyes. She prayed the pain would fade again and the sweet oblivion of nothing would return.
Jenny! Jenny!
Tom?
He sounded scared.
He needs me...
Her insides felt frozen even as the fire of spiky needles tingled along her skin. Oh god, it hurt. But Jenny forced herself forward. For Tom.
"Jenny. Please, Jenny, come back—"
Oh, no. No, don't cry. Please.
He was hurting. She needed to let him know it was all right, that everything would be okay. The pain was terrible and the dark nothingness was trying to drag her back down, but Jenny focused her will. She concentrated on pulling through the blackness. She knew the only way to make everything okay was to come back.
There was a sense of fuzzy warmth and Jenny dragged herself towards it. The pain was terrible and with immense effort she pried her eyes open.
For you, Tom.
But it wasn't Tom. It was Julian.
And Julian was...trembling?
The very notion was hard to perceive. It made her dizzy, or perhaps that was the lump of ice in her gut.
This wasn't Julian. That was the only explanation for it. This person leaning over her, rubbing her tingling hands between his own, wasn't Julian. He looked afraid. His eyes were dark with fear and as wide as a child's. His face was pale and thin. Not like Julian at all, who was always arrogant and mocking.
"Drink this, it should help."
He supported her head, pressing a steaming cup to her lips. Jenny noticed for the first time that she was lying down in a nest of some kind. It felt like fur. Very soft. Very comfortable. The liquid in the cup was hot and soothing. It sent warmth coursing through the ice which lingered in her veins. She could feel the heat of a fire nearby. It helped too, sending Jenny into a state of pleasant relaxation. She wanted to sleep, but was afraid that if she drifted back into the darkness it wouldn't release her a second time.
Tremors continued through the hands which supported her. Gentle. There was another reason this person could not possibly be Julian. Julian was never gentle. He belonged to a race that didn't have gentle emotions. They didn't know tenderness, weren't capable of pity. They stalked you from the shadows, stole your friends and forced you to play their horrible games.
A sudden anger brought life back to Jenny. She sat up, pulling away from this stranger. She wanted the other Julian, wanted to reprimand him for all the awful things he had done to her.
"I thought I'd lost you."
The voice was low, muted. Not like the Shadow Man's usual tone at all—but it was him. For a moment Jenny could only stare as her mind fought to process this new insight. Her tempter left her, making her feel suddenly powerless as she sat there with this new Julian.
"Then you didn't send the water?"
He just looked at her. The dangerously beautiful smile that normally curved his lips was gone. He looked so...frail.
This isn't Julian, her mind demanded, as if she could somehow make it true.
She thought of all the horrible things he had ever done to her, to her friends. A monster. Julian was a monster, a Shadow Man. Only now he didn't seem like one. Grim and vulnerable, he looked almost human.
Jenny realized they were in some kind of cavern, alone. Abruptly, in the small space with no one but the two of them, and no other sound but the soft roar and crackle of the fire, the past seemed very far away. Almost as if it hadn't happened to her, but someone else. As if Julian wasn't what she knew he was.
"You would have cared if I died," Jenny spoke slowly, realizing for the first time that it was true.
His eyes searched hers, and then looked away. "I've told you how I feel about you."
Yes, he had said that he loved her, but Jenny had never sensed much tenderness in the emotion. She would have mentioned this but it seemed cruel to say such a thing to someone who looked so lost.
"Yeah, but, we're so different."
She was crazy. This was craziness. Why was she sitting here discussing this with him? She should be demanding he let her go to seek out her friends and finish this stupid game of his. But Julian was being so...
Well, she had just never seen him like this.
They were looking at each other now, quietly. Such a thing had never happened before. Eyes unwavering, but without challenge. It meant something to look into someone's eyes this long. But of course she had wondered...
"Why?"
"Would you like a list?" His face was completely blank, his voice clipped and emotionless.
"A—what?"
"Hair like spun gold, eyes green as the Nile," he seemed completely dispassionate about it, hollow. "But it's not the color, really, it's the expression. The way they go so deep and soft when you're thinking."
His face may have been expressionless, but his eyes were gleaming softly. In their depths was a pain so intense it left them almost vacant.
"Julian..."
"Skin that glows, especially when you're excited. A golden sheen all over you."
"Julian—"
"There's something inside you that makes you different, a certain kind of spirit. You're innocent, sweet. Gentle, but with a spirit like flame. Even after everything that's—"
"Julian!" Jenny seized him by the upper arms, feeling almost frightened, though she wasn't sure why.
He just stared at her with those black eyes, helpless and lost. Not at all like the predator she knew him to be. This wasn't the wolfish hunger he had displayed so many times before. This was different. He looked almost starving. It was as if Julian was hungry for something he'd never had; filled with a crippling need even he didn't understand.
He turned his face away from her, staring off at nothing with eyes so deep and emotional, yet somehow empty as well. Jenny seemed to see him for the first time, looking at him with new eyes. He looked so—small.
Yes, small and vulnerable.
Jenny pulled her hands away as if he had burned her. This new Julian was dangerous. He made her feel faint. Nothing in the universe was moving except for her heart, and that was shaking her whole body.
No, she tried to tell herself as the questions struggled to surface in her mind. NO!
Julian was evil, a part of an evil race. The Shadow Men were dark, uncaring things. They didn't know compassion or love. Julian did not love her! It was obsession. Not love. Julian...he didn't...he couldn't...
"But you can have anything you want," she found herself saying. Her voice felt so weak, yet it came out almost shouting in the quietness of the cavern. "You can create it."
"It's not the same. Things fade here. They don't last. All there is to do is to watch from the dark places everything happening on the worlds that aren't full of shadows." His eyes met hers. "Earth has colors. Colors that you never find here."
The glow of soft firelight danced highlights through his hair. She wanted to touch him. Jenny shook her head, confused by her own thoughts. "But why do you stay here, then? Instead of watching us, you could—"
Jenny silenced herself. What in the hell was she saying? Inviting the Shadow Men to her world—no, not the Shadow Men. Just Julian. This Julian. The one which looked so gentle and sad.
She took a deep breath and let it out slowly. On second thought: No, not Julian either. He was one of them. Cold and malicious.
And vulnerable, Jenny's mind spoke to her, watching the emotional turmoil in his eyes.
He loves me. God, help me, but he honestly really does seem to love me.
She had almost died and look what it had done to him.
If he could love could he be as cruel as she had thought?
From the beginning Julian had used force and trickery. He had tried to bully her into submitting to him. He'd threatened her, hurt her friends—killed Summer.
Maybe he was evil because that was all he knew? What if he had known better? What if she had met him, looking as tender as he did now?
"Why couldn't you have just come and asked?" Jenny found herself saying. She'd said similar things in the past, but that had only been a ruse to get free, and she hadn't really thought about it. Now she did.
Julian frowned, as if her question confused him.
"Why couldn't you have just shown up on my doorstep and introduced yourself?" Her voice was starting to come out in a whine. She sounded desperate. Jenny knew it was because she was desperate.
The questions were dangerous. The territory her thoughts were venturing into was dangerous. And Jenny was letting herself leap headfirst into it all...
"Why, Julian?" she pressed.
He only stared at her.
"You... It honestly never occurred to you? That you wouldn't have to use force?"
"No one willingly comes here. Not to this world."
Jenny felt suddenly sad. Without thinking she raised her hand and touched his face. His own fingers automatically moved to lay over hers and took them into his hand.
"Julian..." she whispered, feeling something inside her ache softly at the new look which crept into his eyes: Hope.
"If I gave them back to you, your friends, if I ended The Game right now would you—"
"Julian," she cut him off. Jenny didn't want him to ask that question. She didn't want to watch the new light in his eyes die away so soon with the only answer she would ever have to give him.
But Julian wasn't about to let the subject drop. His grip tightened on her hand. "Would you?"
"Julian, please..."
"Why not?" he demanded, his tone more desperate than angry.
Jenny felt tears and blinked them away.
Julian loved her, obviously more deeply than she had first realized. He offered her everything she could ever want. He had pierced the veil between the worlds just to be with her.
And a part of her did want to stay with him, Jenny had to be honest with herself about that. But still, she couldn't.
Why not? her thoughts echoed.
Because...because...
When she managed to speak her voice was just above a whisper: "Because you hurt Tom."
Abruptly, Julian was on his feet. He stormed away to the edge of the firelight and stood there with his back to her. It had all happened so quickly. It took Jenny's mind a moment to catch up.
"Right, Tommy," Julian was saying. The frailness had left his voice to be replaced with the usual contempt. "Everything begins and ends with him."
His tone made her angry. It appeared the old Julian had returned. Before she knew what she was doing, Jenny was up too, heatedly approaching the Shadow Man's back.
Damn him. He wanted to act this why? Fine! He didn't understand. She'd make him understand.
Instead of circling around to face him, Jenny put a rough hand on his shoulder and pushed him around to look at her. She glared up into his startled face.
"You're right. I've known Tom since I was seven. Knowingly loved him since the second grade. He's been there for most of my life. He's a part of me. And from the very beginning you hurt him, Julian. You hurt him. You hurt me. And because of that you'll never have a chance!"
Something turned in Julian's gaze. She expected him to get angry, to threaten her, and maybe even hurt her. Instead he closed his eyes and looked away. Had she wounded him? Truly hurt him with her words? Too bad. He had hurt her, too.
The thought didn't make Jenny feel any better. Actually it made her feel worse.
Julian spoke softly under his breath, the dark midnight blue of his eyes turned away from her, toward the cavern's rocky wall. The fire made honey and scarlet streaks dance over his exotic silver hair.
His voice was so low. Jenny couldn't make out the words. "What?"
He seemed to take a second to gather himself before looking back at her with another blank expression. He repeated, "I was there too."
Jenny took a deep breath to curve her frustration. Still, she nearly shouted, "You were stalking me! Don't tell me you can't see the difference."
His arms crossed his chest defensively and he leveled a stern glare at her. "I was watching you. Keeping you safe."
Jenny wanted to laugh. "You honestly don't get it, do you?"
He continued to glare.
It occurred to her then that he honestly didn't understand. Was a being like Julian even capable of understanding such a thing? Jenny felt a little of her anger melt. Out of sympathy, maybe? Perhaps she was just tired of it all. All the useless struggle and challenge between them which seemed to get them nowhere. She was exhausted. Part of her wanted to give in and be done with it. The other part just wanted to scream and throw things. Preferably at the Shadow Man's head.
"Okay, fine. You were protecting me, right? Then why?" she asked, her voice suddenly choked with emotion. "You could have stopped it. Why did you let me and Tom stay together? If you were watching me like you've claimed to then you saw what was happening. Why did you let me fall in love with him?"
Julian watched her for a silent moment before looking away again. "I wanted you to be happy."
"But if you were planning to someday drag me to your world then why bother at all?"
He looked suddenly as exhausted as she felt. Jenny studied him closely, searching for some hint to what was really going on behind the stoic mask he held in place. When Julian didn't answer, or even raise his eyes to look at her, Jenny rested her hand on his arm.
"Julian, please just..." She signed. "Please."
He looked at her then, his eyes as black as a starless night. There was heaviness in them. Something sad and broken. "I'm sorry."
The words were simple, yet so deep in their meaning. She understood then, as if she'd been hit with a rush of cold ice water. For a moment she could only stare at him. "You weren't going to bring me here, were you?"
Julian didn't answer. There was no reason to, the truth was clear enough.
"What changed?"
He remained silent. Once again he looked like the person who had held her with trembling hands and dark, mournful eyes.
"Please, Julian. Talk to me."
Perhaps it was her pleading which finally got to him. Jenny watched Julian swallow to clear his throat. He was shaking slightly. She could feel it under her hand.
He met her eyes, but couldn't hold it. Dropping his vacant gaze to the floor, he said: "I realized one day, watching you, that I wanted to be happy too."
Jenny felt an ache in her chest. For him. For her. Because sometimes life could be unbearable.
Before she knew what she was doing her mouth was on Julian's, her arms hugging his neck.
He didn't respond at first. Shocked, maybe. Or waiting to see if this was some new type of trick. Jenny felt a sudden need to apologize for that. It was her fault he couldn't trust her—but it was his fault that she couldn't trust him, either. They had done this to each other. For a painful moment Jenny wished things were different.
Slowly, Julian relented and his arms encircle her waist. He held her closer as he took control and the kiss grew feverish. Jenny couldn't help noticing the feel of his body against hers. Her soft form easily melted against his harder one. He could quite easily hurt her if he really wanted to. If he chose to he really could force her to do anything he wanted, and yet he had always held back.
In the paper house he could have hurt her; hurt her so badly that she wouldn't have been able to finish the game. After he escaped from the closet he could have simply claimed her, yet he had relented and offered another game. And when he had lost that one even the ring of fire he had threatened her and her friends with had been only an illusion.
Jenny felt herself trembling, from both the kiss and the thought of how much worse things could have gone. She had met the other Shadow Men not so long ago. Had seen the cold look which burned in their eyes. What if Julian's gaze had reflected that same wicked malice? But he was just as nefarious as the rest of them, wasn't he? And as the thoughts came to her Jenny tried to push them back.
He had murdered Summer and that boy, Gordie Wilson. The only reason Jenny was even here now was because he had taken Tom and Zach hostage. Because of Julian the other Shadow Men had almost succeeded in drowning her. Because she had rightfully won her freedom he had forced her into another game.
What if she won this one too? Would he bully her into playing another one? On and on, one game after another, until either he won or Jenny finally gave up to spare her friends?
Yes, he was evil. Maybe not in the same way as the other Shadow Men, but he was still evil, nonetheless.
But what did it mean when a creature like that denied his very nature to love someone? If Julian could overcome the cruelty and darkness of what he was to seek out light and affection then could he change even more? Could he—
Jenny stopped herself right there. She didn't want to be thinking this way, not about Julian.
But they were still kissing, a kiss she had started. And she found that her body molded so perfectly against his it frightened her even more.
With effort Jenny pulled back. "I don't want to do this."
Julian studied her with a guarded expression. "Do what?"
She felt tears and didn't bother holding them back this time. "Hate you? Care about you? I don't know. I just don’t want to do this anymore.”
He hugged her tighter and Jenny trembled. Tears slipped down her face, dampening his shoulder. She thought it might have been the tears, but Jenny felt something in Julian let go. He didn't relax, not really, but she felt the strain leave his body, almost as if surrendering.
In a breath against her ear, he confessed, "I‘ve been feeling so tired lately. Of all of this."
Jenny shook even more. She wanted him, though she knew she shouldn't.
"Julian." It was almost a plea, but Jenny didn't know what it was she was pleading for.
Protectively, Julian scooped her up into his arms and she let him do it without resistance. He took her back to the nest of white furs and knelt down, tenderly laying her back onto them. She let him do this too. For the life of her, Jenny couldn't bring herself to fight with him, wasn't sure she even wanted to. She looked at him through watery eyes and she could tell that what he'd said was true: he really didn't want to fight anymore. They were both tired of it all.
She wasn't sure who initiated the next kiss, but it was different from any other kiss they had previously shared. It wasn't just slow and passionate, it was emotional. Innocent, yet sensual. Julian kissed her without ego, without avarice or anything to prove. There were no secrets, no challenges. For the first time his lips moved over hers with nothing but love, and Jenny felt herself surrender completely to it.
For the first and only time in her life, she could admit, at least to herself, that she did love Julian. Maybe even as much as she loved Tom.
Tom.
Jenny felt new, hot tears swell to the surface. She jerked away from the Shadow Man. Her hand shot to her mouth to muffle a sob.
She couldn't do this. It was wrong. The things she was feeling, the thoughts racing through her mind, they were all wrong.
Cool fingers touched her chin and turned her face back towards the Shadow Man.
"Jenny," Julian murmured, affectionate and understanding. His voice was warm velvet against her skin and his eyes gleamed with otherworldly sparks of light. Jenny had never seen him look more stunning. It was with a compassion Jenny had never felt from him before that Julian bent his head and kissed away each tear.
She didn't stop him when his hands moved under the hem of her shirt and caressed the skin of her belly. And when those hands pulled at the fabric, she paused only long enough to aid Julian in relieving her of the blouse. They were kissing again—so tender, so adoring—and that was all she wanted to think about. For once Julian wasn’t being a hunting predator or some twisted stalker from the darkness. He was touching her as tenderly as only a lover could.
She lightly tugged at the front of his vest and Julian peeled it off for her so her fingers could skim over the hard lines of his chest. Slowly, one garment at a time, they shed one another of their clothing, until they laid next to each other, naked and vulnerable.
The firelight flickered over their skin and at first they only looked at each other. As her eyes trailed over the dark being next to her, Jenny felt a little embarrassed. Julian was so beautiful and perfect and she was...well, only human. However, it was difficult for Jenny to remain so self-conscious as the twilight of Julian's gaze moved over her with such adoration and love. The physical ache she had for him was more noticeable now. She needed him to touch her. As if hearing her thoughts, Julian raised a hand to brush through her hair. But it wasn't enough.
Jenny couldn't stop herself as her arms wrapped around his neck and pulled him closer. They kissed, and they were still kissing as Julian shifted to lay over her, between her parted legs.
He entered her as tenderly as possible, slowly rotating his hips. Jenny's nails dug into his biceps as he pushed into her. The wetness of her arousal eased his passage and helped to lessen the sting. Still, he continued to show restraint, trying his hardest not to hurt her. Jenny felt a sweet tightening in her chest at the concept.
How odd it must have been for him, a monster of shadows, to go out of his way to not be vicious—but just then Julian was being the furthest thing from a monster.
It took him several such leisurely and careful strokes before he was finally buried to the hilt inside her. Jenny hugged him with her legs, encouraging him.
Their eyes locked, green cypress forests under blue November skies, and Jenny knew this meant something. Something both wonderful and scary. It shouldn't have felt as good as it did, but as their bodies moved together it also felt right.
In that moment of physical and emotional unity they seemed to understand each other. For once, they knew where the other was coming from. Julian was a creature of the dark, a being yearning for something so simple, yet so powerful as human love. Jenny could have given that to him, but because of who they were, because of the betrayal and pain which had already transpired between them, both already knew that would never happen. They could never be together. Not like this. Not ever again. The games would continue. On and on, until one of them finally gave in. Or until one of them—
Jenny ended the thought right there. She didn't want to think of something so horrible. Not when everything else was already looking so bleak. She only wanted to focus on the sensations coursing through her. The feel of his skin against hers. The pumping of his pulse under her fingertips. The way they moved together. This connection between them was wonderful, yet broken. And she could tell Julian knew it too.
Their next kiss was deep and desperate, an act of sadness and loss. Perhaps in another life her love for him would have mattered, and his would have been less cruel.
They gripped each other tighter in the stillness of the cavern as they made love. The glow of the fire danced over their forms and, for an instant, their skin burned gold.
Time was the enemy.
Soon the unspoken truce they shared would end, and then they would have to return to The Game. But for now, the two ignored the world around them and tried to make the moment last for as long as they could.
~ End ~
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Some quotes and lines taken from L. J. Smith's The Hunter, chapter 7, pg 90-98.*
(*I have the original 1994 printing of the book so page numbers may differ in later printings)
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