Affairs of the Heart

BY : CaptainParisStarr
Category: G through L > The Infernal Devices (Series) > The Infernal Devices (Series)
Dragon prints: 2092
Disclaimer: I do not own the Infernal Devices franchise, any characters mentioned in this story, or make money, profit, or earn a living off the story.

“Will! Over here!” Jem called as he chased the demon down a narrow alleyway, the chill early evening air making his breath mist slightly. It was a Ravener demon, the last of a hoard sent to terrorize a group of the Moon Children into submitting to a Warlock who wished to command the pack.

Jem saw a streak of black, as Will passed him, and he slowed slightly to conserve his remaining energy. When he caught up again, Will was already engaged in combat with the demon, and Jem went to help when something caught his eye.

A dark haired mundane boy, about his own age, was leaning against a wall... No, not leaning; cowering. Why would he- Suddenly, Jem realized he could see the demon!

Leaving the demon to Will, he ran over to the boy. “Come with me.” He held out his hand, just as Will cried out in victory.

“Jem, did you see that...? Jem?” Will sounded closer now, and curious.

“Will, he could see the demon.” Jem replied, ignoring the question and pointing to the boy, not bothering to turn and look at Will. Something about this new boy had him captivated.

“Demon? Is that what that... Thing was? A demon?” The boy asked, clearly terrified.

The two Shadowhunters looked at each other, then. “We should bring him back to the Institute.”

“Tomorrow, I think he's had enough for tonight.” They reached an understanding.

“I'm heading back, you see he gets home safely.”

Jem nodded, turning back to the mundane. “I'm James Carstairs, but you can call me Jem. My friend here is William Herondale.”

“I'm Colin. Colin Forrester.”

“Do you live around here?”

“Yes, just over here, Mr. Carstairs.” He replied, shying away from using Jem's given name.

Jem decided to ignore the formality, and asked instead if he'd ever seen anything like the demon before.

“Like that one specifically? No. But I have seen other things... Human's changing into wolves, small winged men and women, a woman once who looked normal except for her blue skin, and a man with horns.”

“So, you can see Downworld.”


“Those beings you've described are not demons, who come from other realms, but creatures who come from ours. Werewolves, Faeries, and Warlocks, three of the four groups that together form the beings of Downworld. Downworlders, we call them.”

“Whats the fourth group?”

“Vampires.” Jem answered, with no hint of humour. Colin shuddered.

“Are you a demon hunter?”

“You could say that.” Jem was cautious not to say too much about the Shadowhunters until Charlotte could talk to Colin.

“I live right here. Do you want to come inside?”

Something in Colin's tone made Jem turn towards him. “I should be going...” Jem turned to leave again.

“How old are you?” Colin suddenly asked, making him turn back once more.

“I'm almost sixteen, why do you ask?”

“So, you are younger than me. I am sixteen already.” Colin stepped closer to Jem. “You're beautiful.”

Jem swallowed, but made no attempt to pull away. “Colin... Were both male. This is wrong...”

“Is it?” Colin asked, a moment before his lips touched Jem's. Despite what he'd said, being kissed by another man did not feel wrong to him and he found himself kissing Colin back.

A sudden sound caused them to break apart, panting. “I need to go...” Jem muttered, desperate to leave before someone saw them.

“I'll see you tomorrow then?” Colin asked, hopefully, as he mounted the steps to the door of the building he lived in.

“Yes, tomorrow.” Jem watching Colin enter the building and close the door behind him.

“Well, this is interesting.” Jem froze at the familiarity of the voice. Turning, his fears were confirmed as he saw Will lean against the wall a few feet away.

“Did you... see that?”

“If by 'that' you mean, 'did I see you kissing that boy?' the answer is yes.” Will pushed away from the wall, his expression softening in that way that was exclusive to when he was alone with Jem. “I'm not going to tell anyone, though. It's your business who you kiss, and I'll respect that.”

“Will...” Jem was shocked. He'd expected Will to freak, to say he was wrong to be kissing boys, but instead his parabatai was trying to understand, or just did not care. It was hard to tell with Will when he truly did not care, and when he was just pretending. But Will usually did not pretend around Jem. “You don't care that I was kissing a boy? And a boy I just met, at that.”

“No, I don't. I decided to follow you, and see what would happen when you were seemingly alone with him. I saw how you were looking at him, and he at you.” Will shook his head. “We cannot tell the clave about him.”

“Will, we have to! He's a mundane, but he has the Sight...”

“And romantic feelings for you! You think that won't be revealed when he's interviewed? You're the one who found him, you'll be part of the interview.”

Jem realized Will was right. If they told the others about Colin, it would come out that he was kissing him.

“Then what do we do with him?”

Will smirked, and Jem realized that he'd said the wrong thing. “I won't be doing anything with him. You can do what you like... Maybe you can sodomize him.”

“Will! Don't say that! Sodomy is a sin...”

“To the Catholics, which we are not. I know your father was a converted Catholic, and you were raised to be aware of those beliefs, but you were not baptized, were you?” Jem shook his head. “So sodomy is not a sin to you.” Will turned, and headed back the way they'd came.

“Jem... Just be careful, alright?” Will touched his friends arm gently as they walked.

“I will be as careful as I can be.”

“We simply say nothing when we return about that boy... What did he say his name was, again?”

“Colin... it's Colin.”

“We say nothing about Colin, to anyone. That way they cannot find out you have a male lover.”

“Lover?” The word made Jem's pale cheeks flush noticeably. “I barely know him...”

“Yet were kissing him passionately, and wanted more, didn't you?”

Jem said nothing, lost in thought, and the rest of the walk back to the Institute was spent in silence.


That night, Jem couldn't sleep. He'd made noises about being tired from fighting the demons, and gone to bed early, but he couldn't get his mind to settle down. Every time he closed his eyes, he saw Colin's face, the way he'd looked after they'd broken the kiss, and Jem's body would feel hot with arousal.

At one point, he'd gotten up and fetched his violin, to lull his mind with music, but he couldn't focus enough to play. He'd sat for almost a full half hour just holding the violin before putting it away again, not having played a single note.

Now it was close to midnight, and sleep was still eluding him. He didn't understand why another boy was having such an effect on him, and women never had. He was fifteen, and never had a woman catch his eye. Was he simply meant to like boys; men; instead?

Giving into his arousal, he let one hand slip under the night clothes he was wearing, and wrap around his own swollen flesh, stroking gently. He'd been hesitant to jack off because Will often visited him at night, and he did not wish to be caught masturbating. However, he was now past the point of caring, as he gave into the pleasure that his hand was producing.

Just then, he had a thought. He'd always assumed that Will's nocturnal visits were innocent, just him wanting to make sure his ill friend was okay for the night. But now, for the first time, an alternate explanation presented itself; was Will attracted to him? Was that why he visited at night, in the hopes of being invited into Jem's bed?

Jem shook the thought from his head; Will was straight- even if he was lying about fucking whores when he was out at night, he was still undeniably straight. There had been countless times when they had been out together during the day, for whatever reason, and Jem noticed Will being momentarily distracted by a pretty girl or woman, never by another man. And anyway, even if Will did want him, he'd never say anything since it was completely illegal for parabatai to have a romantic relationship, or even feelings for one another.

Just because Will could accept that Jem liked boys, didn't mean he liked boys himself. It was crazy of Jem to think that Will liked him... and yet the thought would not leave his mind.

All the while his hand was gliding over his most intimate part, bringing him closer to the edge with each stroke, and he was starting to get close.

At that moment, his bedroom door banged open, and Will burst into the room, panting. “Jem, I-” He caught sight of his friend, and a rare blush crept up his face as Jem quickly released his cock and pulled the sheets up to cover himself.

For a long moment, they just stared at each other in awkward silence, neither knowing what to say.

“What is it, Will?” Jem eventually asked, to break the silence, hoping Will could not see that he was still aroused, and that his erection was not abating.

“I ran into that boy, Colin, again. He asked me to give you this.” He offered Jem a folded piece of paper. Then he turned to leave.

“Will, wait.” There was so much he wanted to ask Will, but did not quite dare to, that he settled for asking simply; “Why is it so easy for you to accept that I like guys instead of girls?”

Will half turned, his cheeks still slightly pink, to answer Jem's question. “Because I already knew, before today I mean. I've suspected this for a long time now, and I've seen your gaze linger slightly too long on some men, including Gabriel Lightwood; which proves only that you have questionable taste in men.”

Jem's eyes widened- he hadn't been aware of staring at guys before. “I have not let my gaze linger on any Lightwood.” He protested mildly.

Turning fully, Will examined his friend's expression. “You didn't realize that you were staring a bit at times, did you?” Jem shook his head. “That explains why you were freaking a bit over kissing Colin. You didn't know that you're gay until then.” Will took half a step towards Jem- and the bed- then shook his head and turned to leave again.

“Try to get some sleep. Resist the temptation to fantasize about him all night!” Will teased as he reached the door.

“Will!” Jem grabbed a pillow, but Will left and had the door closed behind him before Jem could toss it at him.

Settling himself back down, Jem realized he had lost all interest in masturbating sometime during the conversation with Will, and his mind was filled with what Will had said. Was it really that obvious that he was gay, or was it only obvious to Will? Unfortunately, he had no way of knowing. He eventually fell asleep with that thought running in circles around his mind, and the note from Colin still unread, lying on the table where he had placed it.


Jem was feeling his late night the next morning as he went down for breakfast. Knowing he looked pale, he braced himself for questioning, but none came. Charlotte sent him a quizzical look, but that was all.

The other Shadowhunters talked about the hunt that he had been on with Will the previous evening. Will filled in the details, only omitting Colin, for which Jem was grateful. Jem simply listened, too tired to join the conversation, and he got up to leave again as soon as it was polite to.

He was halfway back to his room when Will caught up to him. “We need to talk.”

Jem turned to look at Will. “About what?”

“What I did not mention at breakfast.” Will answered vaguely.

Nodding, Jem pushed his remaining confusion aside, and continued walking towards his bedroom. Once inside, Will closed the door firmly behind them. “Did you read the note yet?”

“No. Hang on.” Jem sat down on the edge of his bed, with Will beside him but far enough away that Jem could read in relative privacy, and grabbed the note. It contained a time and location for a meeting later that day, in the early evening.

“Are you going to go?” Will asked, once he was certain that Jem was done reading.

“I don't know. I want to, but...” He trailed off.

“You're worried what the others will think?”

“A little, yeah. I don't know how long I can keep this a secret.”

“We.” Will corrected, causing Jem to shoot his friend a confused look. “I already know about Colin, remember? So it's both of us keeping the secret... Which means I can cover for you.”

Jem suddenly understood what Will was saying. “You mean, you'd lie about this for me?”

“Yes, I would. The others won't understand, and you need this.” He gasped in surprise as his friend suddenly hugged him tightly. “Hey, not so tight! Or else Colin might get jealous.” Jem froze, and pulled back. “But there's nothing like that going on between us...”

“True, and we know that. He does not know our laws, or that if there was something between us, that it would be illegal. And I doubt he'd care even if he did know.”

Jem considered that, then nodded. “True. I guess hugging you that tight does look suspicious from an outside view point.”

“It does.” Will's cheeks pinked inexplicably, and he changed the subject. “Anyway, you want to see him again, right?”

Jem nodded. “More than anything. I've never felt this way before about anyone, and it scares me a bit that it's a guy whose making me feel like this now. But yes, I want... No, I need to see him again.”

Will studied his friend for a long moment. “Jem, can I ask you something personal?”

Jem was surprised, usually Will asked him anything without worrying about how personal the question was. “Yes. You know that you can ask me anything.”

“Are you still a virgin?”

Jem blushed. “Yes, I am.”

Will nodded. “I thought so. How far are you planning on letting Colin go with you?”

“What do you mean... Wait are you asking me if I want to have sex with him?”

Will shook his head. “No. I already know that you do. My question is, if he asks you for sex, will you say yes? Or will you hold back?”

Jem was quiet for a long moment, so long that Will though he was not going to answer him. “Jem...”

“Yes.” The word was whispered.


“Yes, if he asks, I will likely let him... Well, you know. You were joking about it last night.”

Will nodded. “Even if he asks today?”

Jem started. “He wouldn't! Would he?”

“I don't know, you know him better than I do.”

Jem was about to protest that Colin would not ask him for sex so soon, when he remembered the kiss they had shared the night before. Blushing again, he whispered, “I don't know either. If he asks me today... I don't know if I'd resist him.”

“Jem! If you do meet him, go knowing how far you want to go. If your ready to go all the way with him, no holding back, then I won't interfere. But if you're not, and he tries to push you... I will be intervening anyway I possibly can. I don't want to see you get hurt.”

Jem nodded. “Will, thanks but that won't be necessary. I want him.” He said simply.

“You sure?” Jem nodded. “I'll go with you. Not all the way to the meeting point.” He quickly amended when Jem raised an eyebrow. “Just far enough to convince the others that we're out patrolling. Then we can split up, and you can meet him privately. Deal?”

“Deal.” Will got up to go. “Try to nap for a bit. I'll wake you up an hour before the meeting time.” Will left the room, closing the door firmly behind him. Jem slid under the covers in his shirtsleeves, and was soon fast asleep.

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