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Normality	By : AlphaOmegaPsi Category: Twilight Series > AU/AR > Slash Views: 2984 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or make any money from this story.

Chapter List
- 8
- 9
- 10
AN: I rewrote this chapter because it sucked balls! Barlie was getting completely out of character, so I took him back to his hard-headed, idiotic, clueless self. I was having a lot of trouble writing chapter 10 because of him being so out of character, so I think this is a better alternative.

Thank you to NoMoreDrama, mls1971, Guy_in_the_Closet, and of course Raisden_Captivity for reviewing. I hope you enjoy the new chapter!

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I managed to avoid talking to Ethan for a while, which wasn't difficult because he never came over. Lizzie had started going over to his house, which was good for me, if not a bit lonely.

After not sleeping the whole week, I spent the entire weekend in slumber land, with maybe a few breaks to eat and go to the bathroom. It was a pretty good deal, actually getting permission to sleep part of my life away. Mom even let me stay home on Monday, which I wasn't complaining about. I spent the day eating, watching TV, and sleeping some more. By the time Tuesday rolled around, I was well-rested.

By that time, I had also come to the decision that what had happened when I came home on Friday was just another weird dream. I didn't know just how much of it was a dream, but the kiss definitely was. And probably the confession too, though the only way to confirm that would be to ask Ethan about it and that was not going to happen. Mom assured me that Ethan had been over, though, so I knew at least that had happened. I wondered if that was the reason he was avoiding me. Had I said something weird while in my sleep-deprived state?

Not that I was worried. After all, I still thought he was vampire scum. These dreams were nothing to worry about, either; Mrs. Mavis had already told me what they meant, and I wasn't going to worry about them anymore. The desire to get close to him was probably just because I wanted to expose him for what he really was. I would eventually, and we'd see who had the last laugh.

I felt a little guilty just letting Lizzie go over there, but since she always came back fine I didn't let it bother me. If he wanted to just suck her blood, he had plenty of opportunity to do so. He seemed to have some other plan in mind, and until he made another move all I could do was watch him. This was difficult without having any interaction, but since I asked Lizzie about him every time she came back I felt like I wasn't missing out on much. I was pretty good at reading reactions, and Lizzie seemed as normal as ever, so in that respect I probably had nothing to worry about.

Through the week, as I said before, I managed to avoid talking to him. While it wasn't exactly beneficial in the long run, it gave me some time to think about my next move. I had to get back in his good graces, but I didn't know what had happened when he came over on Friday. I asked Lizzie, but she said he hadn't told her a thing. It was frustrating, but it only confirmed what I already knew to be true: I had to try and trick him into telling me himself.

Vampires were clever, but as far as I knew he was still afraid of me. If I could find a way to use that to my advantage, I could make him tell me without ever revealing that I didn't know. I would have to, since if he knew I couldn't remember he would probably use that as an advantage to try and trick me. I would have to tread carefully on this plan, so I'd have to wait for the absolutely opportune moment.

Unfortunately, fate had other plans.

"Ethan wants you to come over today," Lizzie said, sitting down across from me with her lunch tray. I paused with my bologna sandwich halfway to my mouth.

"Why?" I asked, suspicious at the sudden invitation and the definite "you," instead of "us."

Lizzie shrugged. "He said he wanted to talk to you about something and it was best to get it over with before he lost his nerve. He wouldn't say anything else."

I felt my blood run a little cold at those words. Did he finally realize I was a threat? Was he going to finish me off for good? If that were true, he could just follow me and catch me unawares in some dark alley. That might be less suspicious. Then again, maybe it was less suspicious to invite me over and then just act innocent when I didn't come back home. Nobody would suspect that he was guilty of the crime, not even Lizzie. Even if they found my blood-drained corpse somewhere in a ditch just outside of town, suspicion would never turn to the shy new kid. Nobody would know, and then the whole town would be vulnerable to his bloodlust.

"Are you okay?" Lizzie asked when she noticed me practically hyperventilating over my thoughts.

"Yeah," I lied, trying to calm myself down by shoving bologna in my mouth. It didn't help; it might as well have been cement for all I could taste of it, and its only purpose seemed to be almost choking me to death. When I managed to swallow it in a painful lump, I realized that I probably should have just let it kill me. It probably would be a more pleasant death than whatever Ethan had planned.

"So, are you going to go?" Lizzie asked, unaware of my internal torment.

I thought about it for a second. On the one hand, there was a fairly high chance of me dying a horrible and unfortunate death. On the other, if I didn't go, he would probably come to kill me in my sleep anyway. And if this wasn't some horrible plot to end my life, which was a slim chance but a chance nonetheless, I could try out my plan to find out just what happened Friday. Either way, not going wasn't really an option, and if I was going to meet my doom I figured it was best to meet it head-on anyway.

"Yeah, I'll go," I said, a bit reluctant despite my decision. Even if I didn't exactly have the best life, I liked living it, and I wasn't in any hurry to stop. "Can you do me a favor and tell Dad where I am?"

"Okay, but why?" Lizzie asked suspiciously.

"We had plans for tonight," I said, even though that was a huge lie. I really just wanted him to know where I was if something happened to me. I knew he wasn't stupid; he'd figure it out and keep the town safe. I regretted not telling him about Ethan sooner, but that was my own fault and I had to accept the consequences of keeping my mouth shut.

"So, where does he live, anyway?" I asked, upon realizing I had never once visited.

"I gave you the address a couple weeks ago," Lizzie reminded me. "Don't tell me you lost it already."

I felt in my back pocket and triumphantly pulled out a crumpled bit of paper. "Looks like not," I said, unfolding it just to make sure. It was definitely an address.

"Don't get lost," Lizzie teased. I stuck out my tongue.

"I have a great sense of direction," I said smugly. "You're the one who doesn't even know the names of the streets."

"You are so full of it!" Lizzie cried, chucking a fry at me. I caught it in midair I chewed it up, grinning. It felt good to joke around like this after how serious things had been last week. I had missed my sister a lot more than I thought I would. Even when she was teasing or making fun of me, I considered her my best friend, and I liked to think she felt the same way.

I wondered if she would miss me after Ethan killed me, even if she'd never believe it was Ethan who did it. That thought lasted a split second before I concluded that yes, she would. Not just because she was my sister, but because she genuinely cared about me. Not to mention, she wouldn't have anybody to mess with if I was gone.

My mom would probably miss me too, but she still had Lizzie. Dad might miss me, but I imagined he would be too busy getting rid of Ethan to really mourn too much. Besides, he had the wolves, and they would help him through it. I wasn't worried about him too much.

Everyone else would probably find it a relief that I was gone. No more walking on eggshells around me, no more worrying about broken property or personal safety, no more taking pity on my family for being cursed with me as a son. It might not be such a bad thing for me to be gone, actually. Mom wouldn't have so many bills for all the things I broke, and she wouldn't have to worry about apologizing to everyone about my fits. Nobody would whisper about her in the grocery store. Dad would be taken out of the spotlight for child abuse, since he would never hurt Lizzie in any way. They would have a reason for stopping those almost pointless therapy sessions.

It was kind of depressing, listing all the ways my family would be better off without me, but it made the idea of dying a little less scary. I still hung around the school much long than I normally would on a Wednesday afternoon, asking about grades that I didn't care about, buying things from vending machines that I didn't feel like eating, and checking out clubs that probably didn't want me there. In the end, I had nothing left to stall with, and I decided to just get the whole thing over with.

I didn't know what I expected when I eventually found Ethan's house, but it seemed shockingly normal to me. It was a bright, cheery yellow, with white shutters and a white door. It was two stories tall with a large oak tree growing right next to it. There was even a white picket fence, to my surprise, and the yard was so impeccably green and neat around the small stone path leading to the door that stepping on it seemed like a federal crime. Where did they buy this house from? The American Dream catalogue?

I walked up the stone path carefully, each step feeling more and more like the final walk of a prison inmate on death row. I considered turning to run more than once, but each time I kept going. Running was useless no matter what I was here for, and it would only serve to make me look cowardly in the face of my enemy. I couldn't turn back, no matter what.

I stood in front of the glaringly white door for a long time before I finally knocked, the three tones of knuckles against wood much less serious than I felt the situation called for. I wished for a big brass knocker to drive the creepy factor home, but unfortunately there was only a doorbell. When nobody answered the door after a few minutes, I pushed that and listened to the muffled chime through the door as I waited.

A wet and panting Ethan appeared in the doorway, a towel half-draped over his head and shoulder and damp clothes clinging to his skin.

"Sorry," he gasped, "I was taking a shower and didn't realize you were here already. Come in, come in." I was taken aback by his appearance, until I remembered that he had a weird habit of showering a lot. Still, the fact that he would act like that in front of me, the person he planned to kill, was almost disturbing. Maybe he didn't think it mattered how he acted, since I would be dead soon anyway. Maybe it was simply a ploy to get me to let my guard down.

I froze with one foot in the threshold, realizing that I could still run if I wanted to. I could find my father, tell him about Ethan, and be completely safe. I wondered how long it would take Ethan to catch me if I chose to do that. My chances seemed slim. With a sigh, I entered Ethan's home, and watched the door close menacingly behind me.

"Are you okay?" Ethan asked with a frown, grabbing the towel around his shoulders and scrubbing his hair vigorously.

I'm fine," I lied with a smile. He wouldn't be getting any fear from me. "So, what did you want me to come over for?"

To my surprise, Ethan looked embarrassed. His cheeks turned pink and he clutched the towel around his neck so tight that it stretched taut. "I just wanted to hang out with you," he mumbled so quietly I almost didn't hear him. "Is that okay?"

I didn't understand this behavior. Was he still trying to make me let my guard down? If he was going to kill me, why didn't he just get it over with? Unless he was going to draw this out, which I couldn't understand. Why not get rid of me now and save himself the trouble?

"Uh…yeah, I guess it's fine," I answered with a frown. I would definitely have to pay close attention to his behavior. Just what was his angle, anyway?

Ethan led me upstairs to his room, which was much more normal than I expected, though again I didn't know exactly what I was expecting. The walls were painted a nice shade of lime-green, completely bare of posters or pictures. A nice oak desk was squeezed into the far corner with what looked like a fairly new computer sitting atop it. Papers also littered the space not taken up by the keyboard and mouse pad, messily strewn about with nothing resembling order. A small dresser took up part of the left wall, a few pictures of people I assumed were friends displayed proudly on top. It sat next to an old-looking TV, and I wondered why he had a new computer if he couldn't even get a decent TV, but I didn't ask. Along the right wall was a twin bed covered in messy sheets and clothes, and at the very end on the far wall was a window. If I looked outside, I could see the oak tree I had seen on my way in.

"Sorry," Ethan said suddenly, pushing past me to pick up clothes and trash strewn about. "I meant to clean up but I forgot."

"It's fine," I said, taking a step into the room. "My room's just as messy as this." Though it had a much higher ceiling, I noted. I was somewhat tall, and the ceiling was maybe half a foot above my head. It slanted, too, so that the space above the bed was even shorter. What an odd configuration.

"So…what do you want to do?" Ethan asked after he shoved everything in the clothes hamper. I tried to hide my amusement behind my hand. He looked so earnest. I had to remind myself he was going to kill me.

"I don't care. Whatever." I tried to remain non-chalant. Whatever happened, I couldn't let Ethan know I was scared of him. No matter what, I would not go out as a coward.

Eventually, Ethan decided on video games. I told him he could play and I would watch, since I didn't really like video games. That wasn't exactly true, since I hadn't ever really played them. Our family couldn't afford to buy any gaming consoles. I had never felt a great need to play them, though, even when I saw other people playing them, so I didn't feel like I was missing out.

I settled down on the bed while Ethan leaned against the frame, my back up against the wall both figuratively and literally. If Ethan decided to move in for the kill, there wasn't a damn thing I could do about it. Opening the door or window would take precious seconds that would be ample time for him to catch me again. Pretending to go to the bathroom wouldn't fool him for a second once I tried to go down the stairs. Now I was completely trapped, and there was nothing I could do about it.

I still wondered about his behavior, though. Why would he go through the trouble of putting up a front when it was just us? It didn't make any sense. It wasn't possible that he was telling the truth, was it? Why would a bloodthirsty monster want to just "hang out" with me? Sure, I was pretending to be his friend, but…I didn't honestly think he was taking that very seriously. I wanted to ask him about it, but acknowledging this situation felt…dangerous, somehow, and I thought it was probably best just to keep on pretending I didn't know what was going on.

I sighed quietly to myself and let myself fall on my side. My face ended up half-buried in Ethan's pillow, and I smelled raspberries and clean laundry before I was able to right myself. It was a pretty good smell, and somehow it was calming. I breathed it in deeply as I watched the scenes flicker by on the screen.

"Are you bored?" Ethan asked, glancing over his shoulder. I shrugged with one shoulder.

"Not really." More like scared out of my mind.

"You don't look very excited to be here," he said. "If you don't want to hang out with me, you don't have to. You can leave if you want."

This day kept getting more and more confusing. Now I had an open invitation to leave? Was it a trap? That didn't make sense; I was already trapped, so why did I need to be trapped again? Regardless, I wasn't going to fall into any sort of plans Ethan had for me, so I just forced a smile on my face and said, "I'm having a great time."

I didn't know if he believe me or not, but he turned back to his video game without commenting. I was more on-edge than before, checking every little movement for anything that might give him away. I noticed that he kept losing his game, so that could possibly indicate that he was distracted. I didn't know how to use this to my advantage, since I didn't know what was distracting him. However, I was reminded of the questions I wanted to ask him about Friday night. I hadn't perfected my information extraction plan, but as long as I was careful and since I probably wouldn't get another chance, I decided it wouldn't hurt.

"So…Friday," I said slowly, trying to lead him into saying something about it. I kicked myself for such a bad opening, but at least I kept it vague. To my surprise, even the back of Ethan's neck became bright red, and he refused to look at me.

"I was hoping you wouldn't bring that up," he mumbled. My eyes widened as I wondered what could have caused such a reaction. I was more determined than ever to find out just what had happened.

I shrugged as non-chalantly as I could manage, trying to act as if it didn't matter to me even though it did. "I just thought we could talk about it," I said, trying to goad him into saying something, anything, that would give me a direction to go on.

"I thought you didn't want to talk about it," he said. "I thought that's why you were avoiding me."

"I wasn't avoiding you; I just didn't see you." It was sort of the truth, though I'd be lying if I said I really wanted to see him. I didn't need to tell him that, though. "Anyway, I want to talk about it now."

Ethan paused the game and turned around so that he was kneeling next to the bed. He hid part of his amazingly red face in his crossed arms and completely avoided eye contact, focusing his eyes somewhat on the foot of his bed.

"Okay," he sighed, his voice muffled through the shield of his arms. He took a few deep breaths. "I assumed a few things then," he admitted. "I know you weren't really yourself and I feel like I took advantage of that. After that day, I was over the moon, because I really like you, but then Lizzie told me everything that had been happening with you and I realized you couldn't really account for your behavior. I didn't think it was possible that you could really like me, so I decided to start over as friends so maybe we could move past it. I thought if you weren't interested, you probably wouldn't bring it up, so I decided just to leave it alone and never mention it again. I know it probably seemed weird, but when something happens to make me uncomfortable, I usually deal with it by pretending it doesn't exist. I'm sorry if that's not what you what, but if you don't like me could you please just play along?"

During Ethan's little speech, I decided to sit up, mostly because I didn't want to give him easy access to any part of me that he could bite while he was turned around. Now I was glad I did, but for an entirely different reason. I was frozen in shock at his words, and if I was going to be frozen I would rather be upright.

What was up with this sudden confession? Was it possible what I thought was a dream had been what really happened on Friday? Was I just denying everything, for the sake of my own sanity? So many questions reeled around my brain, but one stood out among the others: could I trust that what he told me was true?

In the end, I decided that no, I couldn't. I knew who he was…and most importantly, what he was. I couldn't trust that this wasn't all some clever ploy to confuse me. Freaking out, which was honestly my first instinct, would be playing right into whatever plan he had. Instead, I'd go along with this little game he was playing. Besides the fact that it would throw him off, I would also be able to spend more time with him and thus make sure he didn't do anything funny. If he was going through the trouble of putting up a façade, he probably wouldn't be breaking it anytime soon. It also meant that he most likely didn't want to kill me…at least, not yet.

"I didn't say I didn't like you," I said, trying my hardest not to make my voice waver and give me away. If I had to play this part to keep the people I loved safe, then so be it. If I had to pretend to like him, I would gladly do it, if only so he would focus on me and not the people in the town.

Ethan's head snapped up, his eyes wide and surprised. "R-really?" he stammered. I noticed his act was flawless; he didn't seem irked at all that I had completely turned his plan around.

I forced a large grin onto my face. "Yeah," I lied. "I want to go out with you." I wasn't very good at relationships, even fake ones, so I had to take all my knowledge from books and movies to try and figure out how I should act. I'd have to look into it further so I didn't give myself away.

"I'm so glad," Ethan sighed. To my surprise, he climbed onto the bed and I had to repress the urge to shrink away. Instead, I remained carefully relaxed with my legs loosely crossed, watching for what he would do next.

The next few moments were definitely strange. I expected him to do something weird, something I wasn't sure I was equipped to handle but I would try my damndest to endure. However, all he did was kiss me. It was different from my other memories of kissing him though; this one was almost tender, if such a thing could be used to describe a soulless monster. He pressed soft lips to mine over and over, never more than a centimeter separating us. Maybe I got too lost in my role, but it began to be enjoyable, and before I knew it I was kissing back. It hit me that this was my first real kiss that I was fully conscious for, and I wondered if it counted if I was faking it.

I chose to ignore the tight, warm feeling in my chest.
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Normality