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Happy New Heart	By : FatKidWithComputer Category: S through Z > Target Views: 1244 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Target, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 1-Happy New Heart
- 1
Dedicated to all those who have read Target by Kathleen Jeffrie Johnson, to the Christmas Holidays, to all slash-lovers, and to Voiceless009 for being the first to review my Fat Kid fic. *Sends love to all*
(())
Scribbling in his notebook, Jess didn’t notice Grady watching him. Grady was glad about that. If he noticed, he might ask why he was staring, and Grady couldn’t answer that. It wasn’t really all that complicated, just a little frightening. See, if he told Jess he wanted him, there would be problems. A lot of problems.
Grady could still remember that night. The night those men, Hawthorn and the others, had taken him against his will. Raped him. He could still feel it. The slaps, the punches, then the feeling of being taken, being penetrated. Pain, pain, pain, and nothing to stop them. He was scared, feeling this way meant there would be more of that pain, didn’t it?
Jess was writing in his notebook, as was his custom. His dreads were falling into his eyes. Grady felt like crying. Jess was a goddamned dream, and far too perfect for him. That’s why Jess had such an eversion to homosexuality. Grady knew this. Everyone knew this. Jess was the biggest homophobe in school. He’d beat the shit out of Fred that one day, and probably wanted to do it again. Grady didn’t have any right to want him the way he did.
Jess looked his way, and offered him a grin. Grady smiled back.
“Okay, Bean, am I goin’ to your place, or what?”
Grady nodded, and stood from the stiff, plastic library chair. Charlie was with friends, and Jess had invited himself over Grady’s house for New Years Eve. Why Jess didn’t want to be with Darla, Grady couldn’t fathom. But he thanked whoever happened to be up there watching for the unexpected gift.
They walked out of the library in silence. Grady ran a finger up and down his jacket’s zipper, cold, hard, solid. Jess watched his finger move, a funny look on his face. Finally, this skinny boy reached over and took his hand away. Grady lost himself in the feeling of Jess’ warm, soft, chocolate skin. It was a feeling that rushed through his body. Blood warming in his veins.
“Hey, Bean, why do you do that all the time?” His inquisitive eyes were searching his face, as if he thought he might find a clue there. Grady just shrugged, as his ability to speak was temporarily disabled.
“You’re a real study in psychology, Grade, you know that?” He sighed, letting go of Grady’s hand to wrap his arms around himself, warding off chill. “A regular case-study. You know what I think, Bean? I think it’s so you got somethin’ there to keep you on earth. Am I right, Grade? I think I am.”
Grady felt a loss of warmth the second Jess let go, and shoved his hand into his pocket. Maybe he was right, he didn’t know. Jess already thought he was strange. This whole thing didn’t matter, not really. Jess was far away from his grasp, and Grady knew he didn’t deserve him.
He’d heard over and over again, at those meetings, that he wasn’t weak. But when Jess was near him, he almost felt too weak to stand.
(())
Jess was going into a slow burn. This happened every time he thought about Grady, and what happened to him that night. The night, way before he knew him, when Grady had been taken against his will. Raped in the back of a van, on the way home from the fucking movies. In his coat pocket, his hand curled into a fist. If he ever found that Hawthorn guy, the bastard would feel torture. Taste pain. Jess would make sure of it.
Nobody deserved what Grady had been through. Especially not Grady. Grady’s a good guy. Nobody could say otherwise. A good guy, with mysterious eyes and a hot bod. Not that Jess had noticed. He wasn’t the one staring. Maybe Pearl was, but he most definitely wasn’t.
He ran a hand through his dreads and looked down the street to see if Grady’s house was anywhere nearby. Why they had decided to walk was beyond Jess. But, it was New Years Eve, and the stars were shining, and it felt good to be alive. And good to be walking home with Bean, and good to have just held his hand for a split-second. It was one of those times Jess knew something was going to happen. And he’d be up writing about it all night.
Finally, they spotted Grady’s house. As they quickened their pace, anxious to get out of the cold, Jess saw Grady stall out of the corner of his eye. He turned, just in time to see a van pass them, and knew exactly what was going on. Grade was having flashbacks of the worst possible kind. He had to snap him out of it.
“Yo, Bean, C’mon, hurry up! I’m freezin’ my ass off over here.” He put a hand on Grady’s shoulder, and the shaking subsided. Feeling a little worried (in the most platonic way, he was sure), Jess led Grady to the door of his house in silence.
They were greeted at the door by Mrs. West, who informed them it was almost nine. Jess and Grady went straight to the kitchen, feeling hungry, as they’d skipped dinner. Grady made himself a sandwich, and Jess had some left-over pizza. Of course, Jess talked with his mouth full.
“So, Grade, listen. I was wondering if, you know, me and Darla and you and Pearl wanted to go on a double-date. I mean, personally, I’m blaming the whole idea on Darla. She wants to see you out of the house or some shit like that.” Jess babbled, though it really had been his idea. If Bean was going out with Pearl, he wanted to watch. It was sure to be incredibly funny.
Grady only took a bite out of his sandwich and nodded.
They watched some TV until eleven, then Jess decided he needed to put his overnight-bag in Grady’s room. Grady followed. Setting his bag down by Grady’s bed, he turned to look at him. Skinny, tall, very stoner-chic. But what else is new? Grady had looked that way since they’d met. It wasn’t as though he found him attractive. He Didn’t. He... just... he just liked looking at him, is all. He was nice to look at. Jess shook the thoughts away, and walked over to Bean’s stereo. He opened the cd slot, only to find a cd of bluegrass music. Jesus, why’d he always have to listen to that shit?
Grady flopped down on his bed, stretching in the luxury of the moment. His dark green sweater rode up a little, revealing a small expanse of milky white skin. Jess’ eyes were drawn to that spot. He knew the skin under that sweater was probably warm and pale and delicious, not that he was thinking about it or anything. It wasn’t as though he’d thought about what it would be like to run his tongue over that pale, creamy skin. Though it would probably be a little salty, if Bean was sweating. And his lips would probably be soft and smooth, or maybe a little chapped from the cold. And, if he moaned, it would probably make Jess want to-
He turned away from Grady and his milky-white skin.
Even though he most definitely wasn’t thinking about it.
(())
Grady watched Jess move around the room. Obviously, he was agitated about something. He kept running his fingers through his hair, brushing the dark dreadlocks away from his eyes to no avail. Sitting up, he pulled down his shirt and moved his legs, making room for him.
“Jess? You wanna sit?”
Jess looked at him, a little surprised. He was probably still a little unused to Grady speaking. “Uh, sure, Bean.” he stuttered.
The bed creaked under Jess’ added weight. Jess didn’t seem to care, he was too absorbed in his thoughts. There was something bugging him, and Grady was a little curious. He wanted to help Jess with whatever it was. After all, Jess had stuck with him through everything he could. Hadn’t once intentionally hurt him. In fact, more often than not, Jess protected him. Made him feel safe.
Hell, he needed that. He really did.
They both turned as the sound of a door slamming cut the silence. Grady’s parents were leaving for a New Years party at his aunt’s house, and probably wouldn’t be back until early the next day. Really, they were just trying to make a big show out of trusting Grady with the house alone. Grady wasn’t exactly sure he could handle it alone with Jess.
Jess was suddenly very active.
“So, Grade, what’s on the tube? Don’t feel like watchin’ some huge crowd of happy white folk stare at a glittery ball. Don’t feel like watchin’ some suicidal fuckhead and some balding guy walk around the world to find out what happens if the guy lives, either. And I really don’t feel like walking around with all the half-assed drunks headed out somewhere in fast cars. What you feel like doin’, Bean? I don’t know what I feel like doin’.”
Grady listened to his friend babble, watched him twirl a dread between his fingers, felt his agitation. Jess was nervous about something, he had no clue what. By now, Jess was pacing. It was almost comical. Almost. It would’ve been a lot funnier if Grady wasn’t worried.
“Jess, you okay?” He questioned, worriedly.
“Yeah, I’m cool. I’m good. Yeah. You?” Jess was suddenly focusing on him.
“Fine.” Grady answered.
Even though he wasn’t. Even though there was something there that made Grady too attracted to Jess to bare. The boy was something he didn’t deserve, yet that did not suppress his feeling. He wanted Jess, wanted him against him. To feel that skin, Jesus, that warm, smooth, chocolate skin, against his own. To feel those lips, soft and slick, as Jess was always licking them, pressed here, there, everywhere. To feel that hair, those damn sexy dreads, running through his fingers as Jess and he...
FUCK.
Grady was hard.
Rock Hard.
(())
He was alone with Bean. No big deal.
Yes big deal.
No big deal.
Pacing like a tiger in an incredibly small cage, Jess was weighing his options. Or at least, one part of his brain was. The other part was trying to convince him there was no problem in the first place.
Grady was shifting his position on the bed, laying on his stomach. Damn tempting, too. Ass in the air, hair in his eyes, little bit of skin to be seen. His shirt was riding up his back. Damn tempting. For a gay guy. But Jess was straight. Most definitely straight. Undoubtedly, definitely, totally-
“Fuck. Screw it.” Were the only words muttered, as Jess launched himself at Grady.
He jumped onto the bed, landing on his knees beside him. Then, before Grady could move away, he pulled him up by the damn sweater and kissed him. Hard.
Jesus, he didn’t think it would feel this good. He’d just wanted to get it out of his system. But this... this was fucking electric. Lips pressed together at bruising force, then biting his bottom lip lightly so they’d open. Grady gasped, and there it was. Their tongues moving against one another like a competition. Fuck, Jess had never felt anything like this. It was amazing. Like... God, he couldn’t think of a ‘like what’. It was just... perfection.
Finally pulling away, for the sake of air, he immediately realized what he’d just done. He’d just kissed the raped kid. Without asking, warning, or anything.
“Grady, listen, I’m sorry, I just had to get it out of-”
He was silenced by the look in Grady’s eyes.
“It’s okay, Jess. I wanted that, too. And...” he everted his eyes. “And more, but if that was all you wanted...”
Right there, in front of him, was Grady. Grade. Bean-Pole. Telling him he wanted him. Suddenly, it all came into perspective. He’d just kissed Grady. Grady had just kissed back. It had been perfect, amazing, breath-taking, several other sensational adjectives as well. And if Jess was honest with himself, which he was when he wasn’t feeling stubborn, he wanted Grady. In all kinds of ways that would be even more amazing than that kiss, he was sure.
“Fuck, Bean,... why-”
“I don’t deserve you like that.” Grady was running his fingers over the comforter on his bed, not looking at him.
Jess’ mind was reeling. Didn’t deserve him? Didn’t deserve him?! What the hell was Bean talking about?! He had to be fucking with him. Grade was perfect. Good-looking, sensitive, good kisser, plus Jess had yet to find a better friend. He was Grady. He listened, and never once complained he talked too much. Hell, he was more important to him than anybody.
More important to him than... anybody...
There it was, right in his face. He cared about Grady more than anyone. He liked kissing him. He even found him attractive. He liked being with him, talking to him.
He liked him.
Maybe even...
No, he was... in love with him.
“Grade...” He was barely able to say the name.
“It’s okay...” Grady muttered. “You can go if you want. I’m just glad you-”
Jess cut him off with another, even more searing kiss. He wasn’t going to let Grady kick him out now. Not after that. Not after finally seeing. He felt like he’d been blind since he’d met him. Now he was finally seeing everything. And it was perfect. All of it. Perfect.
Grady responded this time, his tongue slipping out to move across his lips. Jess opened them, spiking his tongue into Grady’s mouth the second he did. His grip on Grady’s sweater tightened, and he pulled him closer. Grady’s hands were around his waist, his fingers running up his spine. Jess shivered. He pulled him even closer. God, he couldn’t believe it all. It was so surreal.
He broke the kiss to feel Grady slide his sweatshirt over his head. The chilly air, coupled with Grady’s warm fingers, wracked his body with shivers. He leaned over, his tongue darting out to lick Grady’s earlobe. He felt Grady take a shaky breath.
“Don’t ever think that, Bean. That’s shit.”
He heard a faint chuckle come from Grady’s lips, but cut it off with another kiss. It was getting a lot hotter, and Jess was the only one shirtless. He had to fix that. Grabbing the sweater and pulling it over Grady’s head, he pulled him closer, only to feel the other boy’s erection pressing against him. This only made him harder. Pulling away, he grinned at Grade and ran a hand down his chest, leaning back down to kiss along his collarbone. Grade let out a shaky breath, and moved his hands downward, hooking his thumbs through Jess’ belt-loops.
Jess straddled Grady’s hips, rubbing himself against the erection he knew Grady was enduring. His own was becoming more and more painful. Jesus, since when?! Since when had he wanted Grady so badly?! It was hard to keep himself from losing control. Grady let out a soft whimper as Jess pushed himself against him. His lips were swollen, eyes closed, face flushed. Perfect in every damn way possible.
Sweat glistened on Jess’ brow, and the top of his lip. It was burning in here now. His erection was killing him. There was too much between them. Far too much. He Moved to stand, unbuttoning his jeans as he did so. Grady took the initiative to tug down the zipper and push down the blocking garment, as well as the boxers, to reveal Jess’ erection, slick and glistening with precum. Jess stepped out of the jeans and tugged down Grady’s sweats. They were both completely exposed. Nothing was between them now.
Except, Jess realized with an inward laugh, Grady’s socks.
Grady was sitting on his bed, semi-completely naked now, legs slightly parted and hanging off, hands pulling Jess closer. Jess had never seen anything so erotic. He stood, Grady’s legs between his own, as though he were straddling the other boy standing up. Grady’s hands moved up his arms, then down his sides, down his back, stopping just teasingly above his ass. Jess wrapped his arms around Grady’s neck, and leaned in. Grady’s tongue darted out to lick his lips lightly, and Jess couldn’t help but capture it between them. He sucked lightly on Grady’s tongue, and finally captured his lips in what had have been their most fiery kiss yet.
He felt Grady tug him closer during the kiss, and then sharp pleasure as their hard-ons accidentally brushed. Grady gasped into the kiss, and Jess’ grip on him tightened. He was being pulled, slowly, torturously, down onto the bed. He had to admit, he had no idea what he was doing. But he felt safe with Grady. Safe and alive.
But he knew Grady was scared.
“Hey, uh, Bean. Listen-” He was cut off as Grady kissed him fiercely. Okay, so much for that.
“I want this, Jess.” Grady gasped out. He was still out of breath from that kiss. “I need this. I need you to make me forget. Please, Jess...”
Grady was laying on his side, looking down at him. His fingers were running through his dreads. His whole body was shaking with need. Jess, as he felt every last bit of this need, knew he wanted Grady to forget. He wanted to make sure Grady never had another nightmare, never had another flashback. He wanted Grady to be happy.
Jesus, isn’t that what love is?
Screw Inhibition.
Pulling Grady on top of him, Jess slipped one hand in between them to wrap around Grady’s erection. He heard Grady gasp, and felt hotter than ever. He smirked up at him, devilishly.
“Then, I hope you’re ready, Bean.” He stated confidently.
As if he had any idea what he was doing.
Letting go, he heard Grady whimper at the lost of contact. He pushed Grady onto his back, and straddled his waist. He leaned down to kiss him, but Grady had other plans. Grady moved his hand up to the back of Jess’ neck, pulling him down close. Then, the other boy nipped, sucked, and licked the sensitive skin on his neck, making Jess moan. Jess was delirious. His neck was sensitive, and what Grady was doing made everything electrify.
He threw his head back, giving Grady more access, running his hands down his back as well. Grady pulled him down until they lay chest to chest. Jess was so lost in his eyes, that heated gaze, he barely realized Grady was reaching down. Then, his body reacted for him. Intense pleasure shook his body, as Jess felt that hand move torturously over his length. His back arched, his mouth opened in a silent cry. But Grady kept going, slow and light and so teasingly it was almost painful.
“Christ, Grade..” Jess hissed, biting his lip to keep from screaming in the most primal way a human being could. Grady began assaulting Jess’ neck again, still continuing his strokes. Jess never wanted Grady to stop. He was falling so fast, it was insane.
He knew his fingers were going to leave bruises on Grady’s back by now. Which reminded him, why was Grady having all the fun? Reaching down, he brushed his fingers over the erection he was glad to feel. Grady gasped into Jess’ neck. Jess let out a gratified smile as Grady began to stroke faster. Sweat dripped from their foreheads as they picked up the pace, breathing hard. Grady picked up his head and looked into Jess’ eyes. Jess was far too gone with feeling to keep any of it out of his own eyes.
So, the emotions mixed as eyes locked. It was a feeling, a connection, that neither of them could fathom at that point in time. But it was something they both knew would stay. Scary, dangerous, beautiful...
They came together, spilling their hot seed on each other’s stomachs. The euphoria of orgasm pierced through them. Jess screamed Grady’s name, and Grady bit down on his neck, drawing blood.
Letting his entire body collapse on top of Grady, Jess ran a hand through the wheat-colored hair affectionately. Christ, that had been amazing. Grady had been amazing. Nothing could be more amazing. Nothing at all.
Wrapping his arms around the lithe boy he’d come to call Bean-Pole, he sighed, physically sated, emotionally celebrating. The fireworks were going off outside, he could hear them. He kissed Bean affectionately on the lips, mumbling a Happy New Year, before falling into contented slumber.
(())
Grady woke New Years Day to find a note by his bedside. Dreading it’s words, he slowly unfolded it. Doodles framed the page from Jess’ notebook, and he looked away from them to the actual words.
Fireworks can light the sky,
Sparklers, let them go off,
Fuck them, they don’t matter,
I woke you from eternal nightmares,
You saved me from my doubt,
My heart has been renewed,
Yours brought back to life,
Happy New Heart, Grady West,
You and I, it will hurt,
But we can both forget the last ones.
Grady felt a tear roll down his cheek. He wiped it away, as there seemed to be a PS.
PS:
Your parents called. They’re gonna stay at your aunt’s for a couple days. New Years Resolution? Meet me in the shower to discuss.
Grady grinned.
Happy New Heart.
- 1
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