Anita of the Rings

BY : outlawblue
Category: Anita Blake > General
Dragon prints: 1287
Disclaimer: I do not own the Anita Blake series, nor the Lord of the Rings. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

"Nathaniel, what are you watching?" Anita asked as she readied to go out. Edward had called her, and she was going to help him.

"Lord of the Rings, Fellowship of the Ring," he answered and chomped down on some popcorn. It was movie night and everyone who was anyone was watching the Fellowship for the umpteenth time.

Anita smiled. She hated missing movie night, but duty called. "Love you," she said as she headed out the door.

"Wuve you," Nathaniel answered with a mouthful of popcorn.

Anita climbed into her SUV and buckled up. Starting it up, she pulled out of the driveway, and in front of a speeding Lexus.


Anita knew it was a dream that she had been hurt in an accident, but finding herself in a sunny meadow bside a lovely stream had her concerned. Was she dead, and was this Heaven?

Staring up into the branches of a great shade tree, she realized that she could smell food cooking and aromatic wood burning. Sitting up, she was horrified to see that she was shoeless and her feet were well...BIG!

She was still a girl, but she was in pants with big
feet. What was going on here? Standing up, amazed that she could move at all with feet that big, she started walking towards the dirt road when she heard a sound she recognized. A Tank! A tank was coming! Running towards the road, she stared in awe as a tank rumbled across the simple bridge. Poking his head out of the tank was Edward!

"Edward! Edward!" she cried and ran towards the tank.

Edward slapped the top of the tank and shouted, "Slow'er down, Olaf. It's Anita Baggins."

Anita stopped suddenly in her tracks. Anita Baggins? Oh God No! She was in a coma and dreaming that she was Frodo. I gotta wake up, she told herself.

"Well, are you going to stand there or hop on board?" Edward asked and offered her a hand. Apparently real short people had trouble getting on tanks.

Anita decided riding to town would be better than walking, and with his hand to help her on board, Anita Baggins climbed on to the tank of Capt. Edward Gandalf, at least that was what his uniform name badge said.

"Capt.Gandalf?" she asked curiously as the tank rumbled on.

"Why Anita Baggins," Edward said with a lazy grin. "You know I was demoted last year over that little thing with Asherfindel."

Asherfindel? Oh God, now she was getting a head ache. "Sorry, I forgot," she said and read his badge over his name tag. M. A. I. A. R. She didn't even want to know what that meant. "So you've come for my uncle's birthday party?" she asked, trying to remember the plot of the movie.

"Wouldn't miss it for anything," Edward assured her. "Olaf and I even brought some fireworks for tonight."

"Not a dragon, is it?" she asked curiously.

"Not unless you think this baby is a dragon," Edward said proudly and patted the tank.

"Boys and their toys," Anita mumbled to herself. Suddenly a crowd of kids appeared and followed them down the road. OK, Edward should make pretty sparklers now, she thought and waited for the sparklers. But nothing happened. So all right; they aren't following canon exactly. That makes this interesting.

As they rumbled into town, she spied a face she knew well. Micah! "Micah!" she yelled and started down. Edward slapped the top of the tank and told Olaf to stop. "I'll see you at the party tonight," Anita assured him with a wave of the hand as she ran to join up with Micah.

Micah smiled when she was nearly upon him and said, "Oh Ms. Baggins. It is good to see you this lovely day."

Anita stopped with her mouth open and her eyes narrowing in disbelief. "Micah?"

"Micah Gamgee, Ms. Baggins. At your service," he announced with a slight bow.

This did not make Anita happy. She knew she was in a coma, trapped in a Lord of the Rings Fantasy, and Micah apparently did not know that they were lovers, Nimir-raj to her Nimir-ra.

"Have you seen my Uncle Frodo?" she asked, although she was pretty sure she already knew where her uncle lived.

"Certainly Ms. Baggins. He's at home with a do not disturb sign on the gate."

"Yeah, great. And Edward is on his way to see him, and I wasn't in that scene," Anita said as she tried to remember the plot. "What am I supposed to do until the next scene?" she asked curiously, not expecting an answer.

Micah smiled and said, "We can go screw in the barn."

Anita stared at him a moment and then smiled. "Yeah, we can go screw until the party."


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