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.Why are there no Unicorns?	By : keithcompany Category: A through F > Bible Views: 7014 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own the religious writings/book this fanfiction is written for, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 1-Why are There No Unicorns?
- 1
Author's Note on Certain Controversy.
I wrote this story partly to answer a challenge and mostly to explore one of the weirdest events I know of in the Old Testament. There is a lot of controversy over the very existence of Bible FanFiction. I'm not sure why, other than pride and a total lack of a sense of humor.
Whatever one's stance on the source of the Bible, the impact on culture cannot be ignored. The books hold a powerful position in some of the biggest religions on the planet. They've inspired policies which have lead to hospitals, wars, charities, witch hunts... People on both sides of the American Civil War were certain that this was the Final Conflict, where their pro- or anti- slavery stances would prove out as the Lord's will.
Because of that position, the familiarity and the very topics of the stories told in the Bible, there have long been attempts to imitate it or fanfiction to explore within it. Some of the fanfiction has proven professionally popular. So much so, in fact, that many people could not tell you that certain details of Hell, that many hold as factual, actually come from Dante's fictional account, not the Bible itself.
There is at least one online petition to censor all Biblefics. There are a lot of misconceptions in the comments on the petition.
The fact that a fanfiction section exists, for any topic, does not make the statement that the subject of the fandom is fictional. Celebrity fanfic actually depends on the subject being real, in fact.
The creation of a Bible section under books, without a corresponding Q'ran section, or one for the eddas, or the Vedas, or the Talmud, is not something the ruling class of AFF did in order to sanction one litany while leaving the rest alone. Sections follow fandom. For the most part, any section on AFF.Net exists because someone wrote the story, first, and asked to include it. If anyone writes a Q'ran fanfic, it would probably be able to get a section added.
A number of the complaints I've heard or read are exclusive to the fact that the petitioner is offended. I'm sorry but I'm not entirely sure where one finds legal support for the idea that you have a right to not be offended. I've known many sailors who were offended by the very thought of gay mansex. But I've also known a lesbian who was very offended by heterosexual activities. What you CAN find support for, at least around here, is free speech.
Now, I do agree that freedoms extend only as far as to the point they start to infringe upon the civil rights of others. I have the freedom to shout 'fire' but doing so in a crowded theatre could endanger others.
If you feel that my writing a story has the power to harm Jesus, God, Noah, You, Your Children, Religion in General, Christianity in specific, your particular Faith, or somehow desecrates the Bible itself in a manner that makes it impossible for you to get into heaven, I am sorry but I cannot see that. To the best of my knowledge, if you didn't know that this story was here, your life would not be substantially different than it is now that you do.
If you are here for the express purpose of finding fault and taking offense, then you could probably consider your mission fulfilled without reading any farther. If you wish to file a complaint or an offensive review, please keep in mind that the site asks that you self-identify as an adult, that Bible section is clearly marked, that the warning codes are attached to the summary and in my mind you have no one but yourself to blame for putting this much effort into getting somewhere to be that offended.
But please, I hope you enjoy the story and would really, really enjoy some feedback. I am a review whore.
===================
Dumkina's hands shook as she carried the sack of grain down the passageway. As usual, the smell was overpowering on this deck. The cubit-wide window at the top of the structure did little to ventilate it. But she was used to the smell.
What scared her was at the end of the passage.
So she lingered. After scattering a handful of grain in a stall, she'd wait to make sure it was all eaten before moving on. She couldn’t really afford this.
Ester was working the other end of the deck. There was no way to see through the gloom, so her sister-in-law couldn't be watching her progress, but somehow, she'd know anyway. They all did.
Finally, though, she got to the end of the row. The last stall on this deck was an odd one. The other stalls on this deck had small half-doors. This one bore a full, thick, almost-armored door. She swung the nearly emptied sack towards the handle.
Then again, she thought, it wasn't all that odd. Every door on this deck was the minimum required to confine the animal within.
"Victuals!" a voice cried as she lifted the latch. A random wave struck the barge just as she did, throwing Dumkina back against the wall.
She staggered back, falling to the floor, half in the hall, half in the stall. The heavy door swung back as the barge recovered from the wave. Dumkina saw it coming for her leg and started to scream from the anticipated pain.
With a loud 'thock' the door stopped moving, a span away from her knee. She looked up, seeing the spiraling horn stuck into the central plank. Her eyes followed it down to the head that owned it.
The Unicorn winked down at her. "Can't have the only virgin on board broken in two," his voice rumbled. "What would I do for fun then?"
Ham's wife blushed and dropped her gaze to the floor.
-----
"What was that screaming?" Ester asked. Of course, she didn't ask when she heard it, or when they stowed their empty grain sacks together. Hours later, when the family collected for their common meal, she asked in front of everyone.
"There was screaming?" Aster asked in surprise. "I didn't hear any screaming." Dumkina's other sister-in-law was automatically on Ester's side of a fight that hadn't even started yet. The two were alike enough to be sisters, and not only in name.
Ham looked up from the table, from Ester to Aster, because they were talking, then to his wife. Worry covered his face.
"It was nothing," she assured him. "I fell. I don't have my balance yet."
"Sea legs," Noah said, taking his seat at the head of the table. "That's what it's called. That's what sailors call it."
"Yes, dear," Tanit thanked him, before he could expound on how he had learned the term, or the nature of the sailor that had taught it to him, or whatever myriad details he attached to the knowledge. She placed the bowl of porridge before him, holding it until he reached out to take it himself.
For her sons, she merely placed the bowls down, letting each grab his own before the pitching ark tossed it to the floor. Her daughters in law served themselves.
"Actually," Japhet mused, "since we're the only people left, it's whatever we call it, isn't it?"
"A good point," Shem agreed. "I think we should call a good balance, or the ability to predict the ocean's movements..." He flicked at his bowl, sending it skidding the length of the table. A timely wave stopped it, sending it straight back to his waiting hand. "...Shem legs." The family laughed.
Except for Ham. He wrapped an arm around his wife as she sat. Without a word, he looked a question at her. "It was nothing," she repeated.
"Well, she certainly didn't lose the baby," Japhet snorted. His sibling and their wives giggled.
"What's that?" Noah asked. "Dumkina is pregnant?"
"No," she said softly.
"Not likely," Shem said with a smile. He looked at his parents. "Well, come on. There's no privacy in this place. At night, everyone knows what Japhet and Aster are doing-"
"Or what Shem and Ester are doing," Japhet interrupted. Shem acknowledged his elder brother with a nod.
"But from their bunk?" he indicated the youngest couple with a nod. "Nothing. They kiss, they snore, they get up in the morning."
"If she's pregnant," Aster said, eyes locked on her bowl, "it's a miracle."
Everyone at the table, everyone in the world, turned to stare at her. "Well," she said after a moment, "it would be another miracle."
"It's just that she doesn't-" Ham started to say. Started to blame. When he realized what he was doing, he stopped and turned to her.
"It's alright," she said. And it was. His standing in the family was important. Her standing was based on his, not the other way around. She could shoulder the blame. "I just don't feel...romantic. Not here, not with this... these smells. "
"Heavens," Japhet snickered, "we do it to drive the smells out!"
"That's enough," Tenet said with finality. "We don't need to talk about private lives."
"We don't have private lives," Ester muttered softly. But not softly enough.
"You'll help me in the kitchen after dinner, Ester?" Tenet asked. Nothing got past that woman, Dumkina thought, especially the last word. Ester just nodded.
Shem started telling a story about Ham falling into a pile of manure on the lowest deck and the family moved past her fall. And her marriage.
----
Dumkina found some work after dinner, reweaving a screen across one of the bird cages. The fourteen chickens within ignored her. If only everything on board would ignore her, she thought with a sigh.
"Dumkina," Ham's voice called from behind her. Well, not EVERY thing on board. She relaxed into his arms as he stepped close. "I'm sorry," he said.
"Nothing to be sorry for," she said. "You don't like me..."
"I like you," he hissed. "I love you!"
"But not as you should," she murmured. She turned, taking his head in hand and placing a kiss upon his lips. He responded, briefly, but finally the lips sagged and lay still. Dumkina nibbled and sucked, but nothing happened.
She reached to the front of his robes, stroking at the place her mother told her men liked to be stroked. Nothing happened there, either. She stepped back, looking in his eyes.
"I'm sorry I fail you, Ham," she said.
"You don't fail, love," he promised her. "Something's wrong with me. I've never... I never liked girls."
------
The Unicorn sprawled in a corner the next day. "Feeling well?" he asked her as she placed his food on the deck.
"It's none of your business," she snapped.
"Ooooh, a bitchy mood. Which bitch is the cause?" He rolled to a standing pose, looking ready to fight. He was a huge beast, the size of a bull. The lion's tail flicked back and forth, in counterpoint to the movement of the horn at the other end.
For a moment, she fancied a battle charge, the Unicorn racing through the ship, spearing her in-laws, pitching them over the side with a flip of his horn. Would they still have their snide expressions? Or would they finally show some emotion besides arrogance?
But then what? Eight people remained of the world. Eight. A miserable number after growing up in a decent city. Even if she actually hated them all, she couldn't bear to part with any of them, not now.
"Still, none of your business," she said, but this time with a small smile. She turned to leave.
"I can help you...." the beast said softly. She paused, but continued walking. "What?" it called after her. "Not even a 'what do you mean?' Is that denial? Or just stupidity?"
She hunched her shoulders and swung the door shut. She checked the latch four times before leaving, ignoring his continued shouts.
-------
They were two months into the voyage when she stopped ignoring the Unicorn. The rains had finally stopped by then, and the air through the window was a cooler breeze.
Ham said it didn't help much on the lowest deck, but where the people lived it was a great improvement. But the fresher air seemed to invigorate Ester and Aster. The two seemed to be in some sort of competition. Japhet would cry out in satisfaction and Shem would start moaning.
Finally, one night Noah's voice rang out in the living quarters: "What, again?! The rabbits are one deck down!" The older two couples quieted, but for some reason the comment struck Dumkina and Ham funny. Terribly funny. For hours after that, one would start giggling, which would cause the other to join in.
Every time they got it under control again, one or the other would burst out.
So it was a tired but uncommonly cheerful young woman that stepped into the Unicorn's stall that day.
"Happy?" it muttered. "What would make someone happy on this monument to genocide?" Dumkina's mood evaporated on the instant. Memories of family she'd lost crowded it out of her skull. "Oh, I'm sorry," the Unicorn muttered. "I shouldn't have said anything. If you were happy, even for a moment..." It paced back and forth for a moment. "Here, let me make it up to you."
He poked her. His long, sharp horn swirled through the air and came to rest against her robe. Against her breast. The tip was unerringly placed at the top of her nipple.
"Eep!" she squeaked, coming to a stop. Only Ham had ever touched her there, and she had almost had to force him to do it. The perfunctory stroking was weak, and she hardly missed it when he stopped. This was different.
She looked down. Torchlight sparkled across the surface of the horn, granting it a beauty she'd never noticed before. The light changed like something alive as the fire flickered and as the horn moved. Ever so slightly, ever so gently, the beast rolled and pressed her nipple.
Thrills ran through the young woman. She never knew, then or later, if some Unicorn magic was involved, or if it was the novelty of the moment or if it was just getting some sort of attention that made her legs weak while her heart thudded against her ribs.
"Oh," she murmured, raising her hand to make it stop. But the touch of the shaft woke something else within her. It was the perfect size, she felt. She just wasn't sure what for.
Dumkina wrapped her fingers around the middle of the horn and tried to push it away from her. As well try to get one of the elephants below to move by leashing it with twine. The muscles of the Unicorn's shoulder and neck were almost as big as she was.
Instead of pushing the touch away, she pushed herself back. The wall stopped her movement, but the horn followed her. She tried to slide to one side, but the animal stepped forward, plate-sized hooves soundless on the wooden decking. When she was cornered, he shifted his attention to her other breast, her other nipple.
That reacted, too. She was amazed at her body's reaction. It seemed like something possessed. She certainly never imagined raising her hands to cup her breasts, not to steady them for an animal's touch.
An animal...
With a cry of shame, she ducked straight down, rolling across the floor and out the door. She was too quick for the creature to keep her, and bolted it in before anything was said. When she was halfway down the passageway, though, she remembered the door that it had captured for her.
The thing had crossed the stall in the blink of an eye, with time to brace itself and aim the horn. She couldn't possibly have escaped faster than it could have stopped her. So why did it let me go? she wondered. She stepped to the storage bin just as Ester stepped out.
"Where's your sack?" she asked Dumkina.
"Um... It's in the Unicorn's stall," she replied. "It wanted something to play with, to pass the time." Ester shrugged and walked off. It took a while for Dumkina to realize that she may not have actually told a lie.
------
Three months into the voyage, Dumkina had her 'Shem legs.' The day came when she realized she hadn't tripped, fallen or thrown up in more than a week. She stepped out with a new confidence, at least in her duties to the ship and cargo.
She was growing more quiet around her husband's family. Realizing that something needed to change, she braced the Unicorn.
"What did you mean, help me?" she asked from the doorway.
"You want children," it replied, spread across a reef of straw. "I can make that happen."
"You can give me children?" she said skeptically.
"I can. They'll be ugly as sin..." His huge eyes rolled in his head at the phrase, considering the conditions they lived under at the time. "Let's change the subject. What I can do, that you'll allow, is to make Ham give you children."
She was silent for a long time. The horse-like being stayed perfectly still, waiting.
"How?" she finally asked.
"What did you do after I...?" He gestured towards her bosom with his horn, climbing to his feet.
"I didn't tell anyone and I tried to forget it ever happened."
The Unicorn bulged his eyes. "Could you? Could you forget that?"
"No," Dumkina admitted, turning away from the beast. "But I don't want you to do it again."
He snorted, then said, "Fine. But you want someone to do that."
"Ham..." She paused.
"...Doesn't want to," he finished. "Fine. Do it yourself, then." She spun around to stare at him, shocked. He pointed his horn directly at her heart. "Just rub them. In your marital bunk, with your marital partner, just to feel good while your in-laws make babies. It's no sin," he assured her.
She wasn't sure, though. Noah had said that the reason for the Flood was Man's wicked behavior. There was no list of behaviors, good or bad, to judge by, but the Lord would know. She silently fled the room, thinking hard.
That night, as Japhet noisily climaxed and subsided, she snuggled closer to Ham. She loved the heat of him, the smell of him. If she got close enough to his body, the sweaty sense of Ham filled her being and drove out the smells, the heat, the never-ending rocking. She could pretend, then, that they were the only two people in the world. The irony of that fantasy never occurred to her.
Right now, the rocking rubbed her up against him over and over in a gentle rhythm. He murmured in his sleep and wrapped an arm over her. Dumkina's breast lay next to his elbow, the nipple rubbing back and forth along the inner joint.
It pulsed happily and firmed against the attention. Once more, she wondered if some demon possessed her body. It wasn't a conscious act to turn her torso slightly, to improve the contact. Nor was it even natural, it seemed, that her hand rose to pay attention to the other breast.
She moaned, low and gentle, rubbing herself in her husband's arms. The shocked silence of the other bunks was nothing compared to the look on Ham's face, eyes popping wide open to stare at her.
He opened his mouth, but she covered his lips with her free hand. "Hush," she whispered. Then, "Help?" She moved his hand to her left breast while her own hand stayed on her right. His grip was inexpert and unenthusiastic, but it was attention.
She rolled a bit, facing away from him. She slid so that one of his arms was under her, one atop. His two hands she placed over her breasts. They lay there, gentle but still.
Dumkina covered his hands with her own, making very simple puppets out of them. As she moved her hands, he responded, taking her direction.
She rubbed faster and harder, and moaned louder. Ham became more aware of their audience than of what he was doing. Hissing comments of incredulity filled the space.   He smiled, knowing that their image of him was changing. In gratitude, he leaned over to snuggle his wife's ear.
For her part, Dumkina couldn't help compare what she felt to how the Unicorn had made her feel. She felt guilt that the thing had even touched her, much less made her feel better than her own husband could.
But when he kissed her, she realized that he did love her, and wanted her happy. They just had to map out a way the two of them could both be happy. "Oh, Ham," she murmured. She writhed against him and he held her close. Finally they faced each other and kissed. It was the most passionate they'd ever been with each other.
They fell asleep wrapped tightly together.
-----
At breakfast, Shem elbowed his brother teasingly.   "I think you got confused, brother," he smiled. "It's supposed to be you making those noises, not your wife."
"Ah," Ham replied, smiling just as wide. "And here I thought you made those noises because you were unable to draw such sounds from Aster."
"I could!" Shem shouted. "I can make Aster moan happily any time I want."
"Oh?" his wife, Ester, asked from beside him.
"Yes, oh?" Aster asked from beside Japhet. Shem's protestations of innocence were like blood in the water for this family. The sharks started circling.
Ham winked at Dumkina, she smiled back. As she turned back to her bowl, her attention was caught by Tenet. The matriarch slowly and clearly winked once at her daughter-in-law. Then she set about silencing the bickering couples between them.
------
"Okay, that was nice," she told the Unicorn. "But it's not getting me a family. I'm pretty sure that you have to do more than rub breasts to have children."
"Pretty sure?" he asked. "Seriously? Your mother never-"
"I'm a girl of the earth," she interrupted. Then waved to indicate the livestock gathered forward and below the stall. "I know where baby animals, and baby peoples, come from."
"Oh," he replied. It was hard to tell, but she thought he was smiling. Hands on her hips, she regarded the beast. Forget smiling.
"You look smug," she finally said. His tail snapped like a whip, startling her.
"Unicorn's don't get 'smug,'" he replied. "Smug is when you're proven correct. We're never wrong."
"Smug," she judged, closing the discussion with her tone. "So, how can you help me get children?"
The Unicorn turned to the pile of grain she'd put down and started eating it. "Whinny, whinny," he said between bites.
"Okay, you're not just a dumb animal, and you're not smug. What do I do next?" He continued eating for a bit, then turned. Face still low to the ground, the tip of his horn raised the hem of her robes. He exposed her shins, then her thighs. She stood still, trembling slightly.
"Nice legs," he finally said. "Although how you people balance on just two of them is beyond me." A flick of his head released her clothes. The horn rose to her face. "Lick it."
"What?" She stared.
"Lick the sides, the tip, take it in your mouth." She leaned forward and started to obey. She took hold of it to steady it. The smooth, hard ivory was strangely warm to the touch. When her tongue briefly moved along it, she was amazed at the salty flavor. It tasted just like Ham smelled. That connection to her love made her bold. She licked back and forth, from where her hand gripped it to the tip.
Dumkina took the end into her mouth, as one would suck on a sugar cane. There was no magical flow this time, but something tugged at her insides. She raised her other hand to grasp the horn.
"Okay, that's enough," the Unicorn said, taking a step back. She took a half-step after him, stopping to wipe her lips on her sleeve. "Do that," he ordered her. "Do that to Ham, you'll be halfway there."
"Do that?" she asked. "But Ham doesn't have a horn!" Then she blushed as she grasped the metaphor.
Dumkina realized that she couldn't spring this on Ham in the bunk. After dinner, she stroked his hair as she gathered the bowls. Their eyes met, hers with intent and his with surmise.
An hour later, they met among the bird cages. Ham was gazing at the various pairs of bats. She stepped up behind him and wrapped her arms around his waist. "What are you thinking of?"
"Wondering what makes these unclean," he said, nodding to the dark forms at the tops of their cages, "and these clean." Across the way, seven pairs of geese rested in their pen. "Is it because the bats are more frightening?"
"You've never been attacked by an angry goose," Dumkina said with a shudder. "Those things are feathered jackals."
He turned, wrapping her in a calming hug. She sagged into his arms, breathing in his presence. "What do you want, Dumkina?"
"I want to do something for you," she said. "You have to trust me."
"I trust you with everything," he said, "save for what is reserved for the Lord." She nodded.
"Hopefully, he doesn't want your horn." She explained what she wanted to do. At least, how she wanted to try to do something for him. He looked alternately amazed, thrilled and horrified.
"That would... I don't know if...I just... You know I can't give you..."
She placed a hand over his mouth. "You don't have to do anything for me. I'm doing this for you. Just...enjoy it. And, maybe, if I'm doing it wrong, let me know?"
"I don't even know how to do it," he replied. "How will I know if you're doing it right?"
"I'm guessing," she said, "there's not really a wrong way to do it?"
----
Slow and uncertain, she eased back the covers, unveiling Ham's body. He lay still before her, equally uncertain.
She reached out and touched his penis. He gave no reaction. She smiled encouragingly at him and scooted down a bit. She hefted his limp manhood, feeling a small surge or tremor within it. As she had suspected after her visit to the Unicorn, her love was starved for attention, even if only from a woman.
Dumkina bent down and kissed it gently on the tip. Holding it as she had held the horn, she licked the sides, the end. It firmed in her hand and stretched. She took the end in her mouth and repeated what she'd done in the stall.
The creature would have told her if she'd been doing it wrong, wouldn’t it? Hoping she could trust the animal, she continued at what she was doing.
Ham's breathing sped up. His hands hovered around his waist like angels watching over a miracle. In the end he just grabbed handfuls of bedding and twisted them. She continued, licking and sucking. The hardest part turned out not to be getting him involved, but stopping him.
He kept lifting his hips, spearing the cock into her mouth. If she was on a down-stroke at the time, she nearly gagged on the penetrating length. Finally, she put both hands on his thighs and pushed down, pinning him in place.
Back in control, of the rhythm, the length and the rest, she quickly finished him off. He screeched like one of the great cats below, grabbing her by the hair to shoot his issue into her mouth.
Again, she nearly gagged. The hot fluid flooded in, tasting like nothing she knew. It was alien, and unexpected...and it was Ham's. She smiled at him and bravely swallowed. She really didn't think that it was going to end up making her pregnant, but it was closer than rubbing her breasts had been.
Then she snuggled closer, in under his arm, fingertip drawing lazy patters on his ribs.
"Thank you," he breathed. Dumkina wasn't sure if he'd been loud enough to be overheard, so she spoke up.
"It was nothing," she said, "I enjoy doing that for you." Then she lay back down and hugged him close. The hissing in the next bunks went on for a long time, but she ignored the details, happily and handily ahead in the competition.
--------
The Unicorn was as cheerful as his visitor that day. "A good night's sleep?" he suggested.
"Not exactly," Dumkina replied. "I mean, I slept, and slept well, but only eventually." She giggled. The beast shook his mane back and forth.
"Never thought to hear you make that noise," he said. "It's what humans do to indicate that they have gas, right?"
"Oh, pooh,' she said, slapping him with the end of the grain sack. "It means I'm happy."
"Well, then," he said, nuzzling her shoulder with his mouth, "I'm happy that you're happy. Are your in-laws happy?" She thought he was more than usually shrewd just then.
"Ester and Aster both want to find a way to accuse me of being a whore, I think."
"For having sex with your husband? Tsk, tsk," he said, shaking his great head.
"No, for having great sex with my husband," she replied. "I think they're trying to figure out what I'm doing, and working up the nerve to try it."
"Tell them," he said.
"What?"
"If they figure it out themselves, then they'll feel superior to you. If you show them, then no matter how good they get at it, they'll know they have you to thank for it."
"Interesting..." she said softly. She stood on tiptoe to plant a small kiss on the side of his head. Then she was gone.
----
In the fifth month, Noah had to make a change. He told the family at the evening meal.
"We are falling behind on the lowest deck. The bilge, it's called. Not only do the animals there produce the greatest amount of manure, but anything that isn't cleaned up on the upper levels drains down to there."
"So, what's to be done?" Ham asked.
"Corks," Shem offered, but without his wry grin. He was exhausted, all the men were.
"We have to move people around. We can't split the upper decks between the women. Tanit, you take the upper level."
"Alone?" she asked, disbelief in her voice. To date, she'd been limited to the kitchen and cooking.
"Not alone, never alone," Noah reminded her. "The Lord is always with you."
"Watching," she said. All the boys noted the tone in her voice, the one that bespoke violence. Noah noted nothing.
"Exactly," he agreed. "The Lord is always watching our labors."
"And only watching," Tanit muttered. Everyone flinched, waiting for a response, but there wasn't one.
"Aster, Ester, you're to help your husbands in the bilge. Feeding the animals, shifting the manure, cleaning the cages and stalls. Ham, you move down a level, to the bilge. Dumkina, you take Aster and Ham's place on the second deck." No one argued. The increased and unaccustomed labors were necessary, and no one had room to shirk.
"Maybe we could get the apes to help?" Japhet asked, though. "They could be trained to loads up to the sluice."
"They'd be more likely to sling the feces," Dumkina said. "We had more than a few back home..." As always, her voice caught at the memory of all that was lost. Japhet took the pause as a response to his glare. As if she cared what he thought about her attempt to help. She subsided, shrinking down against Ham's side.
"I'd rather not let the apes out of their cages," Noah said with a shake of his head.
"Yeah," Shem said, "we might confuse them, and lock Ham in at the end of the day."
Ham just smiled. "Yes, I seem to have brothers dumb enough to think thick black hair is the same as a tunic."
-----
The next day, the new schedule started. Breakfast was cut short and everyone scattered to their chores. There was no lunch, not until the bulk of the manure was under control. And there was almost no dinner.
Tanit was pacing back and forth in the common area when the workers stumbled up to dine. The cookfire was just bringing the water to boil as everyone slumped into their places.
"That....that BEAST!" she was muttering.
"They're all beasts," her husband replied wearily. "Can you narrow it down?"
"The one that talks!" she hissed.
"Myna bird?" Shem asked pretending to be helpful.
"Parrot?" Japhet joined.
"Unicorn?" Dumkina asked. She'd suspected that there would be difficulty.
"He tried to kill me!"
"Oh, I doubt that," Noah said, dismissing her entirely. "If a beast like that tried to kill you, we'd be cleaning your body."
"Ugh!" Shem spat. "We're trying to eat!"
"There's no food," Ham pointed out.
"Well, there will be," Shem replied. "There will be, won't there?" he asked his mother.
"Eventually," she muttered. "That thing just has me so scared... I really thought he was going to run me through."
"He's just used to Dumkina," Aster said. "She should be taking care of him." Dumkina was surprised. She'd hoped to be put back on the first deck, bud didn't dare suggest that Tanit be on second. Was it the mouthing of 'horns,' that did this? Was Aster grateful?
"Yes," Ester agreed. "After she finishes second deck, she can come up here and do the Unicorn's stall. Mom can just leave it for her." Oh.
"That will work," Tanit nodded. She turned to her husband, the captain of the vessel and patriarch of the clan. "If that's okay with you, my dear?"
"Oh, yes, yes," he agreed. Anything that was decided without his having to argue with Tanit was a done deal as far as he was concerned. Tanit smiled at him, then turned to Dumkina.
"If you'll help me in the galley?" There was no answer but yes. As they collected the things for the meal, Tanit placed several bags on Dumkina's arm, then stepped very, very close to her daughter in law.
"You get along well with the Unicorn," she said in a very low voice. Dumkina nodded. "That's interesting. Are you a virgin?"
"No, of course not," the younger woman replied. With deep sincerity, she stated, "I've had Ham inside of me." Tanit grunted, but left her alone after that.
--------
"Where have you been?" the Unicorn asked as she opened the door.
"We changed schedules," she said, slinging an entire bag of grain into the corner. "I have an entire deck to feed, and THEN I get to come up here because you frightened Tanit."
He brushed his lips against the bag, then turned t o face her. "You're just now finishing the other deck?"
"No. I finished the deck, just barely in time for dinner. Then we ate. Then I heard Tanit complain about nearly dying again, and Ester started asking Aster about the gagging sounds from their bunk last night-"
"Ah," he chortled. "You told her?"
"I told Ester," she laughed, "Aster said she didn't need anything from me." They laughed together softly for a minute.
"But still," the beast said, "you left me for after dinner. Did you think extra grain would make up for it?"
"Oh, no," she said. "I thought that if I waited until after dinner, no one would know how long I spent here." Dumkina reached under her robes and brought out a curry comb. She looked at the Unicorn and raised an eyebrow questioningly.
"Oh, my," he breathed.
She worked him from the base of his horn to the end of his tail. Long, slow, loving strokes of the brush. The Unicorn stood still in the center of his stall, nickering slightly. She learned that he was ticklish at the dock, and that stroking his shoulder nearly put him to sleep. While she brushed his withers, he asked about her nights.
"They're fine," she said. "We're fine."
"Define 'fine.'"
"I... I touch myself. I get Ham to touch me. I touch him. We make each other happy."
"Happy..." he repeated. She rounded the brush over his hips and down to his flank. "So, you're getting comfortable with each other's bodies?"
"Yes," she replied. "We're both..." Her voice trailed off. As she had brushed his sides, and underside, she'd been paying attention to the side of his face. She glanced down when she got to the thigh and saw his reaction.
His erect penis was the size of her forearm. Large and pink against his black fur, she found that she couldn't look away.
"Sorry," he said. "It's just been so long..."
"It certainly is," she breathed. Her hand drifted slowly towards it. Just before she took hold of it, his tail wrapped around her wrist and stopped her.
"That's not for you," he said. He stepped away a half-pace. "You and Ham, you're ready. Bring him to me. I'll give you what you need."
"What I need," she said, staring at his enormous cock. He carefully nudged her back to the door with his horn.
------
"You what?" Ham hissed. The tone bothered the warthog behind him. The beast shook her head and shuffled away from the door of the stall.
Ham looked up and down the passageway, but no one was near them, near enough to see in the flickering torchlight. A distant eavesdropper would hear nothing but the background noise of a thousand seasick animals complaining.
"You told an animal about our problems?" he asked.
"It just came out," she said. "He's... Well, he's the only one I ever talk to."
"What if he tells someone!?!?"
"Who?" she asked. "Tanit? All she saw was his horn 'trying to skewer her.' No one else goes near the thing."
"So, what are we supposed to do? Is that thing going to...I dunno, mount you?"
"It wouldn't need you," she replied. "Besides, it said it would give _us_ what we need. Children."
"It'll... It'll make me... Like you?" he said quietly. She shrugged.
------
Ham took time thinking about what the Unicorn might offer, might require of them. And what it might mean to their lives, now and after the ship landed.
"I'm not sure I want to change," he whispered in the night. She cuddled close, kissing gently along his chest.
"Why?" she asked. "Don't you want to be like everyone else?"
He shrugged. "I don't know why I am...what I am. I don't know what it would cost me to change."
"But we have to rebuild the human race," she whispered into his ear. "Everyone has to do their part." She stroked his rib cage and felt him shudder.
"Don't get me wrong," he said. "I want kids. I want to do my part.   I know we were selected by the Lord for this work. But..." He swallowed. "Look, would you like it if someone offered to change you?"
"You mean, from wanting you to wanting... Who, Ester?" He laughed at that, the first sound to carry outside of the bunk.
"No, no one should face that," he muttered. "But what if someone said you needed to sleep with a burro to save that race. Or to carry the eggs of a goose, else they'd be lost forever. Would you let someone change you, so that you wanted goslings more than you wanted children of your own?"
"If I knew our kids would be anything like my little brothers used to be, I could see the choice."
"Brothers," he snorted. This time, it was her laugh that carried.
"Are you two making babies or making puns?" Shem called.
"Sometimes," Ham called out, muffling his voice with his hand, "you get lucky and you can do both! Wait! Don't touch it there!" Then he covered his mouth tightly to cover the following laughter.
"Let them wonder at that," he finally was able to whisper. She smiled.
"Look," she whispered, "at least talk to him."
"Shem?" he asked.
She drove an elbow into his ribs. He squealed in pain. "Let them wonder," she hissed into his ear, then rolled over as far as the bunk would allow.
------
They stole through the night, flinching from the shadows thrown by the never-ending torches. Ham paused at the last door. Dumkina took his hand in hers, smiled, and lifted the latch.
The Unicorn was waiting for them, standing in the center of the stall.
"Ham, haven't seen you since the loading day party!" he called. Ham paused, looking from the beast to his wife and back.
"He's teasing," she promised him, dragging him forward. He closed the door behind them.
"So, you're the lovely woman's husband," it said, shaking its mane. "And you don't find her lovely."
"I love her," Ham insisted.
"Not arguing that," the beast said. It stepped forward. The bulk drove Ham back a step. His wife stepped with him, still holding his hand. "What I want to do is give you a way to give her children."
"I don't want... I won't have him... Changed." Dumkina said. "I love him. I'm afraid that if you take part of him away..."
"No, no, no," the Unicorn said. "No changes. I'm just going to give him some memories that'll help him. Take off your clothes."
"What? Me or her?" Ham asked, at the same time Dumkina asked, "Him or me?" As an answer, the animal spun on his front hooves, striking out with both hind legs. The impact on the stall door snapped it in two with a loud crack. The top flew off, hinges cut completely off. The top of the remaining half-door was as straight as any finished plank on the ark.
"Yes," it finally said, stepping away and turning around. They looked at each other and disrobed. Dumkina folded their robes over the top of the door.
"Good idea," the Unicorn said. "Let's have a look at you." He gazed Ham up and down, drawing a line from chin to knee with the tip of the horn. To everyone's surprise, Ham's member stirred when the horn crossed the groin. The Unicorn didn't pause, but did come back to the young man's manhood after a moment.
Ham looked ashamed, glancing at his wife and away. She was smiling, however. "Ham! You're getting hard. That's wonderful."
"But it's not for you," he muttered through clenched teeth.
"It sure is," the Unicorn growled. "It may not be because of her, but it's certainly for her. Your turn."
The horn explored Dumkina's bare form next. Instead of a line, though, he drew concentric circles. A small one around a nipple, then the next, then the belly button and finally across belly and thigh to circle her pubic hair. Then he started over again, with bigger circles, and a slightly different order.
She was surprised at how good it felt. Again, she suspected magic, but didn't really care at the moment. Eyes reduced to slits, she watched Ham watching the Unicorn touching her. Good, she thought, I won't have to explain more than 'do what the Unicorn did to me,' when she wanted this.
A wave of weakness flowed outwards from her womanhood, she staggered and widened her stance. Wordlessly, the animal turned her around so she was facing the door, then bent her over it. She grasped the wood as the horn danced down her spine.
When it reached her butt, though, it lifted. The animals muzzle nibbled at her cheeks. She grew warmer still at the touch, the lips were almost prehensile. The sensation of lip and tongue were like three oiled hands spreading her ass and stroking her lips.
Then he stopped. She started to stand, but the horn touched her shoulder blade and halted her. "Take a deep breath," it said softly. Just as she did, the horn speared her. A brief touch at her pussy, then a stabbing pain within.
"Ah!" she cried. Ham stepped forward in concern. Then it was gone. The horn withdrew, and the pain went with it. A rush of juices seemed to fill her inside. She writhed in pleasure, turning to face her husband, to show him that she wasn't distressed.
Between them, the Unicorn offered his blood-tipped horn to the man. "Lick it," he ordered. Ham hesitated. "Think of it as a duty," it said. "Just lick it." With clear distaste, Ham obeyed.
Once he started, though, he seemed to find it agreeable, even enjoyable. He cleaned the horn with tongue and lips, smiling quietly to himself. Dumkina felt a strange echo within her mind, watching him perform in the manner she had earlier in the voyage.
When he was done, the horn turned back towards her behind. She grabbed the door and braced herself. If anything, the attentions were more powerful, more lustful. Dumkina surprised herself by begging. "More," she moaned, pressing herself backwards against the face of the creature.
"In a moment," it promised.
"Oh, heavenly angels of fire and light," Ham whispered. She turned, to see her husband staring at the Unicorn, at the underside of his torso.
"Like what you see?" the creature asked, moving a leg slightly. Ham walked forward, hand reaching out. This time, the tail didn't prevent the touch. Dumkina closed her eyes and leaned back against the door.
Happy memories, she thought. She could wait a second, for her husband's pleasure.
"Come here," the Unicorn ordered Ham after a while. The man stepped to his wife's ass. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw the beast's horn guiding Ham's hand. She thought of the puppets at the Market and smiled.
Then his hands grasped her breasts, and her smile widened. He rubbed and squeezed her, stroking and rolling the nipples. They hardened and grew at the touch. The hardness of his cock rubbed against the back of her thighs, tantalizing touching her right at the crease separating ass cheeks and legs.
"But I don't-" Ham started to complain. "Eyarch!" he interrupted himself. She tried to turn, to see what had happened. He held her firmly, tightly, trapping her against the door.
"What happened?" she asked. Then she forgot the question as he finally entered her. The throbbing member slid easily through her swollen lips, filling her inside. The sliding in and out, the pressure against her inner self, was insanely perfect.
They were made to join together, she thought. Well, of course, another part of her brain reminded her. Then words stopped forming and she lost herself to the rhythms.   Where did he learn to do this? she wondered.
"His horn," he gasped above her, "he's shoved it... It's in my... It's in me!" He never stopped pumping her, though.
For a second, Dumkina imagined that the beast had stabbed all the way through her husband to penetrate her again. But no, it was merely exciting him in a way, and in a place, that was a big favor to her.
The thought that the memories they were building included sex that could lead to pregnancy filled her soul with joy the way the two males in the stall had filled her body. She screeched and ground her nails into the cloth beneath her as the world exploded.
Then it was over. Ham withdrew with a wet pop, and sank to the floor. Dumkina followed, straddling his lap and covering his face with kisses.
The Unicorn grabbed some straw with its tail and wiped the horn clean.
"Oh, oh, how can we ever thank you?" she asked.
"An apple?" it replied. "Whinny, whinny."
Eventually, they dressed, slowly and staring at each other in wonder, and stole back to their bunk.
-----
In the seventh month since the loading doors were shut up, the ship stopped rocking. The decks listed to one side ever so slightly, but the lack of movement more than compensated for the slope. After months of having to hold everything against a wave, merely having to chock it against an angle was paradise.
Noah shattered the happiness, though, by announcing that he had spoken with the Lord. His face was troubled as he announced it.
The family gathered at the table and waited.
"The waters are receding," Noah said. "The lands should be ready for us to disembark in a few more months or so." A happy murmur ran around the room after that. Everyone hugged at least one other person. Dumkina was shocked that Aster even gave her a half-hug.
"The Lord has also informed me, we are well on the way to repopulating the planet." His eyes swept the room. "Every woman but Tanit is pregnant." Dumkina's eyes blurred with tears as she hugged Ham. It had worked. But why was Ham's father so somber?
"The Lord has also told me... That there is one among you who has had sex with a beast." Everyone was silent. Shem started to open his mouth, probably to jest about Japhet's habits at bedtime, but stayed silent at a glare from his father.
Noah suddenly sat down, hard, shoulders slumping under a heavy burden.
"I knew we should not have brought that beast," he muttered. "By twos or by sevens, the male and his female, I did what I could. But the Unicorn... They're always alone, always single." No one was sure who he was talking to. They all looked at one another, except Tanit. She stared at her husband.
"There was no female to bring with him. I thought it would cause problems, God said he had a use." His eyes rose up to his wife's. "Is this the use? To seduce one among us from his or her partner?"
"No," Dumkina found herself saying. "He didn't seduce us apart, he brought us closer together." Silence spread, so quiet it seemed that the world had stopped.
"It's true," Ham said after a moment. "If my wife is pregnant, it's only because the Unicorn helped."
"Eugh!" Ester said.
"No, no, it isn't like that," Dumkina protested. "It wasn't like that. He just helped us."
"Who," Japhet asked, gesturing towards Dumkina, "needs help with a wife as beautiful as that?" Aster glowered at him but he was as oblivious as ever.
"He never did have much of a use for girls," Shem said softly. "We were always sneaking into the slave markets to see the girls being washed. He watched the men getting oiled."
"Why didn't you tell anyone?" Noah thundered.
"He was our little brother," Shem answered.
"Yeah," Japhet added, "we just thought he was too stupid to know that women were sexier than men."
"But..." Tanit seemed lost. "If he got his wife pregnant, he can't be..."
"He probably closes his eyes and thinks of men," Aster sneered.
"He probably closes his eyes and thinks of the Unicorn," Ester corrected. Both women gasped at the look of Ham's face just then.
"That's it," Noah said, shooting to his feet. From inside his room he took out a spear, one of the only weapons on board. "I'm taking care of this right now."
"No!" Dumkina shouted. "He only tried to help!"
"Faugh," Ester said, holding Dumkina in her chair. "Some help." On the other side of the room, Ham hesitated between running after his father and turning back to help his wife. Japhet tackled him in the moment of hesitation. Shem went to help Noah.
Tanit stepped to the side of her wrestling sons. "Stop it!" she hissed. "Someone will get hurt. We can't afford that right now!" Japhet released his brother, rose and ran down the passageway. Aster followed. Ester looked from her sister in law to their mother in law. Tanit nodded and Ester took off after her husband.
Tanit shut the door and stood in front of it. Dumkina rose to help Ham to his feet. They both sank to the bench beside the table.
"Dad can't do this," Ham muttered.
"Your father can do almost anything he puts his mind to," Tanit said, waving at the woodwork around them.
"But this is wrong," Ham insisted. "This is unjust."
"Your father is the one to make such decisions. He's the one the Lord talks to." Distant screaming punctuated her statement. Ham took his wife into his arms and tried to soothe her tears.
Some time later, Japhet strode into the room and tossed something onto the table. The horn of the last unicorn rolled across to stop against Dumkina's elbow. "There," he said, "maybe that'll come in handier than your husband, in the nights to come." Tanit glared at him but rose to go find her husband.
Dumkina wiped the blood from the horn and placed it in the couple's private chest.
-----
Years later, and miles away, Ham wrestled the lintel into place. Little Canaan held it firm while his father hammered it down. "What a good little helper," Ham shouted, lifting his youngest son to the ground. "Now, go help your brothers with the herd." The boy smiled and toddled off towards the pasture.
"A good helper?" a voice said. Ham turned to find his wife walking towards him with a bowl of water. "Is that like a lifetime of servitude?"
Ham laughed, remembering that day. In the shadow of Ararat, the last day they'd spent among his family. "Whatever that was supposed to mean," he said, taking the bowl. "I see him naked, he curses my fourth son." After a deep drink, he shook his head and handed it back to Dumkina.
"I wonder if he was jealous," she murmured, turning to go back to the tent. He glanced at the house he was raising, then followed her back to their shelter.
"I don't know how," he said, not quite disagreeing with her. He'd learned not to dismiss anything she said without a lot of thought. "I mean, I'm not a full man in his eyes. Why would he be jealous?"
"He knew you were going to have four boys," she pointed out. He nodded. He didn't fully understand her point, but again, he knew it would be worth hearing her out.
"The Lord probably told him that when He announced all the pregnancies."
"Yes," she nodded, lifting the flap of the tent.   He followed her in. "Think about it. Here he is, the manliest of men, patriarch of the whole world. And he knows that you, a..."
"A lesser man," he supplied with a smile. She smiled back.
"A lesser man," she accepted with a nod, "and you're going to have more sons than he ever will." She refilled the bowl with water from the sweating jar. After taking a sip she allowed him to drain the bowl again.
"Oh," he nodded. "So, if I were fated for three sons, I'd at least be no better than my father, despite being a lesser man by some standards. But four sons means I'm more manly, by other standards. Interesting. But pretty meaningless."
"True," she agreed. "Neither of your brothers has even met Canaan, much less ordered him around." She stood at the edge of the bedding they shared. He stepped up beside her, hugging her warmly, sniffing her hair.
"Wouldn't matter if they did," he said. She hugged him back. Between them, his member stirred and stiffened.
"Oh!" she said. "That can't be for me. I'm all sweaty and dusty."
"Doesn't matter," he said, and it didn't. No matter what she smelled like, the scent always reminded him of a Unicorn. He bent to kiss her as she loosened her robes.
"Another boy?" he whispered.
"Girls," she answered. "While I can still teach them to cook." He nodded, lowering her to the bedroll. They both reached under the pillow, their fingers meeting as they grabbed the horn.
"Whinny, whinny," one of them said. It never mattered which one.
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.Why are there no Unicorns?